


I Live and Lie For You

by KyluxFicHell



Series: I Belong to You Forever [4]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: AU, Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Anal Sex, Dom/sub, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Group Sex, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mentions of Abusive Relationships, Mentions of terminal illness, Mentions of unhealthy Dom/sub relationships, Mpreg, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Pregnancy complications, Protective Brian, Protective Freddie, Public Nudity, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reward and Punishment, Sex Toys, Sexual Harassment, Smut, Spanking, Sub discrimination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:27:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 44,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22131580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyluxFicHell/pseuds/KyluxFicHell
Summary: “Good evening, beautiful people!”A roar from the crowd.“It is our pleasure to be here tonight to entertain you gorgeous creatures. And how gorgeous you all most certainly are! But first of all, I just want to apologise to you all. Some of you may know that we usually refuse to play at venues that discriminate against subs.”An even bigger roar.“But tonight we have let you down. We didn’t realise that tonight’s venue enforces a barbaric no-clothing policy for subs. We want to say sorry to all you lovely subs who have had to endure this, and we can promise you it won’t happen again. Thank you for coming here tonight, and for demonstrating your bravery much like our own beloved submissives.”Freddie gestures at John, who smiles shyly as the crowd cheer for him, and then at Roger, who gives a quick drum roll.“And for all you Doms out there tonight, make sure you keep your sub brothers and sisters safe! They are our greatest treasure.”ORIn a world where everyone is born as a Dominant or a submissive, subs are treated like second class citizens. With two subs in the band, Queen must negotiate a discriminatory society in order to grow their careers and raise their families...
Relationships: Brian May/Roger Taylor, John Deacon/Freddie Mercury
Series: I Belong to You Forever [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1372078
Comments: 224
Kudos: 274





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is set in a Dom/sub AU where everyone has a natural “status” and is born either a Dominant or a submissive. This society is highly discriminatory against subs, and public punishment/humiliation of subs is socially acceptable.
> 
> This is the fourth fic in the ‘I Belong to You Forever’ series and is a direct sequel to ‘I Belong to You Forever’. I therefore recommend reading part 1 of the series first, although it’s not necessary to read parts 2 or 3 before this one, which are set further in the future or in a slightly different AU. This fic will follow Queen’s rise to fame and the band trying to raise their families in the 70s and 80s while fighting for sub rights.
> 
> This fic will mention both healthy and unhealthy Dom/sub relationships. Rape/sexual abuse of subs takes place in this universe, although this doesn’t take place between the band members- Brian and Freddie are actively trying to protect Roger and John from all the terrible things that can happen to subs. Please read all tags and warnings first. Please also note that this is an Alternate Universe which is very dark, so behaviours that are considered "healthy" or "unhealthy" in this verse are very different to our own universe, and the relationships in this fic don't reflect how healthy relationships work in our universe.
> 
> Be warned this fic will also contain mpreg which is a social norm in this ‘verse.
> 
> Warnings in the first chapter for forced public nudity and non-con (not between the main characters). 
> 
> As usual, comments are welcome and appreciated, and I’m very happy to chat or answer any questions about this particular universe.
> 
> Finally, thank you to everyone who has read the IBTYF fics so far and have asked questions, sent in headcanons and helped me to build this ‘verse.
> 
> Tumblr: @bohemian-rhapsody-slash
> 
> Disclaimer: Everything written here is completely fictional which includes fictional versions of the people mentioned. I don’t own anyone and this is a fictional story set in an alternate universe.

_March 1974_

Sometimes Freddie can hardly believe that this is his life. This humble little existence that’s made him happier than he ever thought he could be. 

_Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?_

Freddie bites his lip and taps his pencil against his notepad. _A bit shit_ , he thinks, but he can work on it later. 

He glances across the dressing room to where John and Roger are sprawled across the tatty sofa pushed up against the wall. The two subs are chatting quietly, looking very cosy in white fluffy dressing gowns with John’s bass slung across their laps. John is smiling at something the older sub is saying, and then his eyes shift to meet Freddie’s. Freddie winks at the younger man, his heart skipping a beat when John blushes and bites his lip in what has become one of Freddie’s favourites of his sub’s mannerisms. 

Freddie smiles back and lets his eyes drift to the collar around John’s neck. 

John has been his for nearly a year and a half now. 

What had started out as a claim of convenience to save their band has blossomed into so much more. There had been a time when Freddie had thought he’d ruined any chance of happiness with John, and yet here they are now, Dom and sub, as well as bandmates. A few years ago Freddie would never have pictured himself as the kind of Dom who would settle down at such a young age, and John isn’t the kind of sub he’d ever imagined himself claiming, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Their relationship may not have started out in the most traditional manner, but there’s no doubt that there’s now nothing but love between them. 

Freddie can’t help himself. He stands and saunters over to the subs, grinning as the younger men giggle. 

“Are you ready for tonight, gentlemen?” Freddie asks, wriggling his way between the two subs on the sofa to wrap an arm around each of them. 

“We’re in the middle of our pre-show sub time.” Roger pokes Freddie’s middle with a grin. “Strictly no Doms allowed.”

Freddie pouts at John. “Is it true, darling? You’d rather me go away?”

He noses at John’s hair, kissing along the sub’s jaw to capture his lips. 

“Never, Freddie,” John says softly. 

“No Doms allowed, eh?” Brian grins, emerging from the bathroom to pull Roger from his seat. “That’s a bloody shame, Rog, because I was just thinking about how gorgeous you look tonight.”

“Oi!” Freddie laughs when Brian’s hand sneaks up Roger’s dressing gown. “Cut that out! No hanky panky in the dressing room!”

Freddie always likes to pretend that he finds the sight of Brian and Roger being affectionate with each other off-putting, but the truth is it’s wonderful to see Brian and Roger so happy too. They’re perfect for each other, and it’s been lovely to watch them grow and support each other. Freddie’s always had a feeling that even if Brian hadn’t been forced to claim Roger, they would have ended up together anyway. 

It’s also been amazing to see how much their relationships have brought them together as a band. Queen has gone from strength to strength over the last two years. The success of their first album had finally given them the traction they needed, all thanks to the chance they took with claiming the subs in the band. 

In the beginning Freddie had been terrified it wouldn’t work out. He’d known that claiming John would either make or break him as a Dom. And there’d definitely been a period where he thought it would break him. He was convinced that he couldn’t be the Dom that John needed, and he very nearly ruined everything. But with support from Brian and Roger, he learned how to be a good Dom for his sub and is now in the most amazing relationship of his life. 

He has a _family_ now. 

They’re touring to promote their second album, and it’s like a dream. Every night Freddie goes out on stage and he comes alive. He’s more than just a Dom; he can be whatever he wants to be when he’s performing. He loves hearing the roar of the crowd as he sings his heart out and bares his soul, but most of all he loves glancing to his side and seeing John right there with his bass, smiling shyly with his collar dark against his pale skin. 

They’re interrupted by a knock on the door, and Freddie gives John a quick kiss before telling the person to enter. 

One of the stagehands, a Dom about Freddie’s age, pokes his head around the door. “Five minutes, gents. Everything’s set up and ready to go. Is there anything you need?”

“I don’t think so,” Brian says, heading over to grab the Red Special. “I think we’re ready.”

“Great. Well I’ll just wait outside so the subs can have a minute to undress, and then I’ll take you over to the stage.”

Freddie feels John still next to him. 

The atmosphere shifts to something a little more uncomfortable. 

“Undress?” Brian frowns. “We were told this is a venue where subs are allowed to wear clothing?”

The stagehand blinks. “I’m afraid you were told incorrectly. We have a strict no-clothing policy for submissives in public areas.”

“Nobody told us about this,” Freddie snaps, already feeling the rage boil inside him. “We’ve made it clear that Queen doesn’t perform in venues where subs aren’t allowed to wear clothes.”

They’ve been lucky so far. For this entire tour, they’ve managed to play in venues where subs can remain dressed. The success of their first album has given them the power to demand that they never play in venues which discriminate against subs. If their first album had flopped, they might not have had that luxury.

“Sorry, mate.” The stagehand shrugs. “I don’t make the rules. Your management company should have told you.”

“Well we’re not bloody playing then,” Freddie says firmly. 

“If you don’t play, you don’t get paid. You’ve got five minutes to either sort yourselves out or let me know if you’re throwing the towel in, so I can deal with the crowd of angry people who were expecting to see Queen tonight. Sorry.” He glances at Roger and John before closing the door behind him.

“Let’s get out of here,” Brian says immediately. “Screw the fee. I’ll explain to Foster and remind him that he needs to bloody tell us about this stuff.”

Brian is already hunting around for his guitar case, and Freddie is busy thinking about how he’s going to express his anger to Foster when they next see him. 

“Wait a minute,” John pipes up softly. “What about the audience? All the people who’ve come to see us play?”

There’s a moment of silence. 

“They’ll just have to be disappointed then,” Brian says. “We agreed we’d set an example. No venues that discriminate against subs.”

“But there’ll be lots of subs in the audience,” John points out. “There’ll be lots of people waiting out there who’ve had to take their clothes off to get in. And they’ll have done it because they want to see us play.”

Another moment of silence. 

Freddie gives his sub a proud smile. He knows that the last thing John will want to do is play naked. John hates any kind of public nudity. But John is always thinking of others before himself, especially their growing fan base, and his bravery never fails to impress Freddie, especially since they’ve had to navigate the horrors of the discriminatory music industry together. 

“What do you think, Rog?” John prompts gently. 

Roger has so far been silent, but he gives a heavy sigh. “Christ, I really don’t want to go out there naked.”

“Me neither,” John says quietly. 

The two subs look at each other, sadness in their eyes, and a moment of understanding seems to pass between them. 

“But you’re right, Deaky,” Roger says softly. “Loads of subs are having to stand out there naked right now. If they’ve done that just to come and watch us, then we should be able to do it so we can play to them. And we should give a big verbal _fuck you_ to this place when we go out there just so everyone is clear where we stand.”

“Are you sure about this?” Freddie asks gently. “There is absolutely no pressure on you to do this whatsoever. Brian and I will understand- we can walk out of here right now if that’s what you really want. I know that’s probably what I would do in your position.”

Roger reaches over Freddie to tangle his fingers with John’s and squeeze the younger sub’s hand. “I think we’ve made our decision.”

Freddie honestly doesn’t think he’s ever felt prouder to be a part of Queen. 

“You two are amazing,” Brian says with a smile, reaching over to caress the skin above Roger’s collar. “Absolutely amazing. I think we’ll have to sort out some kind of reward for you two for being so utterly perfect. Don’t you think, Fred?”

“Absolutely,” Freddie agrees, grinning at John. 

The Doms give their subs an encouraging kiss before stepping outside to give the younger men a moment to undress and prepare themselves. It reminds Freddie of the first time they went to Ray Foster’s office, when he and Brian waited nervously in the reception area for John and Roger to undress. He has the same queasiness in his stomach now as he did then.

He rubs a hand over his face tiredly and turns to the stagehand who’s been waiting for them. “Any chance we can perform undressed too? So our subs don’t have to do this alone.”

The stagehand shakes his head apologetically. “Sorry. We’re subject to public indecency laws for Doms here just like everywhere else.”

Brian laughs bitterly. “Don’t get me started on _public indecency laws_. It’s supposedly _indecent_ for a Dom to be naked in public, yet there are still some places where subs are _forced_ to be naked.”

He gives the stagehand a pointed look. 

When the dressing room door clicks open, Freddie resolves to keep his eyes fixed firmly above John and Roger’s necks.

The subs emerge from the dressing room wearing nothing but their collars, and they’re holding hands like they did that very first time they were forced to undress at the Foster Records office. Roger has a determined look on his face, while John is tapping nervously on the bass slung across his body with his other hand. 

“Well done, lads,” Brian praises gently. “We’re so proud of you already. There’s still a chance to back out now if you want to though. No questions asked. No punishments.”

John and Roger give each other another reassuring look.

“No,” Roger says firmly, squeezing John’s hand. “Let’s do this.”

*****

The show goes surprisingly well, considering it’s the first show where John and Roger have been forced to perform under these circumstances. 

Freddie can see John physically trembling just before they’re about to go on stage, his cheeks already flushed red with shame from their walk to the wings as he taps nervously on his bass. Freddie gently takes his sub’s hand in his own, squeezing as if he can somehow transfer some of his courage to John. 

When they walk onstage, the lights are bright enough that Freddie hopes the subs can’t see just how many people are out there. They’re hit by a deafening wall of cheers and applause, although Freddie doesn’t miss one or two wolf-whistles and jeers which are shouted at Roger and John. 

When he glances at the crowd though, he’s astounded by just how many subs are out there. Hundreds of naked bodies, some with collars and some without, all here tonight to see Queen. All willing to put up with this humiliation to watch a band of four misfits. 

It makes Freddie feel even prouder of John for insisting that they go through with this. 

Freddie goes to adjust his microphone, and quickly glances at Roger, smiling proudly when he sees the sub taking his seat behind the drums with his head held high. Roger has somehow always managed to pull off looking graceful and dignified no matter what state of undress he’s in. 

John is looking a little less confident. He doesn’t have a drum kit to hide behind. He keeps his eyes on his bass rather than looking out into the audience, and it’s clear how uncomfortable he is as he lets his hair hang over his face. His eyes momentarily meet Freddie’s though, and the Dom gives his sub a reassuring smile. Only when John gives a tiny smile back does Freddie pick up his microphone to address the crowd.

“Good evening, beautiful people!”

A roar from the crowd.

“It is our pleasure to be here tonight to entertain you gorgeous creatures. And how gorgeous you all most certainly are! But first of all, I just want to apologise to you all. Some of you may know that we usually refuse to play at venues that discriminate against subs.”

An even bigger roar. 

“But tonight we have let you down. We didn’t realise that tonight’s venue enforces a barbaric no-clothing policy for subs. We want to say sorry to all you lovely subs who have had to endure this, and we can promise you it won’t happen again. Thank you for coming here tonight, and for demonstrating your bravery much like our own beloved submissives.”

Freddie gestures at John, who smiles shyly as the crowd cheer for him, and then at Roger, who gives a quick drum roll. 

“And for all you Doms out there tonight, make sure you keep your sub brothers and sisters safe! They are our greatest treasure.”

Another round of deafening applause. 

John’s smile is actually a lot bigger now, although he still looks a little uneasy. 

“Alright,” Freddie cries into the microphone. “Let’s show them what we’re made of, bitches!”

*****

It ends up being their best performance of the tour. 

Roger and John don’t drop a single note despite being laid bare to the world. Freddie knows that if he had to sing in the buff, he’d most definitely be a little distracted and would probably forget a lyric or two. But the subs play every song perfectly- in fact they seem even more focussed on giving it their all. 

Their confidence seems to grow throughout the set, and Freddie can just sense the audience willing them on, cheering for John and Roger and sending them their good vibes. 

When they’ve finished their set to thunderous applause, Freddie can’t help but pull John in for a quick kiss. He loops an arm around his lover’s waist and pulls him close, ignoring the feeling of John’s bass pressing awkwardly into his stomach as he kisses the sub gently to the cheers of the crowd echoing throughout the auditorium. John smiles up at him shyly, before giving a little bow to the audience. 

It’s by far the best reaction they’ve had so far from an audience, and they end up doing three encores. Freddie has never felt such a high after a show before, and he’s absolutely buzzing. 

When they’ve all taken their bows and retreated to the wings, hot and sweaty after an intense show, Freddie pulls John in for a longer kiss. He tries to convey just how proud he is with that one kiss, just how much he loves his submissive. 

“Well done,” Freddie praises. “You were completely and utterly brilliant. My perfect sub.”

“You too, Rog,” Brian grins, peppering Roger’s face with kisses. “You were on amazing form tonight. You’ve definitely earned a reward. In fact...” He glances at Freddie. “I think a joint reward might even be in order?”

“Oh, I should think so,” Freddie chuckles, winking at John, who shyly lets his hair fall over his face. 

He knows how much his sub loves joint rewards with Roger. It’s a rare treat for both of them, but a sure sign that their Doms are particularly pleased with them. 

“Let’s get back to the dressing room so you two can put some clothes on.” Freddie tucks John’s hair behind his ear. “And then we’ll sort something nice out for you when we get back to the hotel.”

“Yes, Master,” John says happily, pecking Freddie on the lips.

*****

Freddie bites his lip and tries to focus on the magazine he’s reading. 

There’s a loud muffled moan from the room next door, and Freddie feels his heart beat a little faster. 

“How can you read at a time like this?” Brian sighs, tapping his foot impatiently from the other end of the sofa. “How can you concentrate on anything when you know what’s going on in there?”

He nods at the interconnecting door which leads to their second hotel room and, as if on cue, there’s a louder moan, and the sound of Roger giggling. 

“I’ve read the same paragraph about ten times,” Freddie says. “I _can’t_ concentrate. But we promised them some alone time before joining them so we’re just going to have to be patient.”

Freddie is almost starting to regret allowing the subs to have some fun alone together as part of their reward. But he knows how much they enjoy sub time, and he knows it will be to his and Brian’s advantage to have them warmed up and ready to go when they do go in there. 

They’d handed John and Roger a bottle of lube and promised them half an hour together in one of their two interconnecting hotel rooms. 

“Get yourselves ready,” Freddie had said as the subs’ eyes had widened with excitement. “But no fucking. Understand? You’ll get that later. Fingers and mouths are fine, but your cocks are not to go near each other’s arses.”

And now Freddie and Brian are sat here listening to John and Roger rolling around next door, fingering each other and doing God knows what else. Freddie’s cock twitches in his trousers when he hears a cry of pleasure from John.

“How long’s it been?” Freddie asks.

Brian checks his watch. “Twenty six minutes.”

“Long enough.”

Freddie stands and walks briskly to the connecting door, knocking firmly. 

The giggling on the other side suddenly ceases.

“We’re coming in in two minutes, lads,” Freddie says firmly. “Get yourselves into position.”

There’s another giggle, and then Freddie is pulling off his shirt and fumbling for their condoms and the spare bottle of lube. He tosses a condom packet to Brian, before fishing his cock out of his jeans, giving it a few quick strokes, and rolling a condom on. He squirts some lube on his erection before handing the bottle to Brian, spreading it generously over his cock.

Brian looks just as impatient as Freddie feels, nearly tripping over himself to get his trousers off, so once they’re both ready, Freddie takes a deep breath and opens the connecting door. 

He’s spent the last half an hour imagining what would be waiting for them on the other side, but he’s still not quite prepared for the sight that greets them. 

John and Roger are stood side by side naked, bent over the bed with their backsides facing the Doms. Their hands are on the bed in front of them to steady themselves, and Freddie doesn’t miss that their hands are joined. He can’t keep his eyes off the two shapely arses in front of him, in particular John’s.

“Did you have fun, lovelies?” Freddie asks, his breath hitching a little as he strokes his cock. His eyes drift down to the subs’ holes, open and wet- clear evidence of what they’ve been up to for the last half an hour.

“Yes, sir!” Roger answers eagerly, tossing his hair back to look at Brian and Freddie over his shoulder. 

“Yes, Master,” John says softly, also looking over his shoulder to give Freddie a smile. 

“It certainly looks like you’ve had fun,” Brian chuckles. “But it’s time for your real reward now. Freddie and I are so proud of how well you did tonight. And our audience utterly adored you for it.”

Freddie takes a step forward, and traces his fingers down John’s hip to rest against the curve of his arse. 

“I echo everything Brian has said. We’re so lucky to have such wonderful subs. Such thoughtful, brave, determined subs. You’re the reason that Queen has had any success whatsoever. No matter what the press may say.”

Freddie leans down to press a kiss to John’s back, and he can feel his sub trembling beneath him from the praise. 

“Do you two want to keep holding hands?” Brian asks as he takes his position behind Roger, caressing the younger man’s hips. “Or do you want to touch each other’s cocks?”

Roger opens his mouth to say something, but pauses when he sees John smiling shyly at him. “We want to hold hands.” He squeezes John’s hand firmly. 

“You won’t need to touch each other’s cocks,” Freddie chuckles, gripping John’s hips gently and lining up his erection with his sub’s entrance. “I can promise you that. Ready, Bri?”

“Ready, Freddie.”

“Three...two...one-“

Freddie slowly sinks into John’s tight heat, letting out a grunt just as John lets out a pleasured moan. He can see Brian nudging his way inside Roger at the same time, and once the Doms have both bottomed out, they slowly begin to thrust. 

Freddie knows he won’t last long, and he can already feel John’s thighs trembling. 

“Gorgeous creature,” Freddie praises, wrapping one arm around John’s waist to steady him, and using the other to brush the sub’s long hair away so he can lean down and kiss the back of John’s neck. 

John sighs Freddie’s name when the Dom’s lips touch his skin, and his sighs grow louder as Freddie trails kisses down his spine. 

“Love you,” Freddie says, kissing his way back up to John’s ear. “I love you, John.”

“I love you too, Freddie,” John chokes out, squeezing Roger’s hand. 

Next to them, Brian is already fucking Roger at a punishing pace, the blond’s pleasured moans filling the air. 

“Do you want to swap?” Freddie asks breathlessly. “Have Brian inside you?”

“No,” John says quickly. “Just want you.”

Despite occasionally giving their subs joint rewards like this, Freddie and Brian have never actually fucked each other’s subs before, but it’s something they’ve discussed with John and Roger. It’s not something Freddie has ever particularly desired for his own pleasure, but he’s always wondered if John might enjoy it. It’s apparent that the younger man isn’t quite ready for that tonight though, and Freddie is quite content with that.

Freddie straightens himself and starts to fuck his sub in time with Brian, and he’s quite proud of himself when Brian ends up coming first. 

He’s even more proud of himself when John lets out a cry and comes over the bedsheets, his cock untouched. Freddie gives a few more slow thrusts before he follows, and then collapses on top of John. He’s vaguely aware of Brian wanking Roger off next to them, but all he wants is to gather his sub in his arms and shower him with affection. 

He pulls out of John gently, kissing the younger man’s shoulder. “Alright?”

“Yes, Freddie,” John sighs happily. “Perfect.”

After they’ve all regained the feeling in their thighs and taken some time to recover, they take turns showering before settling into bed together. The bed isn’t quite big enough for four grown men, but John and Roger had batted their eyes sweetly and asked the Doms if they could all sleep together, just for tonight.

As Brian and Roger snore softly beside them, Freddie laces his fingers with John’s and kisses the sub’s hand. 

“Sometimes I worry you won’t want to put up with this anymore,” Freddie says quietly, pressing his lips to John’s knuckles. 

“Put up with what?” John yawns. 

“This. Queen. Us.”

_Me._

John blinks at him in the darkness, his eyes soft and warm. “Why would you worry about that?”

“You’ve had to put up with so much shit. Like tonight, having to go naked onstage.” Freddie swallows. “Having to be claimed by me just so you won’t get raped.”

Freddie drops his gaze. Even after nearly a year and a half, he still wonders whether John would be happier if he weren’t a part of Queen. If he’d never had to be claimed by Freddie just to get a recording contract where he wouldn’t be treated like a sex slave. 

“Silly Dom,” John says fondly, kissing Freddie’s lips. “I’ve never been happier. I love being a part of Queen, and I love being your sub. I love you. You’re the most amazing Dom, and I don’t know how many times I’ll have to say it to make you believe me. _I love you_.”

Freddie smiles, his chest warm. “Say it a few more times.”

And then they’re giggling and laughing as they kiss, but silence themselves when they get an elbow in the ribs from an irritated Roger.

*****

When they return home a week later, still buzzing from the success of the tour, Freddie suggests to Brian that they pay a visit to Foster Records. 

As much as they’ve enjoyed this tour and making these two albums, things need to change. They’d made their expectations clear to the label before they’d embarked on this tour- no venues or hotels that discriminate against subs. But they’d of course had issues with last week’s venue, and three of the hotels they’d stayed at had required subs to be naked and leashed in public areas. 

And while they’ve never been in this for the money, the royalties they’ve received from their albums and their fee for this tour have been abysmal. 

As much as Freddie loves living with all his bandmates, he’d love to be able to move out of this tiny cramped flat at some point in the future to somewhere he and John can make their home. Somewhere they can raise a family together one day. 

And as much as they hate it, the only person who can resolve this is Ray Foster. 

“Are you sure you don’t need us to come with you?” John asks as Freddie hunts around for his coat. “Would it be better if the whole band was there?”

“No, darling,” Freddie reassures him. “Brian and I will be fine. We’ll have Miami with us. We don’t want you and Rog to have to set foot in that building unnecessarily.”

John gives him a grateful look. Freddie knows how much his sub despises visiting Ray Foster; he knows how uncomfortable John and Roger are every time they have to set foot inside Foster’s offices. He’s seen the miserable looks on their faces enough times whenever they have to strip off before entering, and the fear in John’s eyes every time Foster leers at him. 

So the Doms leave John and Roger behind to enjoy some well-deserved sub time, while they reluctantly trudge over to Foster Records. 

Jim is already waiting for them in the reception area when they arrive, punctual as ever. 

They’d hired Jim as their lawyer a little over eight months ago, and he’s quite possibly the best thing that’s happened to the band since they formed. He’s a Dom who shares the same values as Freddie and Brian, which means they rarely have to argue with him. 

“I admire your balls,” Jim says to them as they’re led by an assistant up to Ray’s office. “But expect to walk away disappointed today. In a legal sense, there’s not much we can do here. And Ray Foster is not famous for changing his mind.”

They pass various Doms and naked subs in the corridor, and Freddie is very glad that John is back at home. 

He’s particularly glad John isn’t with them when they’re shown into Ray’s office, and they find the record executive fucking a young sub over his desk. 

“Ah, boys,” Ray says breathlessly when he sees them. “Good to see you. Do sit down. I won’t be a minute.”

Freddie avoids looking at the sub as he takes a seat on the sofa opposite Ray’s desk with Brian and Jim. He doesn’t recognise the sub, but he knows he’s most likely an unclaimed artist signed to the label, essentially forced to be Ray’s sex slave under the Submissive Clause in his contract. 

A clause which would have applied to John and Roger when Queen had been signed by the label, had they not been claimed by Freddie and Brian. Freddie shudders to think of what would have happened if they’d signed that contract with the label while John and Roger had still been unclaimed. 

When Ray gives a grunt and comes inside the sub, Freddie has to look away. That could easily have been John in that sub’s place, and he can feel his hatred for Ray bubbling inside his chest. 

Ray pulls out and composes himself, taking a quick sip of scotch from the glass on his desk. He gives the sub’s arse a firm smack. 

“Would you gentlemen care for a blowjob?” Ray asks casually, gesturing at the sub, who looks utterly exhausted. 

“No,” Jim says immediately. “Give the poor boy a rest, Ray.”

“Off you go then. You can go home for the day.” Ray gives the sub a dismissive slap on the arse, and the young man scrambles for the door. 

Freddie gives him a sympathetic gaze on his way out.

“No John and Roger today?” Ray asks as he settles himself behind his desk, adjusting his glasses. 

“They’re not feeling well today,” Brian lies. 

That’s code for _they don’t want to be forced to take off their clothes the minute they step inside this godforsaken building_. 

“A pity,” Ray says softly. “I was so looking forward to seeing them.”

That’s code for _I was so looking forward to seeing them naked and possibly copping a feel_. 

“This won’t take long,” Freddie says, wanting to get out of here as soon as possible. “We just want to talk about the tour.”

“The tour!” Ray says with a grin, clapping his hands together. “Queen’s first headlining UK tour! I hear it went very well. The press reviews were very favourable, and it’s certainly boosted sales of the album.”

“Yeah, it was good,” Brian says. “Except one of the venues didn’t allow subs to wear clothes. And we didn’t find that out until the night of the performance. I thought we made it clear that we didn’t want to perform in any venues that discriminate against subs.”

Ray scoffs. “You’re living in a fantasy world, boys. How many venues do you think there are in the UK that allow subs to run riot and do whatever the hell they want?”

“Not _do whatever the hell they want_ ,” Freddie spits out. “Just venues that are a safe space for subs and don’t make them surrender their clothes and dignity at the door.”

Ray chuckles. “Most venues want calm, not chaos. And the way you avoid chaos is by ensuring submissives know their place. You all know that there is an order to which things are done in this world. And most venues like to stick to that order. There are few that embrace the chaos and let subs act like they’re as good as Doms, and I managed to find you all the ones that do. And that’s only because you’ve managed to make me a reasonable amount of money. You’re lucky that you only had to perform at one venue where your subs actually had to behave like subs.”

Freddie has to resist the urge to throttle this man. 

Brian leans forward. “Leave Roger and John out of this. Look, you’ve just said that we’ve made you a reasonable amount of money, which is a bit of an understatement. If you want us to keep making you money, you need to send us to venues that are sub-friendly.”

“Listen, Brian,” Ray sighs. “I’ve been in this business a lot longer than you have, and I know what I’m doing. Because of the success of your albums, your next tour will probably be bigger than this one. Which means you’ll have no choice but to play more traditional venues. You might even end up doing a tour in the US, in which case you’ll definitely have no choice. You may not like it, but these are the venues that bring in the green. So stop publicly badmouthing them- you’re musicians they want to pay to perform, not bloody sub rights activists we’re sending in to shake things up.”

“There are other ways we can make money,” Freddie says firmly. “I guarantee you we can make money just by being a sub-inclusive band. We can repeatedly play sub-friendly venues in the hope that others will follow once we set an example. People will pay to come to our shows because they know it will be a safe space for subs.”

“You’re so naive,” Ray laughs, pouring himself another glass of scotch. “This is a strategy that will restrict you to a handful of venues and keep Queen from ever being able to sell internationally.”

“Then so be it,” says Brian. “We’d rather try and make it by sticking to our values than give up on everything we believe in just to be rich and famous.”

“Speaking of money,” Jim interrupts, opening his briefcase. “I wonder if now might be a good time to revisit the contract? As we’ve all noted, the two albums and the tour have been a financial success. Yet the band have only received a fraction of the profits as royalties. Now that they’re making the label more money, the band would like to revisit the terms in the contract concerning royalties. They would like a small increase to reflect the large share of the work they have done to bring in these profits.”

Ray examines them all for a moment, his expression unreadable. “I’m under no legal obligation to review the contract until it ends next year. You should know that, Jim.”

“You’re under no _legal_ obligation, Ray, but it might make sense from a business point of view to renegotiate a few minor clauses now. It might make Queen more likely to sign with you again next year.”

Ray snorts. “Alright then. I’ll tell you what. I’ll review the Royalties Clause in the contract, if you’re willing to review the Submissive Clause.”

Freddie’s heart freezes, and Brian stiffens beside him. 

Ray licks his lips. “All you need to do is allow me to amend that clause so that it applies to John and Roger, even though they’re claimed. And I’ll double your percentage of royalties.”

Freddie feels insulted that Ray thinks they’d even consider it. That he’d think Freddie and Brian would be willing to whore out John and Roger for a bit of extra cash. 

“Then I guess we have nothing more to discuss,” Brian says firmly, standing. “We’ll be taking a short break before we start work on the next album. We’ll be in touch then.”

“Don’t ever mention reviewing the Submissive Clause ever again,” Freddie adds as they head to the door. “That will always be non-negotiable.”

Jim gives the younger Doms a proud smile, before grinning at Ray as he follows them from the office. 

“One day you’ll listen to me,” Ray calls after them. “You’ll have to if you want Queen to get anywhere in this business.”

Freddie slams the door behind them, letting out a heavy sigh as he rubs a hand over his face. 

“Bugger.”

*****

When they get home later that afternoon, feeling a little dejected, they find John and Roger playing Scrabble together in the kitchen. 

“How did it go?” John asks with a sweet smile.

Freddie leans down to kiss his sub. “It could have gone better. Ray was an arsehole, as per usual.”

“No more money then?” Roger asks.

“Nope,” Brian sighs. “Sorry. We’re stuck in this dingy flat together for now.”

“Well that’s not so bad,” John says softly. “It’s quite cosy here with the four of us. Did he say why he wouldn’t consider reviewing our royalties?”

Freddie caresses his sub’s cheek. “It doesn’t matter. His price was too high.”

John means more to Freddie than any record deal ever will. That’s why John will never be on the table in any negotiation.

The price will always be too high.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as Queen is starting to gain popularity, John discovers something which will have an impact on the entire band, and change their lives forever...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everybody who read the first chapter and left such lovely comments! 
> 
> Note that mpreg is introduced in this chapter and will feature heavily from now on. Those who follow my blog will know that mpreg is a societal norm in the IBTYF verse. I don’t really go into the science of it too much here, but anyone can fall pregnant in this universe regardless of gender, although in the vast majority of cases it’s subs who fall pregnant as they tend to bottom during sex. If a Dom falls pregnant it’s generally seen as quite unusual and almost scandalous (but it does happen). 
> 
> Also note that terminology is used slightly differently in this verse. “Mother” is the title given to the carrier of the child (usually the sub) and “Father” is the title given to the other parent, regardless of gender. This is because far more emphasis is placed on a person’s status (i.e. whether they are a Dom or sub) than their gender in this universe so mother/father/mum/dad are not really gendered words in the IBTYF verse. The IBTYF verse revolves around gender far less than our own universe, and instead everything revolves around status.
> 
> Please feel free to ask any questions here or on my tumblr blog @bohemian-rhapsody-slash. Enjoy!

_November 1974_

John wants to be sick. 

Literally.

He’s already spent what’s felt like every morning of the last two weeks bent over the toilet emptying the contents of his stomach, and despite trying to blame it on a prolonged tummy bug, the little white stick balanced precariously on the edge of the sink says otherwise. 

John can feel the panic building in his chest as he races to the toilet and coughs up the toast he’d had for breakfast this morning. He feels dizzy and he’s struggling to breathe, and right now John feels so alone sitting on the bathroom floor that he wants to cry. He can see the white stick from the corner of his eye, bright under the dim bathroom lighting. 

A knock on the bathroom door interrupts him, and he lets out a final retching noise as Roger’s voice filters through. 

“Deaky? You alright in there, mate?”

“Yeah!” John calls back, his throat raw and his voice still hoarse. “I’m fine!”

“You don’t sound fine, Deaks.”

The concern in Roger’s voice is obvious, and John desperately doesn’t want his friend to call Freddie. Not right now. Not until he’s ready. 

“Don’t worry, Rog.” John flushes the toilet and closes the lid, before quickly grabbing the white stick and shoving it in his back pocket. He gargles some mouthwash, wipes his hands on his jeans, and opens the door. 

Worry is etched on Roger’s face as he takes in John’s pale skin and the sweat beading on his forehead. 

“It’s just a tummy bug, Rog,” John lies, forcing a smile. 

The white stick suddenly feels heavy in his back pocket. 

“You’ve had this tummy bug for nearly a fortnight.” Roger frowns and gently brushes back some hair that’s sticking to John’s face. “I think Freddie should take you to the doctor.”

“Oh no, there’s no need for that,” John says quickly. “I’m not dying. I think we’ve all had enough of doctors for now.”

He intends it to be a joke, but he quickly regrets it when he sees Roger’s face fall. Brian may be on the mend now, but his illness is still a fresh memory for Roger. Not so long ago Roger had been sobbing to John about Brian losing his arm or worse, and John hopes his best friend never has to go through that again. 

“Sorry, Rog,” John says softly, reaching out to take the older sub’s hand. “I didn’t mean-“

“I know.” Roger squeezes John’s hand with a pained smile. “I know.”

He still looks a bit upset though, and John momentarily forgets about his own problem as he remembers the sight of Roger sat by Brian’s bedside for hours on end. He’d been so miserable when the nurses had forced him to go home for the night that he’d immediately taken a seat on the floor at Freddie’s feet as soon as they got back to the flat. It’s one of the only times John has seen Roger so overwhelmed by his submissive urges. 

“Do you want to go for a walk if you’re feeling up to it?” Roger asks. “Maybe through the park? I feel like I could use some air and it might make you feel a bit better.”

John feels like a walk would really help him to clear his head, so he grabs his coat and dashes to the living room to give Freddie a quick kiss goodbye, leaving his Dom to work on a song idea he’d been mulling over all morning.

It’s a crisp November morning, and the trees are nearly all bare as they stroll through the park arm in arm. The sky is clear though and it does make John feel a little better to have the sun on his skin, even though it’s not particularly warm. 

They chat about their plans for Christmas and John tells Roger about how him and Freddie are thinking about going to Leicester for a few days to visit his mum and sister. It takes John’s mind off what happened in the bathroom this morning, and the fresh air does improve his mood. Talking to Roger always seems to have that effect; sometimes spending alone time with the older sub is exactly what John needs.

They’re interrupted by a couple of young female subs asking for autographs, something that is becoming more and more common since their recent stint of shows in the U.S. John smiles and tucks his hair behind his ear as he signs a napkin for one of them. 

“We saw you back in February,” one of the women says excitedly. “We think you’re brilliant. I’ve never seen a band with one sub before, let alone two.”

Although John never started playing music with the intention of becoming famous, he does get some satisfaction from subs recognising him in the street. He knows that Queen is one of the only bands with at least one sub, and most likely the only professional band in the UK with two. Freddie is always telling him that he’s a good sub role model- an example that subs have just as much talent as Doms, and someone for young sub musicians to look up to.

John isn’t so sure about that, but he does like the idea that maybe he can bring a bit of hope to other subs. He’s been stunned by the number of subs who have attended their concerts, and the people who stop him in the street are nearly always subs. He remembers what it was like to grow up thinking that a sub could never make it in the music business, but he hopes that Queen can show that’s not the case for future generations. 

One of the couple has a camera on them so they take some photos, before waving goodbye with a smile. 

“We’re actually bloody rock stars,” Roger chuckles as they continue walking down the path. “Who would have thought?”

“Yeah,” John says, but he’s distracted when they pass through the children’s park. 

There’s a sub about ten years older than him pushing a chubby baby on a swing, and it brings back the sense of panic and fear he’d felt earlier. He glances round the park at the tiny toddlers waddling around and the children laughing as they chase each other down the slide, and he wants to be sick again. 

“Deaks?” Roger reaches out to touch John’s arm. “You alright, mate?”

“I’m pregnant,” John blurts out, the panic building to a crescendo in his chest.

They stop in the middle of the path, John trembling slightly as Roger blinks at him a few times.

“I’m pregnant,” John says again, and it feels good to actually _say_ it, to get it off his chest. “I don’t know what to do. What the fuck do I do, Rog-“

Roger gently guides John to an empty bench, settling him down and wrapping an arm around his friend. 

“Slow down, John. Breathe. Breathe with me. That’s it, nice and easy. Now.” Roger tucks John’s hair behind his ear. “You’re pregnant?”

“Yeah.” John swallows, squeezing Roger’s hand gratefully when the older sub laces their fingers together. “What am I going to tell Freddie?”

“You’re going to tell Freddie that you’re going to have a baby together. That’s what you’re going to tell him.”

There’s a soft smile on Roger’s face, the optimism radiating from him. Another reason John loves Roger so much is that his positivity can rub off on almost anyone, even in dire situations. 

“What are we going to do about Queen?” John asks quietly, feeling himself tear up. “How are we going to afford this?”

“We’ll figure it out,” Roger says reassuringly, pulling John in for a hug. “Don’t worry, Deaks. You know Freddie will support you and so will Brian and I. We’ll find a way to make it work.”

“I’m too young to be a mum,” John mumbles miserably. “I’m only 23. I don’t know how to look after a baby.”

“Everyone feels like that at first, John. I know you’ll be an amazing mum. I can just tell. You’re calm and organised and patient.” Roger’s face softens. “Hey. How do you _feel_ about this?”

“I feel bloody terrified.”

“I mean, forget about the practical stuff. How do you feel about the fact that you’re going to have a baby? Are you happy or sad? Do you want to keep it?”

“Of course I want to keep it,” John says immediately. Doing anything else hasn’t even occurred to him. He rests a hand on his flat stomach. “I mean...it terrifies me, but I’ve always wanted a baby. Freddie and I have talked about it briefly, and we both agreed we want children. But we weren’t planning on having a family for a few more years. At least until we were a bit more financially stable.” John swallows, before giving a small smile. “But yes. I’m happy.”

“Good.” Roger grins, and pulls John into a hug, giving him a quick peck on the lips. “I’m happy for you. Congratulations.”

John’s smile grows wider. He _does_ feel happy. A little bit. But mostly terrified. 

“You should tell Freddie sooner rather than later,” Roger says gently. “I’m sure he’ll be happy too. And then we can work out the practicalities later.”

John smiles, and pulls Roger in for a hug. “Thanks, Rog.”

“No problem, mate. We’re family after all.”

John mulls over Roger’s words as they take a leisurely stroll back to the flat. This morning he’d felt so alone in the bathroom, wondering how the hell he was going to look after a baby and all the inconvenience it would bring the band, but Roger’s right. He’s not alone.

He has a family to help him. 

*****

While Roger had managed to talk some confidence into John in the park, John quickly feels that evaporate the minute they get home. 

They toe off their shoes and immediately head to the kitchen where they can hear the Doms chatting quietly, and John places a nervous hand on his stomach. He needs to do this before he chickens out. 

Freddie and Brian are sat at the kitchen table, going through some of the band’s latest finance statements. John had already been through them all last night and highlighted the particular areas he wanted the Doms to look at and agree.

Freddie smiles when he spots the subs, reaching out to pull John into his lap with one arm. 

“Hello, lovely,” Freddie says happily, giving his sub a quick peck on the lips. “Did you have a nice walk? Is your tummy feeling better?”

“It was nice to get some air,” John replies. “And I’m feeling a bit better, thanks.”

He gives Roger a nervous look, who shoots him a reassuring smile in return before grabbing Brian’s hand. 

“C’mon, Bri. I think it’s time you let me thrash you at Scrabble.”

“We’re in the middle of something, Rog,” Brian frowns, not looking up from his papers. “Maybe later.”

“C’mon,” Roger pleads, batting his eyes playfully. “Please? Deaky’s not feeling well and could use some alone time with Freddie. You can punish me for being cheeky later.”

Brian chuckles. “The only punishment you’ll be receiving later is the bitter taste of disappointment when _I_ thrash _you_ at Scrabble.”

He gives Roger a quick kiss before allowing the sub to drag him from the room, and John gives his best friend a grateful smile for buying him some alone time with Freddie. 

“Maybe we should go to the doctor,” Freddie says worriedly, caressing John’s cheek. “You’re still looking a bit poorly, darling.”

John bites his lip. “Yes, I think we should go to the doctor too. I think I know why I’ve been feeling poorly.”

Freddie squeezes his hand. “Tell me, darling.”

John swallows, and takes a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

A heavy silence fills the air. 

“What?” Freddie asks, his voice quiet, his expression unreadable. 

“I’m pregnant,” John says timidly. He suddenly wishes that Roger were here with him.

“Are you sure?” 

“Pretty sure, yes. I’ve been feeling like this for a few weeks, and I took a test this morning.”

Freddie bites his lip, looking thoughtful.

“I’m sorry,” John blurts out. 

Freddie blinks, before gently caressing John’s cheek. “Whatever are you sorry for you, sweetness? You’ve nothing to apologise for. This is wonderful news.”

John smiles shyly, relaxing a little bit. “Really? You’re not upset? Or worried?”

“Not at all,” Freddie smiles, pulling John close for a kiss. “We’ve spoken before about how we’d want children one day. I know it’s a bit earlier than we thought, but that doesn’t matter. It’s certainly a surprise, but a good surprise.”

“What about Queen though? We’re just starting to make it in this business, and Ray’s expecting us to produce another album next year and go on tour again.”

“We’ll make it work. We can start work on material now and record the next album after you’ve had the baby. We can work out the practicalities of touring when it comes to it- I’m sure we’ll be able to get some help with taking care of the baby while we’re performing.”

John glances at the papers in front of them on the table. “What about the money?”

“What do you mean?”

“How are we going to afford a baby, Freddie? We’re struggling as it is. Even with the albums and tours, our share of the royalties is pitiful. The baby’s going to need all sorts of things, and we can’t keep living in this tiny flat with Brian and Roger. There’s no way we can afford to buy a place of our own.”

He stares at the numbers on the page. They’re receiving just a fraction of the money that is going to Foster Records. It also still upsets him to see only Freddie and Brian’s names on the statement. Even though Freddie always makes sure that John gets his share, just as Brian does with Roger, it hurts to see the lack of acknowledgement in black and white. 

“We’ll find a way,” Freddie says firmly. “Our contract with Foster Records ends next year, and we’ll be in a position then to negotiate a better one with another label. Until then we’ll manage.”

John bites his lip. “We could ask Ray for a loan?”

“I don’t want to owe him anything.”

“An advance then. Just enough to help us get a deposit together to buy a house.”

Freddie frowns. “I’m not sure, darling. You know what a slimy bastard he is.”

“You’ve seen the numbers I’ve worked out. We’re definitely going to need more money from somewhere if we’re going to have a baby.”

Freddie cups John’s cheek. “We’ll find a way, love. For now, let’s just celebrate. We’re having a baby.”

John smiles as he meets Freddie’s eyes, forgetting for a moment about their impossible situation. He’s going to have a baby with the Dom he loves- a _family._

“We’re having a baby,” John confirms, and then they’re laughing as they kiss and Freddie caresses John’s stomach. 

*****

“I can’t believe you’ve knocked up our bass player,” is the first thing Brian says to Freddie when they tell him the news later that afternoon. 

He adds a hasty _congratulations_ when Roger elbows him in the ribs. 

“We’re very happy for you both,” Roger says with a smile, giving Freddie a kiss on the cheek. “Congratulations.”

“A baby, bloody hell,” Brian grins, pulling John in for a hug. “Sorry, I’m just a bit shocked. But we really are happy for you. And we’ll support you however we can.”

“Thanks, Bri,” John says softly. “We were surprised too. It’s a good surprise...but there’s lots to do.”

“We’ll need to push back the album,” Brian says. “I’m sure Deaky won’t want to be recording when he’s six months pregnant or touring with a newborn baby.”

“We’ll need to baby-proof the whole flat,” Roger adds, looking around. “This place is a death trap for a baby.”

John doesn’t have the heart to mention that he and Freddie are thinking about moving. He’ll break that to Roger another time. 

“We want to ask Foster for an advance,” Freddie says. “We’ll need to buy lots of stuff for the baby and we’re struggling as it is.”

“Good luck with that,” Roger raises an eyebrow. “As if that tight git will give us an advance.”

“ _I’m_ going to ask him,” John says firmly.

There’s a moment of silence, and the others stare at John as though he’s just announced he wants to try and fly to the moon. 

“Don’t you worry about that, darling,” Freddie says quickly. “I’ll take care of it.”

“C’mon, Fred. We all know the only chance we’ve got us if I ask him. We all have to go and see him next month anyway to talk about the next album. It’s a meeting we all have to be at. If I’m going to be there anyway, I may as well ask him.”

“Let’s not talk about Foster now,” Freddie says dismissively. “It’s time to celebrate our first Queen baby. Not the pub though, because John can’t drink.”

They end up going to the local cafe where they pool their spare change for ice cream. They talk about taking the baby to the park and taking the baby swimming in the hotel pools when they’re on tour, and John actually starts to get a bit excited. 

Thoughts of Foster are far away as Freddie kisses him with frozen lips and caresses his stomach again. 

*****

By the time they visit Foster Records a month later, the curve of John’s stomach has already become slightly noticeable. 

It could easily be passed off as a bit of normal winter weight gain, but John most definitely _feels_ pregnant. When he wakes up in the morning and looks in the mirror at his tiny bump on his skinny frame, he can’t help but smile. Especially when he glances at the ultrasound photo taped to the edge of the mirror.

But for the first time, he feels a bit self-conscious about his tiny bump. Today is the first time he’ll be naked in public since falling pregnant, and he’s anxious about Ray’s reaction. There’s a chance that Ray might not even notice as it’s been a while since they’ve seen each other, but if it is obvious, then John is hoping it will at least endear him to Ray and the Dom will grant their request for an advance. Most Doms are sympathetic to a pregnant sub. It’s part of their protective nature. 

But John still can’t help but spend the whole journey to Foster Records biting his nails as he runs through the worst case scenarios in his head. The others are unusually quiet too, and when they arrive the atmosphere becomes even more tense. 

“Take your time getting ready,” Freddie says with a tired smile as he and Brian take a seat in the reception area. “We’ll be here waiting for you.”

John nods and wraps his coat tighter around himself as he and Roger head towards the submissive changing room, glancing at the gold-plated sign nailed to the wall where the reception ends and the long corridor leading to offices and conference rooms begins.

_Submissives are not permitted to wear clothing beyond this point._

“It’ll be fine, Deaky,” Roger says reassuringly once they reach the relative quiet of the changing rooms. “You know he likes you. Maybe this will be to your advantage today.”

John just bites his lip as he undresses in silence. Stripping off before meetings with Ray has almost become second nature now, but it doesn’t matter how many times John does this- he always feels a bit sick beforehand. He gazes down at his stomach, and suddenly feels incredibly self-conscious again. 

“You look great.” Roger gives John a kiss on the cheek. “As always.”

They share awkward smiles with another sub over the other side of the room who is still undressing before leaving the changing room together. John immediately rests one hand on his stomach protectively as they enter the lobby. It’s December so it’s a bit colder than usual, and John feels himself shiver as passing Doms stare at him. 

But Freddie’s encouraging smile warms him a little when they locate their Doms. Freddie always has a way of making John feel safe, even when he’s at his most vulnerable.

“A massage and a bath tonight, I think,” Freddie says softly, kissing John’s cheek. “And Brian and I are going to cook dinner.”

The thought of a relaxing evening as a reward is enough to keep John going for now. 

They make the all-too familiar walk up to Ray’s office, passing Doms and naked subs as they go, and John dreams of a day when they won’t have to do this anymore. Maybe one day they’ll have enough influence to insist that their record label doesn’t treat them like shit.

One day. 

Ray is thankfully alone when they reach his office; it’s not unusual to find him mid-fuck with some poor sub who’s been signed to the label. 

His eyes light up when he sees John and Roger though. 

John glances at Freddie for courage as the Doms take a seat on the sofa opposite Ray’s desk, and he and Roger sink to the floor to sit at their Doms’ feet. 

“It’s been too long,” Ray grins, peering at the subs from behind his glasses. “It’s almost as if you’re avoiding me.”

His eyes drop to John’s stomach, but he doesn’t say anything. 

John can tell that Roger wants to say something but is biting his tongue to avoid getting them into trouble. 

“It’s been a busy few months, sir,” John says immediately. “Making the album and touring has been tiring work.”

“Mm.” Ray nods his head. “I’m sure it has. That’s what I pay you for though. And now it’s on to the next album. I’m hoping we can aim for a late spring or early summer release. I know that’s tight but I’m sure you boys can manage it over the winter-“

“Actually,” Freddie interrupts. “We wanted to talk to you about the timing of the next album.”

“Oh?” Ray raises an eyebrow, clearly displeased at being challenged. 

“Our circumstances have changed,” Freddie continues. “We need to push it back.”

“Push it back?” The annoyance in Ray’s voice is more prominent now. “Push it back until when?”

“We can start work on new material now, but we don’t want to start recording until the summer.”

“Well that’s bloody tough.” Ray shuffles some papers on his desk. “I’m paying for this album, so I decide the timeline, thank you very much. If you don’t start recording until the summer, that means we’ll probably have to wait a bloody year before we can release the damn thing. Time is money, and I’m not prepared to wait that long. Stop being lazy and go and make my album.”

“We’re not being lazy,” Brian says firmly. “Like Fred said, our circumstances have changed.”

“And what circumstances are these?” Ray asks impatiently with a sigh, looking up from his papers. 

Freddie strokes John’s hair gently. “John is expecting a baby.”

There’s a heavy silence. John can feel the tension growing dangerously, spreading across the room like tree roots. 

Ray finally looks down at John. “You’re pregnant?” 

John nods. “Yes, sir.”

“How far along?”

“About three months.”

“Shit!” Ray bangs his fist on the desk again, causing John to flinch. “Well that fucks everything up. This is why I hate working with subs. Just when they become useful and start to bring in the cash, they get knocked up.” He sighs. “How do I know this won’t happen again? What if I let you off with this album until the summer, and then Roger gets pregnant?”

“It won’t happen,” Brian says firmly. “Roger and I aren’t ready for a family.”

John doesn’t miss the way Roger’s face falls for just a moment, before he regains his composure.

Ray doesn’t look convinced though. 

“Please, sir,” John pipes up. “If we have a little longer to write material over the winter and spring, we’re more likely to have a high quality album in the summer. We’ll probably be able to record it quicker too. So it will only be a few months’ delay and it will probably sell better. We can spend more time doing promotion. If we released in the spring, we’d have to delay any tour because I’d be about to give birth.”

John blinks up at the Dom hopefully, forcing a smile, trying to make himself look flirtatious, desirable. He hates that Ray seems to have a strange obsession with him, but if there’s a way he can use that to get what they need, then he’ll do what he can. 

Luckily, it seems to work. 

Ray pauses, before sighing. “Sometimes I think I am too kind to you. Very well. We’ll delay until the summer.”

“Thank you, sir,” John says, widening his smile. “I really appreciate it.” 

Ray smiles back, and John decides to see how far he can push it.

“I’m really grateful for your support,” John adds softly. “In fact, I was wondering if I might ask for one more favour?”

“One more favour?” Ray chuckles. “My, Freddie, your submissive is certainly being bold today. Go ahead, John. As I’m in a generous mood.”

John swallows and gives his best flirtatious look. “I hope you’ll agree we’ve worked hard over the last few months, sir. I’ve been going through our finance statements and we’ve been particularly profitable for the last three quarters.”

“You’ve been going through the finance statements?” Ray chuckles. “Goodness me, you don’t find many subs who understand that side of things. Even I struggle going through those documents. But then again, you are very bright for a sub. Yes, it’s true, the band has been particularly profitable since the spring.”

“Well,” John continues, “I think I’m going to struggle to properly care for the baby with our current royalties. I know you told Freddie and Brian you wouldn’t increase our share of the royalties this year, but I was wondering if you might give us an advance? Just enough to keep us on our feet when the baby comes.”

He blinks up at Ray pleadingly, swallowing when he feels Freddie’s fingers in his hair again.

Ray’s expression is unreadable. “As much as I’d love to help a pregnant sub in need, I’m afraid an advance just isn’t possible, sweetheart. There’s no guarantee that after a few months’ break people won’t forget about Queen, and we won’t be seeing profit like we’re seeing now.”

John starts to panic. “But sir, I’ve actually calculated that we’ll still be at a similar level of profit even if we take a break. If the album sales hold steady for Christmas, and dip just a little in line with album sales for similar bands-“

“Enough!” Ray barks, clearly losing his patience. “I don’t need to be lectured by a sub about album profits! I don’t know which one of the Doms told you to say all this crap, but I’m not falling for it. You can have your break, but no more money.”

John slumps, defeated, and he feels Roger touch his knee gently. 

“I suppose we don’t have anything else to discuss then,” Ray says curtly, “as the album’s not even going to be recorded for another six or seven months.”

“No,” Freddie says. “I suppose we don’t.” 

“I still want a monthly progress report on the material you’re developing though. Now get out of my sight.”

John’s face is burning as he scrambles to stand, the weight of failure heavy on his shoulders. 

*****

That night, both John and Freddie struggle to sleep.

“We should just terminate the bloody contract,” Freddie sighs, stroking John’s hair in the dark.

“You know we can’t do that, Fred. We need the financial security. It’s _shit_ financial security, but it’s better than nothing. Especially with a baby on the way.”

Freddie’s hand sneaks under John’s t-shirt to caress the curve of his stomach. “I’ll take care of you, my love. I promise. I’ll always find a way.”

“I know you will, Freddie.” John kisses his Dom gently. 

As much as he’s terrified about having this baby and has no idea how he’s going to raise a child, he knows Freddie is right.

They’ll find a way.

Queen will always find a way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the birth of Freddie and John’s baby draws near, Roger starts to think about how life is going to change for them all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delayed chapter but hope you’re all ready for the first Queen baby! Thanks for your patience and enjoy :)

_May 1975_

Roger clucks his tongue as he looks around the room, his chest deflating a little as he takes in the cheerful paintwork and the plush carpet. 

It’s perfect. 

_Damn._

“What do you think?” John asks with a smile, cupping the swell of his bump as he examines the small fireplace. 

At eight months pregnant, John is struggling to bend down to get a proper look, and his movements are less than graceful, but he definitely has that pregnancy glow. He seems to have grown into his bump as the months have passed, and despite his awkward movements Roger has to admit that John looks more beautiful than ever.

Roger sighs and glances round the living room again. “The lighting’s not great. The window’s a little small.”

John blinks at the window. “Oh. I suppose it’s a _bit_ small, but I don’t think the lighting is too bad.”

“The road could be better,” Roger says immediately. “It seems like a dodgy area.”

John frowns, stroking his bump. “It’s one of the only areas we can afford. And that’s with help from Freddie’s parents. I think it seems quite nice. What do you think, Freddie?”

Freddie looks up from examining the carpet. “I don’t think we’ll get much better for this price. It has everything we need. I say let’s make an offer.”

John’s smile grows wider. “I agree. I think it will be perfect for when the baby comes; the bedroom at the front will be great for a nursery. And we can still move in a few years if we find we need more space.”

Roger quickly glances around the living room again, desperately trying to find something wrong with the place, _anything_ -

“The pipes are a bit loud,” Roger says, “don’t you think? Really creaky.”

Freddie rolls his eyes and folds his arms. “Honestly Rog, you’ve done nothing but complain since we got here. I thought having you along would help give us another opinion, but you’ve done nothing but bitch.”

Roger knows his role here is supposed to be to help his friends find somewhere to live that’s affordable and liveable, and this place meets both criteria. He’s been trailing around with Freddie and John over the last couple of weeks looking at house after house; Brian is away visiting a sick aunt, so he’d suggested that Roger help their friends with their property search. So far each house they’ve been to hasn’t been quite right (much to Roger’s relief) but this place seems to tick all the boxes. 

It’s perfect for Freddie and John’s situation; perfect for a young family buying their first home. But Roger can’t bring himself to recommend anything that might take John away from him. 

He’s a terrible friend. 

Roger shrugs casually, not looking at either of them. “I just want to help you guys find the perfect place to raise your little one.”

“Well we can’t afford to buy _perfect_ ,” Freddie snaps. “The baby’s due in four weeks and this place will do the job. I’m going to go and speak to the owners.”

He marches out of the room, leaving the two subs alone. 

John frowns again, one hand on his bump as he steps closer to his friend. “What’s the matter with you? You’ve been acting funny at every single viewing. You know Freddie’s probably going to tell Brian that you’ve been difficult all week, and you’ll end up being punished?”

Roger shrugs and shoves his hands in his pockets, avoiding his friend’s eyes. “I just want you to find the right home, Deaks.”

“This _is_ the right place. I appreciate you being a critical friend and wanting to help, Rog, I really do, but Freddie and I know what we need.”

John steps forward, attempting to wrap his arms around the older sub and giggling when his bump gets in the way. Roger sighs and hugs his friend close, smiling a little as the baby kicks between them. 

“See,” John says softly with a grin. “The baby likes this house too.”

He looks so happy in that moment that Roger knows he needs to put his pettiness aside. He wants John to be happy, even if it means Roger is the loser on this occasion.

Roger returns the smile weakly. “Yeah, I guess he does. I think you’ve found your new home then.”

John beams and squeezes Roger harder, the baby wriggling and squirming between them, and Roger can’t help but think about how much he’s going to miss this. How much he’s going to miss his best friend, how much he’s going to miss having another sub around.

He’s going to miss being able to have sub time whenever he wants. Sharing a bath with John, or cuddling under the covers, or kissing every curve of John to remind him how beautiful his pregnant body is. 

Roger buries his face in John’s shoulder so that the younger man won’t see the tears in his eyes. 

Things will never be the same again. 

*****

Freddie puts an offer on the house that afternoon.

The sellers accept the next morning.

Roger tries to be happy for his friends. He really does. But as they’re watching TV together the following evening, he can’t help but silently sulk as he imagines not being able to cuddle up with John in front of Doctor Who anymore. He imagines not having Freddie and John around all the time, and it makes him utterly miserable.

Brian comes home two days later, and the first thing Roger does is push him into an armchair so that he can sit at his Dom’s feet.

Roger lets out a sigh as he’s finally able to give in to his submissive urges, which have become increasingly stronger over the last few weeks. The thought of Freddie and John moving out has left him feeling surprisingly lonely and lethargic, and Brian’s Dominant energy is enough to relax him a little. 

At least Roger will always have Brian. 

“Hey,” Brian says softly, stroking his fingers through Roger’s hair. “Everything alright?”

Roger rests his head on his Dom’s knee. “Yes, Master.” 

“Freddie phoned yesterday.” Brian’s voice is gentle and a little cautious. “Told me his offer was accepted. Exciting eh?”

“Yes, Master,” Roger murmurs, his shoulders slumping as he tries not to sound completely miserable. 

“Oh, Rog. Come up here.” Brian gently nudges Roger, taking his hand and pulling the sub into his lap. 

Roger sighs, burying his face in Brian’s curls. His Dom can always sense when something’s wrong, and he’s grateful that Brian never makes him say it out loud. 

“I can tell you’re upset.” Brian kisses Roger’s knuckles. “And I think I know why. You’re don’t want Deaky to go, do you?”

Roger doesn’t answer. Maybe Brian will punish him for being a terrible friend.

“It’s okay, Rog. I understand. He’s your best friend. I know how close you are. It’s okay to be sad about him leaving. But you know you’ll still see him all the time. They’re not moving that far, and we’ll still all be working together.”

“I know,” Roger says sadly. “But it won’t be the same.”

“I’ll make sure you and John still get plenty of sub time. I’m sure he’d love your help and support with the baby.”

Roger smiles, feeling a little more positive. “I still can’t believe he’s going to be a mum in just a few weeks.”

“It’s come round quick,” Brian chuckles. “The baby is all Freddie talks about these days.”

“They’re going to be amazing parents.” Roger relaxes a little more in Brian’s arms. “It’ll be weird having a baby around though whenever we see them. Weird but nice.”

Brian hums thoughtfully. “To be honest, a part of me is glad they’re moving away. I mean, I love living with them, of course I do...but I wouldn’t be too thrilled about having a young baby around here all the time. I don’t get enough sleep as it is.”

Roger stiffens. “Well, maybe it’ll be good practice for when we have our own baby.” He tries to keep the hopefulness from his voice.

“I suppose,” Brian says. “At least that won’t be for a while.”

He makes it sound like a fate he’s doomed to face. 

It makes Roger feel even worse than he did before. 

When Brian slips away to unpack, Roger immediately heads to Freddie and John’s bedroom for some comfort from the only person who can give it. Freddie is out dealing with the solicitor who’s helping with the paperwork for the new house, but Roger finds John curled up in bed, resting a book atop his bump.

“Hey,” Roger says softly, his voice shaking a little, “you feeling okay?”

John smiles as he looks up from his book. “Oh, I’m fine. Freddie ordered me to stay in bed all day as a punishment for not taking my vitamins.”

“Those bloody vitamins,” Roger chuckles. “I swear Fred thinks the baby will have three heads unless you take them every day.” He bites his lip hesitantly. “Is it okay if I join you? Or will you get in trouble?”

John’s smile grows warmer as he pushes back the duvet to create a space for Roger. “I think that’s perfectly acceptable. Freddie didn’t say anything about no sub time.”

Roger grins and dives into the bed (carefully), pulling a giggling John into his arms. As they settle under the covers, they each place a hand on John’s bump and lace their fingers together. 

Roger kisses John’s hair, inhaling his scent, once again wondering what on Earth he’s going to do without his best friend in this flat.

But having John in his arms is enough for now. 

*****

Despite spending the final few weeks of John’s pregnancy planning every possible route to the hospital, and packing and re-packing an emergency overnight back, Freddie still inevitably panics in an overly-dramatic fashion when his sub goes into labour. 

He crashes into Brian and Roger’s bedroom at three in the morning with wild eyes, demanding that they get dressed and drive him and John to the hospital.

“Chop chop!” Freddie exclaims, clapping his hands together when he deems the younger men aren’t moving faster enough. “Time is of the essence! I’m not having my firstborn being brought into the world in this dingy flat because Roger can’t get his knickers on quickly enough.”

John is far more calm when Brian and Roger stumble into the living room bleary-eyed; he’s already dressed and is sat with both hands on his bump, closing his eyes and biting his lip when a contraction hits. 

“It’s alright, my love,” Freddie says a little too loudly, clearly trying not to show that he’s panicking. “We’ll get you to the hospital!”

Roger gives the younger sub a reassuring smile as he helps John up. “Your baby’s coming, Deaks. Not long from now you’ll finally get to meet him.”

John gives a shaky smile in return, before letting out a pained groan as another contraction hits. 

The drive to the hospital is thankfully short, but by the time they arrive John’s contractions are far more frequent and painful enough to make him cry out. Freddie looks more terrified than Roger has ever seen him before, and he can only hope that this is all over quickly. 

Brian and Roger aren’t allowed on the ward, so they settle in the waiting area instead after Freddie gives them one last panicked look.

“They’ll be fine,” Brian says firmly as he picks up a magazine to flick through. “Deaky is young and healthy so it should be a straightforward birth. Fred just needs to pull himself together.”

“He does have a tendency to over-react,” Roger chuckles. “I just hope it doesn’t put Deaky off too much. Giving birth is hard enough without a Dom shrieking in your ear. At least I know you’ll be a bit more calm when I have a baby.”

Brian nods slowly but doesn’t say anything, and Roger’s smile fades a little.

“You do want a family one day, don’t you?” Roger asks quietly, a little afraid of the answer. 

“Yes,” Brian replies softly, not looking up from his magazine. “One day. But we’re very young at the moment. We have other things to enjoy first.”

Roger nods, deciding now is not the time to probe further, satisfied with that response for the time being.

After just over two hours of waiting and reading every magazine on the table cover to cover, a nurse finally appears to tell them that John has been taken to the delivery room.

“He’s asked for you,” she says, fixing her gaze on Roger. “We allow one other sub in the room in addition to the Dom.”

Roger sits there a moment, shocked but thrilled that John wants him there, until he feels Brian nudge him.

“Go,” Brian chuckles. “It’s your time to shine.”

The nurse leads Roger to the delivery room, and the first thing he notices when he enters is the scent of _Dom_.

Apart from John, there is one other sub in the room; a young nurse who is washing his hands in the corner. The doctor stood at the bottom of the bed between John’s legs and the nurse who’d brought Roger in are both Doms, and of course Freddie is there too.

The scent is intoxicating. Overwhelming. Almost _distressing_.

No wonder John asked for Roger. 

John looks painfully exhausted, his hair stuck to his sweaty pale cheeks as he reaches for Roger.

“I’m here, Deaks,” Roger says softly, rushing to his friend’s bedside and gripping his hand tightly. 

Relief washes over the younger sub’s face, and Roger kisses his friend’s cheek. 

“You can do this, Deaky,” Roger says encouragingly. “Your baby is nearly here.”

Roger can’t help but marvel at the younger sub’s strength as he spends the next twenty minutes pushing a human being out of his body. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt prouder of John. It looks excruciating, and Roger isn’t entirely sure how much help he is, but if all John needs is the scent of another submissive nearby then he’s very happy to provide that. 

At one point Roger has to tell Freddie to calm down and take a step back to avoid stressing John out further, and he’s quite pleased when Freddie actually _listens_ to him. It’s the first time in his life that Roger has felt his submissive instincts are actually useful, and the Doms in the room seem happy to defer to him in this situation. 

Freddie and John’s son ends up being born a little before seven in the morning.

Roger can already tell that the baby is strong and healthy by the way he screams his lungs out, and by the faint Dom scent he gives off. 

“You did it, Deaks,” Roger laughs, squeezing John’s hand. “Your baby is here.”

John collapses back against the pillows, smiling at Freddie as their baby is passed to them.

Roger doesn’t think he’s ever felt happier for his friends. Seeing them together now as their own little family makes his heart ache a little, but for now Roger just wants to celebrate with them. 

It’s a new chapter for them all. 

*****

Andrew Henry Mercury integrates himself into their little family with relative ease, and with a set of lungs like his father. 

He also manages to have Roger wrapped around his little finger in a matter of days. His big brown eyes and chubby cheeks and tiny fingers and toes are enough to win Roger’s heart and send his submissive instincts into overdrive, which Brian seems to find incredibly amusing. 

It doesn’t take long for Roger to get used to the baby screaming day and night, and he doesn’t dare complain about it because every time he glances around at the piles of stacked cardboard boxes around the living room, he knows it won’t be an issue for much longer.

Thankfully the sellers of the Mercury family’s new house have run into a problem at their end of the chain, and as a result Freddie and John will be staying for a few more months and the boxes remain mercifully half-empty. 

It means that Roger has time to get lots of cuddles in with the baby, as well as making the most of having John around. 

This is especially true when they start work on the new album a little over a month after Andrew is born. One of Ray Foster’s better ideas is to send them off to a remote farm in the middle of nowhere to escape all distractions, and thus get the album recorded as quickly as possible. 

Roger will _never_ give Foster credit for anything, but it’s probably the most productive they’ve been, even with a newborn baby around. They’d written most of their material while John had been pregnant, which means they’re able to get most of it recorded fairly quickly, and they’re able to treat their time at the farm as a bit of a holiday. 

They spend most mornings locked up in the studio, which Roger doesn’t mind too much as he gets to hold Andrew when John is busy recording his sections. He bounces the baby in his lap and waves the stuffed teddy bear that he and Brian had bought him in front of his face, and Andrew seems mostly content to just gurgle and drool. 

“Look at mummy, Andy,” Roger whispers in the baby’s ear when they’re watching John playing his bass in the booth one morning. “He’s very good, isn’t he? Hopefully his riffs will cover up daddy’s off-key singing.”

“Oi!” Freddie laughs, leaning over to playfully swat Roger’s arm and to stroke Andy’s head. “Don’t fill my son’s head with lies about my singing prowess.”

John smiles from behind the glass as he finishes playing, blowing a kiss in Andy’s direction when Roger holds the baby up so they can see each other. 

Andy is surprisingly well-behaved throughout their recording sessions, and if anything they all seem to perform a lot better when he’s around. The four of them spend far less time arguing than they did during the production of their previous albums, probably because they spend most of their time passing Andy back and forth and focussing on looking after him during their recording sessions. His presence seems to make them _want_ to play better too; as if they somehow want to _impress_ him. 

Roger knows it’s ridiculous, because Andy can’t even lift his own head up let alone show any appreciation for their music, but he still feels as though he wants to give his best performance for their little one. And he can’t help but feel his heart bubble when they play back _Bohemian Rhapsody_ in full for the first time and Andy barely makes a noise in John’s arms, his eyes wide open as he quietly listens to the song. 

“He loves it,” Freddie proclaims proudly, tickling Andy’s chin gently with one finger. “Which means it’s going to be a hit.”

They spend their afternoons on the farm playing tennis and snooker and swimming, and Roger can’t help but smile as he watches Freddie and John quickly slip into their new roles as parents. It’s clear that they haven’t quite got the hang of everything perfectly yet; Freddie seems to spend nearly half an hour changing a nappy and John struggles to judge when to feed the baby and when to let him sleep. 

But parenthood suits them. They both look exhausted but also incredibly happy. This may not have been what they planned, but it seems as though it was meant to be. 

Brian and Roger both keep up their roles as the dutiful uncles, offering to keep an eye on Andy when Freddie and John need some rest. Brian doesn’t take quite as much of an interest in the baby as Roger does, but it’s encouraging to see the soft smile on Brian’s face as he watches Roger lift Andrew and fly him round the room like an airplane. It’s these moments that make Roger think it’s not unlikely that they may be in this situation themselves not so long from now. 

It makes Roger long for his own baby even more.

*****

Despite the fact that they successfully complete the album (only three weeks over schedule), Roger can’t help but feel an increasing sense of dread wash over him as the autumn approaches. He’s become so comfortable with life over the last few months that he can’t bear the thought of anything changing, but he knows that each day brings him one day closer to not living with John anymore.

And Andrew.

Roger has quickly become besotted with little Andy, and his heart breaks a little every time he thinks about the fact that he won’t just be able to grab the baby for a cuddle whenever he wants. He’s become accustomed to sitting in front of the telly with Andy in his lap while John is trying to catch up on some rest in the evenings, or feeding Andy his bottle first thing in the morning. 

No matter what Brian or anyone else says, things won’t be the same when they’re gone. 

Roger spends most of September and October distracting himself with doting on Andy. Brian and Freddie make trips back and forth to Foster Records to argue with Ray over releasing _Bohemian Rhapsody_ as a single, and Roger is content to let them get on with it; he enjoys spending his days taking Andy for walks in the park with John and pushing him on the swings. As much as he loves having the Doms around, Roger adores having alone time with John and the baby, and he wants to make the most of it while he can. 

Freddie and John manage to get a move-in date agreed for early December, which Roger is disappointed with. He had _hoped_ that maybe Andy might still be in the flat for his first Christmas. He’d imagined hanging a little stocking for the baby at the end of his cot, and dressing Andy in a selection of cute Christmas jumpers. He’d pictured Andy smiling at the lights around the flat and the tiny tree they would set up in the living room.

By the time November comes, Roger is dreading the winter so much that he’s thankful for the distractions that the month brings. They have several things to celebrate at least, even though Freddie and John and Andy are moving out soon. 

The success of the album, for one, ends up being greater than they anticipated. It gives them the leverage they need to approach another record label and negotiate a new contract now that their contract with Foster Records has finally come to an end. There’s still a submissive clause in their new arrangement; Roger and John still can’t be officially credited for songs they’ve written or paid royalties directly, but at least they don’t have to strip off for meetings and there isn’t the threat of having to sleep with any executives hanging over their heads. The name _Queen_ carries a little more weight these days, which means they can afford to be a bit more picky about who they sign with, and they can make more demands from their new label. They can be stricter about the kinds of venues they perform at and the interviews they grant. 

And at least it gets them away from Foster. 

Roger can’t help but sit there with a smug smile on his face when they meet with Foster for the last time to formally announce that they will not be renewing their contract. Never again will he have to set foot in this office; never again will he have to sit naked at Brian’s feet while Foster ogles him. He won’t have to be afraid any more. 

“Your luck will run out,” Ray says quietly as he hands Brian the paperwork. “Without my help and influence, Queen will never have another successful album. Especially if your subs keep getting pregnant. Mark my words.”

“We’ll be okay,” Freddie says firmly. “Somehow I think we’ll be absolutely fine without your backwards record label.”

“You’ll be back,” Ray says softly, his gaze settling on John. “Sooner or later.”

Being rid of Foster is definitely a reason to celebrate, and naturally it ends up coinciding with the third anniversary of their claimings. 

Which means Roger spends that night being thoroughly ploughed by Brian, with thoughts of Foster long forgotten. 

*****

When December finally comes, Roger’s melancholy returns. 

The boxes full of Freddie and John’s things slowly pile up until every trace of the couple has disappeared from the flat, as if they never even lived there. There are boxes full of Andy’s clothes and toys too, and it makes Roger’s heart sink to see the baby’s dismantled highchair and cot stacked by the door. 

The only solace is that the Doms agree to watch Andy on the Mercurys’ final night in the flat, so that Roger and John can have some much-needed sub time alone together. It’s actually the first time they’ve had any _sexy_ sub time together since Andy’s been born. 

“I haven’t quite shifted the baby weight,” John says nervously as he undresses. “I haven’t had much time for exercise with the album and looking after Andy-“

“You look beautiful,” Roger interrupts firmly before John can talk his body down any more. 

John _does_ look beautiful though; his thighs are a little thicker, his backside a little fuller, and there’s definitely some extra weight around his middle, but he looks absolutely gorgeous. He has a _motherly_ glow; he looks _happy_ , and Roger has never loved his friend more.

Roger makes it his mission to reassure John that he’s still as lovely as he’s ever been. He kisses every inch of the younger sub’s skin; he runs his tongue over the fading stretch marks on John’s tummy and inner thighs; he cups John’s bum and whispers praise in his ear as they thrust against each other, rubbing their cocks together at a gentle pace.

“I don’t know what I’ll do without you,” Roger says sadly, kissing John’s shoulder, then his neck. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“We’ll still see each other all the time,” John promises, taking Roger’s cock in his hand. “You can come over whenever you want and we can have nights like this.”

Despite John’s reassurances, there’s an element of finality about it. When they’ve finished and they lie naked and sweaty in each other’s arms, Roger knows things will never be the same. 

He’s always known that being part of a band made up of two couples would mean they’d all end up doing their own thing one day, living slightly more separate lives as they raise their own families, but he can’t help but worry that this is just the beginning of them drifting apart. 

He’d hoped that Queen would be his family for the rest of his life.

Maybe he was wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year after Andy’s birth, Brian is dealing with Roger’s broodiness...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another chapter :)
> 
> Once again thanks to everyone who has left such lovely comments. Please do come and say hi on tumblr!

_July 1976_

Brian shifts the large box in his hands, wheezing as he struggles to keep it slipping from his grip.

“Why did we have to buy such a big gift?” he grumbles as they make their way up the garden path. “I feel like my arms are about to fall off.”

“You’ve only had to carry it about ten feet from the car,” Roger laughs. “And we bought such a big gift because it’s his first birthday and we’re his favourite uncles.”

Brian sighs with relief when they reach the front door, setting the box on the ground carefully so that he doesn’t rip the colourful wrapping paper or displace the neat ribbon. He takes a moment to catch his breath as Roger rings the doorbell, admiring the roses that Freddie had planted in the flowerbeds a few months before. 

John answers the door a few seconds later with a tired smile on his face, and Andy on his hip.

“There he is!” Roger says excitedly, immediately leaning in to give Andy a kiss on the cheek. “Our big boy!”

Andy babbles excitedly, removing one chubby hand from his mouth to grab a fistful of Roger’s hair as he’s passed to the blond. A year ago Roger would have protested at getting saliva in his hair, but these days he’s much less bothered. He’s too preoccupied with planting kisses all over the boy’s face. 

“He’s very grabby now,” John says apologetically. “I’m thinking of getting mine cut because all he does is pull on it.”

“Where do you want me to put this?” Brian asks, grunting as he lifts the box again. 

“I don’t think we’ve got room for it in the house,” John jokes as Brian leans down to give him a hello kiss on the cheek. 

Brian ends up lugging it into the living room and settling it among the pile of presents in the corner. He gives a satisfied smile as he glances at the gifts and deduces that his and Roger’s is the largest. 

“Bloody hell,” Freddie remarks as he eyes up the package. “It looks like you’ve bought Andy his own house.”

“Actually we have,” Brian replies. “It’s a Wendy house.”

“Oh darlings, you shouldn’t have. He’ll absolutely love that though. Now that he’s walking a bit he loves getting himself into little spaces and he’s becoming obsessed with the cupboards.”

Andy does seem to love the picture on the box when John and Roger help him unwrap it, smiling and babbling happily, but then again he reacts in exactly the same way to all the presents as they’re unwrapped one by one. 

He seems to _really_ enjoy them all singing Happy Birthday to him though, and he gives a delighted laugh when everyone helps him blow out the single candle on his cake. 

Throughout the afternoon, Brian can’t help but notice how particularly subby Roger is behaving. The younger man is a lot quieter than usual, but he certainly seems happy, and Brian supposes it’s down to the fact that Roger is getting some quality time with Andy. Roger barely lets the baby out of his sight- he sets up all of Andy’s new toys and spends ages playing with him, and then he takes Andy for a walk around the garden outside. Brian has to admit that Roger is particularly good with kids, and he seems to have a special bond with Andy. 

“You and Rog will be having one soon, I suppose?” Freddie asks with a wink and a nudge.

Brian glances through the patio doors at Roger and John, who are leading Andy slowly round the garden, each of them holding his hand as he stumbles clumsily on his tiny legs. 

“Probably not for a while,” Brian says, fidgeting with his sleeve. “Things are just too busy right now. I know you and John make it work, but you two are natural parents. We’re just not quite ready.”

“I don’t think anyone is really ready, dear. And the timing is never perfect. But I sense Roger is getting broody.”

Brian knows Roger has been broody for a while. And while Brian wants a family with his submissive one day, he doesn’t feel like it’s something he can do at the moment. It scares him. The idea of being completely responsible for a helpless little human being _scares_ him, and he’s not sure how long it will take him to get over that fear. 

When Roger comes back inside and hands Brian the baby, he’s only more painfully aware of how _not_ ready he is right now. He feels awkward bouncing Andy in his lap, and he has no idea what to say to someone who can’t talk back.

He’s not ready to be a dad. 

He loves Andy, he really does, but he’s grateful when Roger takes the boy from him again. The other thing that Brian finds frightening is that for the first time ever, what Roger wants is so out of kilter with what Brian wants. They’ve usually always been so attuned and they’ve always strived for the same goals, but when it comes to _this_ , Brian knows that Roger is racing ahead and he can’t keep up. 

All these thoughts bubble away in his head all afternoon, and Brian ends up slipping into the kitchen to help John make tea while Roger and Freddie are playing with Andy, just to clear his head. John is always a calming presence, and Brian finds that the younger man always helps them all feel like they’re in control in a world full of chaos. 

“Thank you for the present,” John says softly as he pours hot water into mugs. “He’s been very spoiled.”

“It’s his first birthday,” Brian chuckles, feeling himself relax a little. “He deserves to be spoiled.”

He goes to start throwing away tea bags for John, but stops when he sees a small teddy bear in the bin, buried beneath other rubbish.

“John?” Brian frowns. “Should this be in here?”

John follows Brian’s gaze, stiffening when he sees the teddy bear. “Yeah. It’s fine. It’s just a present we don’t need.”

“Are you sure Andy won’t want it? It’s brand new.”

“He has enough teddy bears,” John says quickly, searching for the milk. “He doesn’t need this one.”

“Who’s it from?”

John sighs, suddenly looking very tired. “Who do you think it’s from?”

A few moments of silence pass between them as realisation dawns on Brian. The stuffed toy in the bin suddenly looks so much more sinister, and it feels as though it’s not enough to just see it buried at the bottom of a pile of rubbish- Brian wants to _burn_ it. 

Brian closes the bin lid, the anger already building inside him. “Did he come to the house?”

“No. He hasn’t been that bold. But he sent it here along with a card. And a letter addressed to me, which I’ve destroyed. I don’t want Freddie to see it.” John sniffs. “It would only make him do something he’ll regret.”

Brian doesn’t ask what was in the letter, and instead pulls John into a hug. 

“We don’t owe him anything anymore,” Brian says gently, kissing John’s hair. “If you have any more unwanted contact, tell me or Freddie, yeah?”

John nods silently. 

They’re interrupted when Andy shuffles into the kitchen on his bottom, and John’s face immediately brightens as he goes to pick up his son. 

The rest of the afternoon is very pleasant, and Brian ends up eating more cake than he thought was possible for a human being, the teddy bear in the bin at the back of his mind. He still has no idea how Roger manages to keep up the energy to play with Andy all day, and by the time they leave Brian feels exhausted, even though all he’s done is sit around. 

“I want one,” Roger says wistfully as they climb into the car. 

“You want what?” Brian asks, although he already knows the answer. 

“A baby.”

Brian remains silent as he starts the engine and drives off, feigning concentration. 

“Do _you_ still want one?” Roger asks quietly. 

Brian sighs, staring at the road ahead. “I do. Just not right now, Rog.”

He can’t keep having this argument. 

“Why not?” Roger’s voice is soft, the disappointment poorly concealed. 

“It’s not the right time. Our careers are just taking off. We spend all our time alternating between making albums and going on tour- that’s no life for a child.”

“Freddie and John manage it. There’s never going to be a right time with our careers. What if it never calms down? What if Queen becomes even more successful? When _will_ be the right time?”

Brian sighs again. “Roger. We’re not ready to be parents-“

“You don’t think I’d be a good mum,” Roger accuses, his voice wobbling. 

“I think you’d be a wonderful mum, Rog,” Brian says softly, truthfully. 

_But I don’t think I’d be a good dad._

They sit there in silence, the tension thick between them as raindrops scatter across the windshield. 

*****

The tension simmers over the coming weeks and into their next tour. 

Andy accompanies them on the road, and while Brian loves having him around, he knows the boy’s presence is a constant reminder for Roger that _this_ is something he can’t yet have. During soundchecks and shows, Andy is ably looked after by their crew, but at all other hours of the day Roger seems to be glued to the boy’s side. 

Most startlingly of all, Roger persistently turns down post-show drinks at the hotel bar in favour of spending more time with Andy. 

“I’m getting worried, Fred,” Brian says one night as he watches Roger disappear with John to put Andy to sleep upstairs. “It seems a bit unhealthy.”

“Nonsense,” Freddie chuckles, throwing back a shot of something that looks a little like tar. “People grow, and that’s what Roger’s doing. Aren’t you glad that Rog isn’t drinking himself stupid anymore and has cut back on smoking? The partying lifestyle just doesn’t do it for him anymore. He wants something else.”

Freddie’s words stay with Brian for the next few days. As he watches the other three pass Andy around backstage every night, he can’t help but wonder whether he’s being left behind. The others seem to have matured far faster than him, despite the fact he’s the second oldest, and it leaves him feeling a little glum. 

When he holds Andy, he _knows_ that he would love to hold his own baby one day. He’d love to hold a baby with Roger’s bright blue eyes and cheeky smile. He knows it’s not his _desire_ for children that’s the problem. It’s how _ready_ he feels to be a father. 

He finds himself becoming more withdrawn and irritable, and all this comes to a head after a show one evening. 

It’s been a long night and he’d been looking forward to spending some alone time with Roger, so Brian can’t help but feel a little annoyed when his sub immediately grabs Andy from one of their roadies and says he’s going to go up to Freddie and John’s room for a while. 

“Again?” Brian snaps. “You know, even though we play next to each other every night, I feel like I’ve barely seen you during this tour.”

Roger blinks at his Dom, frowning as an awkward silence descends on the group. The roadies quietly slip away, sensing that another infamous Queen argument is on the way. 

“What are you talking about?” Roger sighs, bouncing Andy on his hip. “We spend all day with each other.”

“Not at the moment we don’t. You’re more interested in talking to a one-year-old than you are to me.”

Freddie steps a little closer to Brian, and is about to say something before Roger cuts in. 

“Jesus, Brian. What’s wrong with me wanting to spend time with Andy? After the tour you and I can spend all the time together we want.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, Rog,” Brian says quietly, his mouth working faster than his brain. “It’s just making me think that I’m not enough for you.”

“Wow,” Roger rolls his eyes. “I can’t believe you’re making this about _you_.”

“Roger,” John says warningly. 

“This is about _us_ ,” Brian hisses. “And how you’re jeopardising our relationship.”

“Jeopardising our relationship? Oh, grow up, Brian.”

“And now you’re being disrespectful in public,” Brian snaps.

It comes out a little louder than intended, and Andy’s bottom lip wobbles before he bursts into tears. 

“Shh,” Roger says soothingly, kissing Andy’s head. “It’s alright, sweetheart.”

There are tears in his eyes though as he hands Andy carefully back to John, shooting Brian a disappointed look before heading in the direction of the lifts. 

Brian can only stand there in shocked silence as he watches Roger disappear. 

“You utter tit, Brian,” Freddie sighs. 

*****

When Brian makes it up to their hotel room, his mind clouded by regret and panic, he’s not surprised to find Roger already there waiting for him. 

He _is_ surprised to find Roger naked and on his knees though. 

The worst thing is that Roger is looking up at him with a defeated sadness in his eyes, his hands folded neatly in his nap. His shoulders are slumped, as if he’s resigned to his fate. It’s the most submissive Brian has seen Roger behave in a while. 

“Let’s get this over with then,” Roger says quietly.

Brian is a little confused at first, but then he notices that Roger has laid the cane out on the bed. The cane that Brian takes with them when they travel for improvised punishments. 

_He thinks he’s going to be punished._

“Oh, Rog,” Brian says softly. “That’s not what I wanted to do. I just wanted to talk to you.”

He needs to put this right. 

He holds out his hands to help Roger to his feet, and the sub looks a little sceptical when Brian gathers one of the sheets from the bed and wraps it around the younger man’s shoulders. Generally Roger is very good at knowing when he’s likely to be punished and when he isn’t, so this must be quite confusing for him. 

“I was rude to you in public,” Roger says quietly as they take a seat next to each other on the bed.

“I provoked it.” Brian gives a small smile, a peace offering, and reaches over to take his sub’s hand in his own. “I’m sorry, love. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. It’s been a long day and I was just frustrated.”

Roger bites his lip. “This isn’t about you and me not spending enough time together, is it? It’s about me wanting a baby.”

Brian pulls Roger close. “It’s not even really about that, Rog. There’s nothing wrong with you wanting a baby. It’s wonderful, in fact. And you know I want one too.”

“But you don’t think we’re ready,” Roger mumbles. 

“I think _you’re_ ready. I don’t doubt for a second that you’ll be an amazing mum. I’ve seen how you are with Andy.” Brian swallows. “I’m just worried about whether _I’m_ ready.”

A beat passes between them. 

Roger’s face softens. “You’d be a great dad, Bri. I know you will be. Nobody ever feels ready. Freddie and John certainly didn’t, and look at them.” 

Brian swallows. “The other thing I keep thinking about is our work. Queen has really taken off over the last few years, and who knows where it could go next. We’re doing something so important, Rog. Not just making music- we’re starting to make a real difference in this world. We have enough influence now to only play at venues that treat subs equally, and to only work with artists with good sub rights records, and people are actually _listening_ to us.”

“We can still do that when we have a family,” Roger says softly. “John is already a trailblazer as a working mum.”

Brian doesn’t say anything, and holds Roger closer.

“I’m not going to push you into having a baby before you’re ready, Brian.” Roger kisses his Dom’s jaw. “But I want you to know that I have faith in you. I have faith in _us_. There may never be a perfect time for this and we may never feel fully ready, but I know we can do this together. We’re a team. You know where I stand, Bri. So you just let me know when you feel like this is something you want to do. I’ll wait. And I’ll be ready for you.”

Brian smiles warmly, cupping his sub’s face in his hands before pulling him in for a kiss. 

Roger always has a way of making him feel braver than he really is. And he’s not quite brave enough for a baby yet, but as he breathes in Roger’s scent he knows he can get there with his sub’s help.

Slowly.

*****

Brian enjoys the second half of the tour a lot more. 

He feels as though the conversation with Roger has cleared the air between them, and for the first time in a while they’re on the same page. They understand each other. The tension that was building between them has been lifted, and they can focus on just enjoying themselves. 

Brian finds he doesn’t mind so much when Roger disappears to John and Freddie’s hotel room to play with Andy after their concerts. Especially not when Roger seems to make a conscious effort to return to his and Brian’s hotel room early.

Brian _really_ appreciates that. 

Towards the end of the tour Brian even starts coming up to John and Freddie’s room with Roger. He finds himself not feeling quite so awkward when Andy is handed to him, and something warm stirs in him when the boy blinks up at him with big brown eyes. Something a little like longing. 

When they get back to London, Brian is surprised to find himself feeling quite down when he kisses Andy goodbye before the two couples part ways. There’s an emptiness inside him when they get home, and for a few weeks he tries to just ignore it. It’s nice to have a break from touring, and things at home are just as lovely as they’ve always been. But there’s something _missing_. 

Brian loves cuddling up with Roger in the evenings to watch TV, and while he’s always enjoyed quiet evenings with just the two of them, he can’t help but wonder what it might be like if it _weren’t_ just the two of them. 

It’s a thought that invades his mind more and more often, and soon it’s all he can think about. He wonders if it’s because they’re on a break at the moment and Brian’s mind isn’t occupied by work, but he knows there’s something _deeper_ going on here. Every time he looks at Roger he knows something has changed. 

Which is why he presses himself up against Roger in bed one evening, and slips his hand beneath Roger’s t-shirt, stroking his sub’s flat tummy. 

“I’m ready,” Brian whispers, kissing Roger’s ear. 

Roger stiffens in Brian’s arms. “Ready for what?”

Brian knows Roger doesn’t need to ask that question, but he probably wants to hear the answer out loud.

“A baby,” Brian says gently. “A baby with you.”

Roger turns to face his Dom, his blue eyes shining in the dark. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I’m still scared about whether I can be a good dad, but I want to do this with you.”

“Really?” Roger’s voice is full of hope. “Because I can wait, Bri. I don’t want to pressure you-“

“You’re not pressuring me,” Brian says gently. “I want this. I want a family.”

And it’s the truth.

Brian knows it’s the truth as he kisses Roger and works his shorts down his thighs. He knows that he and Roger can do anything together. He _wants_ this. 

It’s the slowest, gentlest sex they’ve had in ages. Roger squeezes Brian’s hips with his thighs as the Dom thrusts into him, their noses brushing as they maintain eye contact. Being inside Roger without a condom is amazing- not just physically, but also on an emotional level. It’s symbolic of Roger’s trust in his Dom and his desire to take this step with Brian. 

“I love you,” Brian says breathlessly, kissing the skin above Roger’s collar when he’s deep inside his sub. “You’re mine and I love you.”

“Yeah,” Roger moans. “I’m yours. I love you, Master.”

It’s those words that send Brian over the edge, and he gives a few more deep thrusts while stroking Roger’s cock to bring him to orgasm. 

Brian moves to pull out, but Roger hooks a leg around him, keeping him in place. 

“Stay a little longer,” Roger says softly, his face flushed.

Brian grins and doesn’t move, staying inside his sub as they smile at each other in the dark, ready to begin their next adventure together.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger adapts to life as a new parent...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies again for the slight delay and as always thank you for your kindness and patience <3

_August 1977_

Despite the fact that Roger has pictured this moment a thousand times in his head, he’s not able to fully prepare himself for the typhoon of emotions that hits him square in the chest. 

His arse is throbbing, every muscle in his body is aching, and he looks like a bloody mess, but right now he’s not focusing on any of that. Right now all he can focus on is the tiny baby in his arms. 

The tiny baby who’s red and wrinkly with messy dark tufts of hair; the most beautiful thing Roger has ever seen. Roger can’t keep the smile off his face as he strokes his son’s head gently, inhaling the faint Dominant scent. He still can’t quite believe that he helped to create this gorgeous human being. 

“Can’t wait for him to open his eyes again,” Brian says softly from his place perched on the hospital bed beside his sub. “He’s definitely got your eyes, Rog.”

Roger smiles. “He has got gorgeous eyes. And I can just tell that in a few months his hair is gonna explode into a mane like yours.”

He’s perfect. Absolutely perfect. 

Roger still feels like he’s in a dream. He’s a mother. He has a _son_. He has a strong, healthy Dominant son. 

He finally has everything he’s wanted for so long. It’s scary; he knows he’s now completely responsible for another human being, but he’s so _excited_. He’s excited for the nappies and the feedings and the first steps and the family dinners. He can’t wait for the trips to the beach and the school runs and the teenage tantrums.

Brian reaches over to gently run one finger over the baby’s cheek.

Roger leans into his Dom, his chest warm. Despite Brian’s hesitance at becoming a father this time last year, the Dom has really embraced the idea of becoming a dad. Over the last few months Brian has been the one who’s really taken the initiative; he’s been the one who’s found them a house and decorated a nursery for the baby, and bought everything they could possibly need as new parents. He’s stayed up late with Roger every night talking about names and birth plans and future schools. 

The best thing about all this is that Roger knows they’re a family. Brian wants to be a dad as much as Roger wants to be a mum. They’re a team; they’re in this together. Any doubts or fears Roger has had have quickly disappeared knowing that he has the support of his loving Dom.

He’s never been happier. 

They must sit there for hours quietly cuddling while the baby sleeps, until they’re interrupted by their first visitors in the form of the Mercury family. 

John had actually been with them both for the birth at Roger’s request, but had left them alone with the baby for a while so that he could go and get Freddie and Andy. Roger had been incredibly grateful to have his friend there with him; as much as he loves Brian, it’s slightly more reassuring to also have a sub in the room who’s been through childbirth before.

Roger smiles when John’s eyes meet his as the younger sub ushers his family into the hospital room quietly. 

“Baby!” Andy squeals excitedly in Freddie’s arms as he squirms to get a better view. “Baby baby baby!”

“Yes, look at the baby,” Freddie says with a grin, gently setting Andy down on the bed beside Roger. “Isn’t he cute? Stay still now, Andy. The baby is very little so we need to be gentle with him.”

Andy stares at the baby in awe, reaching out to pat his head with one tiny hand. 

“Congratulations,” Freddie says softly, kissing Roger’s cheek, before giving Brian a hug. “I’m so happy for you both.”

John smiles as he lets Roger hand him the baby. “Does he have a name yet?”

Roger smiles back, glancing at Brian. “Yep. We managed to agree on the name while you were gone.”

Brian leans forward to kiss Roger gently, before smiling proudly at his friends. “Meet Liam Harold May.”

*****

Life as a new mum is just as hectic as John had said it would be. 

Roger estimates that he gets a grand total of five hours sleep in the first two weeks after they bring Liam home. Getting up every few hours to feed the baby is utterly exhausting, and he ends up phoning John apologetically at odd hours of the night to ask for his advice when Liam won’t stop crying. 

Brian is wonderfully supportive, even if he is a little grumpy from the lack of sleep. Roger knows how much his Dom values his sleep, so he really appreciates Brian helping out with the feeds and taking almost exclusive responsibility for the nappy changes.

Under any other circumstance, Roger would say that such a change in lifestyle would be horrific. But there’s an even stronger sense of camaraderie between him and Brian these days- they know they’re a team and this is the most challenging situation they’ve faced together since the claiming and signing the contract with Foster Records. Having a baby has brought them closer together, and despite being close to tears sometimes, Roger is indescribably happy.

It also helps that Brian takes nearly every spare opportunity they have to reward his sub. They don’t have much time for sexy rewards, but Roger appreciates the odd blowjob that his Dom offers him. He definitely appreciates breakfast in bed, and cuddles in front of the telly, and getting to spend some sub time with John while Brian looks after Liam.

Over the coming months, Roger feels like he really finds his feet as a mum, especially when they go back to work.

Roger had known that trying to record an album with a baby in the studio wouldn’t be easy, but he’s been desperate to get out of the house and get back to work. He loves his son but he’s missed making music and challenging himself mentally and physically. 

Their experiences with Andy in the studio at least means that the four of them are well prepared for keeping an eye on Liam. It’s a bit of a juggling act with them all rotating between recording and watching Andy and Liam, and luckily Miami is good-natured enough to watch the little ones when the band all need to be recording at the same time.

John had been particularly worried about having Andy in the studio, as trying to entertain a hyperactive toddler can be quite challenging while also trying to work. However, Andy has become so besotted with Liam over the last few months that he seems perfectly happy to sit quietly with the baby and cuddle him under supervision. Andy takes to bringing a different selection of his toys to the studio to show Liam, and Liam always seems to go quiet and blink up at the boy with big attentive eyes when they’re together.

It’s like they’re brothers already. 

******

The intensity of recording an album added with the neverending exhaustion of being a mum soon takes its toll on Roger. 

He finds himself taking naps in the studio that end up lasting hours, only to wake up to John’s concerned face looming over him. Roger makes mistakes constantly while they’re working, and in the end Brian and Freddie decide that it would be best if they all take a break for a few months. 

The Doms insist on taking the boys out more often so that Roger and John can have some more alone time together, which Roger _definitely_ doesn’t mind. They haven’t had the chance to have a huge amount of sub time since Liam’s been born, so Roger will take any chance he can get to be with John. 

He looks forward to their first planned afternoon of sub time for over a week, and as soon as Brian has wrestled the pushchair out the door with Liam in it, Roger is busy tidying the house and preparing it for sub time. He gets the bubble bath mixture and bath salts ready, finds some relaxing music, and lays out his small collection of sex toys neatly on the bed. 

He’s in the middle of fluffing his hair and checking his teeth when John arrives, and he can’t help but bounce excitedly to the front door. He freezes when he sees John standing outside though, raising his eyebrows with surprise.

“Oh my god, Deaky!” Roger blurts out. “Your _hair_!”

John gives a nervous smile. “You don’t like it?”

He reaches up to run his fingers through his hair. Gone are his long locks that used to cascade past his shoulders, replaced with a much shorter hairstyle. 

“No, I love it,” Roger says softly. “You look great. Really great, John. What brought this on?”

“Andy’s going through a grabby phase at the moment,” John chuckles. “I thought it would just be easier to cut it all off.” He takes a deep breath as Roger lets him in. “Especially since there’ll be another little one soon.”

Roger’s eyes widen. “Wait, what? _Another_ little one?”

He frowns until he sees John smiling at him shyly, and the younger sub lifts one hand to gently rest against his flat stomach.

Roger can feel excitement flood through his chest as realisation dawns on him. “Are you...Deaky, are you pregnant again?”

John beams. “Yes. Freddie wanted another one about six months after Andy was born. I managed to convince him to wait a couple of years and now here we are, expecting again.”

Roger pulls his friend into a gentle hug, happiness washing over him.

“Congratulations, Deaky! I’m so happy for you. Andy must be excited to be getting a little brother or sister.”

“We haven’t told him yet; it’s a bit too soon. But yes, I’m sure he’s going to be very happy. He’s always asking if we can take Liam home with us, so he’ll love having a baby around all the time.”

Roger is so excited about John’s news and it’s been so long since they’ve had sub time that they don’t even have a cup of tea first; they head straight upstairs and strip off before slipping into the bath together. John is clearly in a good mood because he sits between Roger’s legs without Roger even having to suggest it, and they end up trading wet kisses as they talk about how much they’re looking forward to having another baby in the Queen family.

It’s the most relaxed Roger has felt in ages. He loves Brian’s Dominant scent but it clouds his head sometimes, and it’s nice not to have to worry about seeing to Liam every ten minutes. He noses John’s short hair as they talk, inhaling his submissive scent as he feels all the stress and anxiety from the last few months fade away. 

John’s eyes light up when they make it to the bedroom and he sees the sex toys on the bed, and they take their time trying each and every one of them. 

Roger’s favourite has always been the double-ended dildo; the first toy they tried together. He knows that John loves it too, and he loves watching the pleasured expression on the younger sub’s face as they sit facing each other and work themselves on the toy. Gone is the slight awkwardness that existed when they first started doing this a few years ago; they’ve been through so much together now and seen each other laid bare in every possible way that they have nothing to be embarrassed about. Sub time is about making each other feel good, and the love and trust between them is strong enough now that they don’t need to hold back. 

Afterwards they lay naked and sweaty in each other’s arms, and Roger can’t help but reflect on how far they’ve come since the first time they did this. 

They’ve defied every societal norm to become successful sub rock stars, and despite an uncertain start with their Doms, they’re both in loving claims. But the thing Roger is most proud of (and he suspects John is too) is being a mother. It’s certainly the most challenging thing he’s ever done, but he wouldn’t change a thing.

It’s a wonderful thing to be able to change the world, but as Roger kisses John’s hair, he’s just thankful for everything that’s changed _his_ world.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two more children and one more tour...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for your patience with the slight delay folks :) Hope you’re still enjoying this now that we’re over half way through!

_June 1978_

Brian wouldn’t say that Freddie and John were _hoping_ that their second child would be a submissive, but he’d known they’d been talking about how lovely it would be to have a sub son or daughter. 

Throughout the final months of John’s pregnancy, the sub had spoken about how much he’d love to be able to teach his little boy or girl about the importance of sub time and how not to take nonsense from any Dom. And Freddie had playfully mentioned how no Dom would ever be good enough for any sub son or daughter of his. 

So when Brian comes to visit them in the hospital with Roger and Liam after the birth of their second child, he can’t help but feel overjoyed for his friends when the sweet sub scent of their baby hits him for the first time.

“A _sub_!” Roger whispers excitedly when they enter the room. “Bri, it’s a sub!”

And it seems that George Thomas Mercury has everyone wrapped around his little finger from day one. 

Freddie barely puts the baby down other than when John needs to feed him, excitedly gushing about how gorgeous George is and how proud he is to have another strong sub in the family. John just smiles warmly at the baby as he feeds the little one, mostly remaining quiet as he seems incredibly tired, but Brian can see the pride in John’s eyes; a gaze full of a mother’s love. 

Andy’s reaction to the new baby is perhaps the most amusing of all. For the very first time, the boy’s Dominant side starts to really show; he cuddles George almost protectively when he’s shown how to hold his little brother, and the adults all chuckle when Andy glares at Brian every time he gets near the baby. 

Andy seems to see Roger as less of a threat though, as he’s content enough to let the sub have a cuddle with George. Brian bounces Liam on his lap as he watches Roger hold George for the first time, and they smile when their eyes meet. 

They haven’t told anyone yet, because they don’t want to detract from the birth of Freddie and John’s second child. 

But in seven months time they’ll have something else to celebrate. 

*****

When Sophie is born, Brian feels as though _everything_ changes. 

Freddie had sagely told him that it would be different with the second child. He’d assured Brian that the joy would be just as mindblowingly overwhelming as the first time, but the fear wouldn’t be quite as stomach-churning.

And he’s right. 

When Liam had been born, Brian had been too anxious about fatherhood to really be able to enjoy every moment of being a parent. But things feel different this time. It’s not that Brian _isn’t_ worried about failing as a father, but his confidence has certainly grown. 

He has the experience now; he knows he can do the late nights and the nappy changes and deal with the tantrums. And although a part of him had been hoping for a sub to join their family, he immediately falls in love with his Dom daughter. 

Liam doesn’t seem too thrilled about the idea of having a baby sister, and in the first few weeks after the birth he seems particularly affronted by the fact that Roger is paying a little more attention to the baby. 

“Want mummy to play with me!” Liam whines impatiently one afternoon when Roger is in the middle of feeding Sophie, as has become common over the last few days.

“Mummy’s busy with the baby,” Brian says as gently as he can manage, and that’s clearly the wrong answer because Liam’s bottom lip quivers before he bursts into tears. 

“But I can play with you,” Brian says desperately, not wanting Liam’s tantrum to disturb the baby. 

Liam sniffs and rubs his eyes. “Want mummy though.”

As a compromise, Brian offers to take Liam to the park which at least stops him crying. He also phones Freddie to ask if he’d like to come out with Andy, which cheers Liam up even more. 

It ends up being quite cathartic actually; the park is quiet so Brian and Freddie sit on a bench together after spending half an hour pushing the boys on the swings, and they watch Andy chase a giggling Liam round the roundabout as they take a few minutes to rest. 

“It’s exhausting having two,” Brian sighs, stretching his arms. “I didn’t realise it would be this hard.”

“I was definitely overconfident when Andy was born,” Freddie chuckles. “I felt like I could handle another one. But you’re right, darling. It’s hard. I know poor John has found it very tiring.”

“Yeah, Rog too. I’m trying my best to support him and make sure he’s rewarded, but he’s just got no energy these days.”

“We’re due to go on tour later this year. We’ll need to have a serious think about how we manage everything. Maybe we should hire a couple of nannies and leave the kids at home.”

Brian bites his lip. “I think Rog would prefer it if the kids came with us. He’d be too distracted if they weren’t with him. Until they start school, I think we should keep bringing them.”

Brian doesn’t want to admit that he’d also struggle to be away from their children. He’s not sure _why_ he doesn’t want to admit it; Freddie certainly wouldn’t judge him for it, but this is the kind of emotion he’s been conditioned not to show as a Dom. 

Freddie nods. “I think you have a point there, darling. We might need to think about hiring some extra help on the road.”

Brian tries not to think about going back to work as he spends the rest of the afternoon chasing Liam through the park and helping his son swing on the monkey bars. He’s becoming rather accustomed to family life, and as much as he loves Queen, he’s not quite ready to exit this domestic bubble quite yet. 

When they get home that evening, Liam is completely shattered, which means he’s quite happy to sit in front of the telly quietly while Brian starts dinner. As he starts chopping carrots, Brian wonders if maybe it _is_ possible to hack this dad thing. Especially when Roger sidles up to him for a cuddle.

“Thank you for looking after Liam today,” Roger says softly, pushing himself onto his toes to kiss his Dom’s cheek. “And for making dinner.”

“My pleasure,” Brian replies with a smile. “I hope Sophie let you get some rest?”

“She did sleep for most of the afternoon. I had to feed her a few times. John phoned though so we had a long chat, which was nice.”

They have a pleasant family dinner, with Liam too tired to create any havoc, and although Brian himself is exhausted, he finds he has a spike of energy when Roger grinds up against him in bed later. 

Brian makes love to his sub lazily, suddenly feeling a lot more confident about his role as a father, as a Dom, and as the head of his family. 

*****

Going on tour with four young children does end up being incredibly difficult, but Brian finds himself more grateful than ever for their wonderfully patient crew.

In a way it’s quite nice; with the exceptions of daytime rehearsals and soundchecks and evening shows, it’s a bit like one long holiday for their young families. _Holiday_ might be an optimistic term; they don’t really get a lot of rest, despite having lots of people around to help with childcare, but it’s lovely to be able to spend time together without work getting in the way too much.

Andy and Liam are just about old enough to begin to appreciate being able to run around on a massive stage, although they still don’t fully understand what’s going on and why their parents assemble in front of thousands of people every night. 

The children even stay up to watch a couple of shows from backstage. George and Sophie mostly sleep through them (how _anyone_ could sleep through a rock concert, Brian has no idea), but Liam and Andy watch excitedly from the wings, and Brian actually finds that the presence of their youngest audience members encourages him to play better. 

But as much as Brian loves Queen and playing onstage with his sub and best friends every night, the thing he enjoys most about this particular tour is their rare days off. He enjoys playing with his children in the hotel pools, and rubbing sun lotion on their smooth pale skin before wrestling them into inflatable arm bands. He loves feeding them ice cream and building sand castles with them, and he finds that he enjoys the days where he gets to be a dad more than the days where he gets to be a rock star. 

All in all it’s a mostly successful tour, and one of the few where there’s been little drama or arguments between the four of them. 

That is, until Brian comes down to breakfast one morning when they’re in Paris with Liam on his hip, only to find Roger and John sitting at a table together frowning over an open newspaper. 

“Everything alright?” Brian asks, pulling a funny face at Sophie, who Roger has cradled close to his chest. 

“Yeah,” Roger mutters. “Just reading a lovely article about me and John.”

The sarcasm in his voice makes Brian reach for the paper, his heart sinking when he reads the headline.

_Queen Submissives Favour Rock Star Lifestyle Over Children_

Brian looks up, sadness washing over him when he sees the quiet indignant rage on Roger’s face and the sadness in John’s eyes. He forces himself to keep reading. 

_British rock band Queen have enjoyed another lucrative international tour, despite the band’s submissives recently giving birth._

_Roger May, 30, and John Mercury, 28, have both given birth in the last year and have two young children each. However this hasn’t stopped them from jetting off around their world to perform, leaving their children to be cared for by a series of nannies when they are onstage._

_This is an unprecedented move for submissives, which has left many childcare experts stunned._

_“It’s certainly a bold move for submissives to return to work so quickly when their children are so young,” says Dr Alan Dalton, an expert in child development at the University of South London. “Countless studies show the negative impacts that a mother’s absence can have on a child in the first few years of their life. By not providing the constant childcare for their children that they should, Roger and John are putting their children at real risk.”_

“Bullshit,” Brian says.

“How dare they,” Roger seethes. “How _dare_ they imply that just because we don’t want to sit at home all day we’re bad mothers-“

John is up and out of his seat at this point, tears in his eyes as he heads back towards his and Freddie’s room. 

Roger just sits there quietly fuming, bouncing Sophie gently in his lap, and Brian quickly decides that he and Freddie are going to have to do something about this. The double standards are of course glaringly obvious; Freddie and Brian are barely mentioned in this article.

If he’s honest, Brian had been expecting this kind of backlash a lot sooner. The idea that a sub can only be a good mother if they quit their job and stay at home is sadly still one that is very prevalent in society. What angers him about this though is that this kind of criticism is something so _personal_. If Roger or John had been publicly criticised about their performances onstage, they would have shrugged it off with a laugh. But being good mothers means so much to them, and he knows how painful it must be to read something like this.

Brian knows he’d feel the same if he were publicly criticised as a father. 

He reaches over to take Roger’s hand in his own, gently pressing it to his lips. There is no way on earth he’s going to allow his sub to think he’s anything but an incredible mum.

*****

It doesn’t seem to matter how much praise Brian and Freddie heap on their subs over the next few days, Roger and John can’t seem to forget about that news article. 

Brian tells Roger every day what a wonderful mum he is, and he knows Freddie does the same with John, but both subs seem a little quieter and more withdrawn than normal. Thankfully it doesn’t seem to affect their final performances onstage; Roger and John always demonstrate the height of professionalism and they don’t disappoint their fans. 

As a shared reward for the two subs at the end of the tour and an opportunity to take their minds off things, Brian and Freddie bribe Ratty and Crystal to babysit the kids for the night so that the four of them can spend some quality time alone together in Freddie and John’s hotel room. 

It’s been quite some time since they’ve given the subs a shared reward like this; living in different houses with children means that it’s no longer very practical, and they just never seem to have the time to do things like this together any more.

A night alone in a nice hotel suite is perfect though, and Brian can’t help but smile as he sips his beer and watches Roger fuck John gently. It’s been a long time since he’s had a show like this, and he’s determined to enjoy it as he’s not sure when they’ll be able to do this again. 

He places his beer bottle down and strokes his cock as he relaxes in his chair and his eyes fix on Roger’s hips, focussing on the sub’s strong thrusts. It’s a bit of a turn-on to see Roger like this; completely in control, the dominant partner. But then Brian’s eyes shift to John beneath Roger, and he feels the fire of arousal burn a little hotter in his belly. He’s always thought John beautiful, and it’s only times like these where he allows himself to really appreciate John’s beauty. Roger will always be the love of his life, but Brian loves John too, just as he knows Freddie loves Roger.

Roger pulls out of John with a grunt, giving the younger sub a kiss before winking at Freddie. “Would you like to take over, sir?”

Freddie chuckles from his seat beside the bed. “That’s a question I’d never usually say no to, but I was wondering if we might try something different tonight.”

The subs look intrigued, and Brian’s ears prick up. This isn’t something he and Freddie discussed in advance.

Freddie stands and walks over to the bed, reaching down to cup John’s face. “Would you like Brian to take over instead of me? And I can take care of Roger?”

_Oh._

John hesitates a moment, glancing at Brian shyly, who gives the sub an encouraging smile. 

“You can say no,” Freddie says gently. “You know I’d be more than happy to finish the job.”

John bites his lip, and there’s _want_ in his eyes when he meets Brian’s gaze. 

“What does Roger think?” John asks softly. 

Roger grins. “I’m up for it if you are, Deaks.”

Brian feels a spike of excitement at that; he’s secretly been hoping Roger would want to try this. 

“Okay,” John says with a shy smile. “Let’s try it.”

Freddie gives his sub a quick kiss. “Use the safeword if it gets too much, yes?”

“Yes, Master,” John replies. 

Brian doesn’t want to appear too eager, so he waits a moment and watches while Freddie tackles a giggling Roger to the bed, before making his way over and settling on the bed next to John. 

“Hello, lovely,” Brian says softly, caressing John’s cheek.

“Hello, sir,” John giggles, and then they’re kissing, slowly at first but picking up pace as their tongues duel-

Their cocks brush together as Brian pulls John closer, deepening the kiss and squeezing his backside. He trails his lips down John’s neck, which gives him a chance to glance over at Roger, who is already moaning with pleasure as Freddie fingers him open.

There’s a temporary bolt of jealousy that shoots through Brian, but it quickly disappears. He’s confident enough in Roger’s love for him that he knows it won’t bother him further, and he trusts Freddie with his sub, just as Brian knows Freddie trusts him with John. 

It is the ultimate testament to their relationships and their friendships that they can offer a reward like this to their subs. 

John fumbles in the nightstand, pressing a condom and some lube into Brian’s hand. “Please, sir.”

Brian smiles, leaning forward to kiss the tip of John’s nose. “Will you get me ready, beautiful?”

John seems very happy to do so, and eagerly rolls the condom on Brian’s erection before slathering his cock with lube.

John is already open from his earlier fucking, but that doesn’t stop Brian from slipping two fingers up his bum, and grinning when the sub sighs with pleasure. 

“Oh, _Brian_.” John’s face is flushed a deep red, and somehow hearing John say his name like this rather than call him _sir_ is an even bigger turn-on for Brian. “Your fingers. You’re a fucking God-“

Brian can feel his ego swelling; compliments from John are only given when they’re deserved. He fingers John for a few minutes, before he rolls on top of the sub, nudging the younger man’s legs apart and lining up his cock with John’s entrance.

As he gently nudges inside, Brian can’t help but feel his Dominant urges take over. There’s something incredibly erotic about getting to fuck another Dom’s sub, and the sight of Freddie’s collar around John’s neck gives Brian an extra thrill. 

“Okay?” Brian asks gently, a little breathlessly. “Are you alright, Deaky?”

John swallows and grips Brian’s hips with his thighs. “Yes, sir.”

“Good lad.” Brian kisses John’s neck as he thrusts, and when he glances up he catches a glimpse of Roger bouncing eagerly in Freddie’s lap. 

Brian inhales John’s submissive scent; it’s different to Roger’s but just as sweet, and he comes with the smell of John in his nostrils and the taste of John on his lips. 

John’s eyes are shining when they kiss, and Brian knows this evening was a much needed reminder for all of them that they will never be alone.

They’re a family, all four of them. And their pride and love for each other is something no shitty news article could ever destroy.

*****

Later on, once they’ve all cleaned up and settled down to sleep, Brian realises that on the rare occasions where they’ve all spent the night together previously, Brian has never had the chance to spoon John before. 

It’s not something he’s particularly _yearned_ for, but it makes a nice change, especially after being so intimate with John tonight. When the four have them have shared a bed before, John and Roger have always cuddled in the middle while Freddie and Brian spooned their respective subs. But tonight Freddie and Brian have wordlessly swapped places, and Brian has to say it’s rather a nice change. Cuddling Roger is one of his favourite things to do in the world of course, but Brian is glad that he’s able to show John how much he loves him for once. 

He glances over at where Freddie has an arm slung over Roger’s waist, and smiles at how peaceful they look sleeping together. Brian has always been reassured over Freddie’s love and protectiveness towards Roger, and he knows that Freddie would always take care of Roger if anything happened to Brian. Just as Brian would do the same for John if anything happened to Freddie.

John shifts in Brian’s arms, and he turns to blink up at the Dom sleepily. “You’re still awake.”

Brian smiles, shifting closer to wrap his arms around the sub and kiss him gently. “Yes. Sophie usually wakes up around this time of night, so I guess my body clock has readied me for a screaming child.”

John chuckles quietly. “George has thankfully passed that phase I think. But it’s still nice to get a whole night’s sleep in a nice hotel bed.”

Brian glances at Roger, before meeting John’s eyes again. “Are you feeling alright? After tonight?”

“Yes,” John says softly. “Are you?”

Brian nods happily. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Freddie and I just wanted to remind the two of you how much we love you and how proud we are of you. You’re amazing mothers and incredible sub role models. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, John.”

John rests his head on Brian’s chest, interlinking their fingers. “Thanks. It’s hard sometimes, when the rest of the world tells you you’re a terrible mother or a terrible sub. But Roger says the only people we should listen to are you and Freddie.”

Brian nods, caressing the younger man’s cheek, but there’s something that’s been on his mind for a few days now, ever since he read that article. 

Brian swallows, kissing John’s hair. “Can I ask you a question, Deaky?”

“Of course.”

“Do you ever hate me?”

There’s a moment of silence, and John blinks at Brian in the darkness. “What? No, of course not. Why would I hate you?”

Brian squeezes John gently. “Because I’m so... _privileged_. Me and Freddie both are. We have things you and Roger can never have.”

John frowns. “Well...yes. But I don’t _hate_ you for it. Neither does Roger. We know that’s just the way of the world.”

Brian sighs. “Recently I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Another One Bites The Dust.”

“What do you mean?”

“Who wrote that song?” Brian’s voice is soft as he brushes a stray piece of hair from John’s face. “The music and the lyrics. Who wrote them?”

The confusion on John’s face is clear. “I did.”

“And who _officially_ wrote the song? Who’s name is credited on the album?”

John’s face softens. “Yours.”

“Mine. Exactly.” Brian blinks at John sadly. “How can you not hate me for that?”

John smiles warmly, before leaning in for another kiss. “Because it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault that only Doms can be legally credited with writing songs. You do have privileges that Roger and I don’t, but you recognise them and use your privilege to help us. You may officially be credited as the writer for Another One Bites The Dust, but everyone knows I really wrote it, because you tell them at every single concert and in every single interview. That’s why I don’t hate you.” John’s voice softens. “I love you, Brian. I’m really glad I have not one but two amazing Doms in my life to look out for me.”

Brian grins, his chest bubbling. “I love you too, Deaky.”

They share another gentle kiss as Freddie and Roger snore softly behind them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions rise in the Hot Space studio...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another chapter! Hope you’re still enjoying this as we slowly make our way to the end of the fic...

_April 1981_

“Deaky? Hellooo? Earth to Deaky!”

John looks up from his notepad, momentarily forgetting where he is as he blinks at Roger’s amused grin. “What?”

Roger chuckles tiredly from his place in the bed, gently adjusting the blanket around the newborn baby in his arms. “I just asked you about three times whether you need to be getting home soon.”

John smiles and runs a hand through his hair tiredly. “Probably. No rush though. Freddie’s looking after the boys and said I could stay as long as I wanted.”

The truth is it’s nice to have a few hours out of the house; it’s given John some much-needed thinking time after a busy few weeks in which he’s barely had time to breathe. As much as he loves his family, it always leaves him feeling refreshed when he has half a day or so to himself. And, of course, it’s nice to spend time with Roger and his new baby.

“Want to hold him again before you go?” Roger asks softly, offering the baby to John.

John puts his notepad down and takes a seat on the bed next to Roger, shuffling back against the headboard and smiling as he opens his arms to take the baby. He inhales the soft submissive scent gently, pressing a kiss to the baby’s head as the little one lets out a tiny yawn.

“What have you been up to?” Roger asks, nodding curiously over at the discarded notepad. 

“Oh, just working on some ideas for the album.” John pulls a funny face at the baby. “I’ve already got a few tracks in mind.”

Roger gives him an impressed look. “Wow. That’s great. I’ve barely even thought about the new album.”

“Well you _have_ just given birth, Rog, so I think we’ll forgive you.”

“What sort of tracks are you thinking of?”

“I thought it might be fun to try some different stuff, more disco, funk...y’know. Just experiment. Freddie’s trying to encourage me to take more leadership with this album, and I think I have some good ideas.”

John is actually quite looking forward to returning to the studio. In the past he’s taken the approach of just turning up, doing what he’s told, and penning the occasional song to be included on the album. Years of watching everyone else argue amongst themselves had always turned John off wanting to get any more involved than that, but he wants to try something different, and Freddie’s gentle encouragement has led him to already start sketching out some ideas. Besides, he’s a different sub now to the sub he was ten years ago; his experience has taught him well, building up the confidence he’d lacked a decade ago.

“That’s great, Deaky,” Roger says softly. “I’ve always thought you were one of the stronger songwriters. I’m sure whatever you have in store for us will be great.”

John smiles at his friend’s approval, and they talk for a few minutes about how nice it will be to spend some more time in Munich, before they’re interrupted when the baby starts wailing in John’s arms. 

“Hungry again, eh?” Roger chuckles, taking his son from John while unbuttoning his pyjama top. 

John watches quietly as Roger feeds the baby, and he can’t help but feel a little jealous. He and Freddie have been trying for another baby for a few months now with no luck. He’s sure it’s nothing to worry about, and probably not great timing now that they’re off to Munich in a few months anyway. 

“Have you thought of a name for him yet?” John asks as the baby quietly suckles. 

“Brian said I could pick the name,” Roger says with a smile. “I thought of a few while I was pregnant, but I quite like James.”

“He looks like a James,” John agrees, stroking the baby’s chubby cheek with one finger as tiny blue eyes blink up at him.

*****

Travelling to Munich takes John’s mind off his own failed attempts to conceive another child at least, although he hates having to leave his boys behind in London. 

He had debated with Freddie whether they should bring their children with them, and they had come to the conclusion that it would be too disruptive given that Andy is in his first year at school and George is about to start playgroup. Instead they’d decided to leave the boys with Freddie’s parents, and a nanny on standby to help them, with the agreement that Freddie and John would return to London every few weeks to spend some time with the children. 

Brian and Roger had come to the same decision about their own children, with Roger’s sister volunteering to look after them, and John knows what a difficult decision it was for Roger to leave his young baby at home. But they all know that Munich is no place for the children, especially when their parents will be spending most of the time working. 

They all distract themselves from missing their families by throwing their all into this new album, and at first it goes really well. 

John still has his notepad of ideas tucked away, and for the first time ever he thinks _he’s_ the one who does the most talking in the studio. A lot of his suggestions take them in a different direction to anything they’ve ever done before, but for the most part the rest of the band seem willing to experiment. Freddie is of course the most openly supportive of John’s ideas, and actively encourages the others to follow John’s leadership. Roger is also supportive to a point too, although it’s clear that he doesn’t always agree with John’s attempts to move them a little further away from classic rock. 

Brian, on the other hand, seems a bit more resistant to some of John’s ideas. 

“I don’t know,” Brian says with a sigh one afternoon as he pushes his headphones down to rest around his neck, fingers tapping impatiently on the Red Special. “It’s all very... _disco_. It doesn’t sound like Queen.”

“That’s what you said about Another One Bites The Dust,” John reminds Brian before Freddie can intervene, feeling a little annoyed by the Dom’s lack of enthusiasm for trying something new. “And I do believe that song is the reason you were able to buy your new house, Brian.”

John can’t help but add in that last bit, feeling slightly satisfied when Brian frowns  
and Roger tries to stifle a laugh. It isn’t often that John dares to be this cheeky towards a Dom, but he’s glad that he and Freddie have clearly agreed limits for the studio, where things often end up getting a little tense anyway. 

“That was one song,” Brian says quietly. “This a whole bloody album. And a lot of it is not what people expect to hear from Queen!”

“That’s the point,” John says, raising his voice a little. “People shouldn’t _expect_ anything from Queen. People didn’t expect a band with two subs to have any success whatsoever, and yet here we are. And that’s because we decided to take a risk together.”

“A risk that most definitely paid off,” Freddie says firmly with a smile. “In more ways than one.”

Brian still doesn’t look convinced, so John decides he needs to pull out the big guns. 

He takes off his bass and carefully sets it aside, before approaching Brian and bowing his head, lowering his gaze in the most submissive posture possible. 

“Please, Brian,” John says softly. “I’m asking you to trust me on this. Just like I trust you.”

No Dom in their right mind would be able to overcome their Dominant urge to protect in response to this submissive display, and John smiles when he feels Brian’s warm hand on his arm.

“Okay, Deaky. I trust you.”

After that things seem to settle down a little; Brian isn’t as vocally supportive of John’s direction as Freddie or to some extent Roger, but he doesn’t outrightly disagree with anything either. Regardless of whether or not Brian likes the music they’re producing, John knows it must be hard for a Dom to be told what to do by a sub. Every fibre in Brian’s body must be fighting against taking instructions from John, and yet the Dom does make a real effort to do as he’s asked. 

They take a long break in the summer, which does them all good, so that they can spend some time with their children in the school holidays. For the first time in a long time, John is glad that there’s an extended period of time where he doesn’t have to see Brian or Roger; as much as he loves them, they can drive him up the wall in the studio. Instead he focuses on taking the boys on trips to the beach and the zoo and the park with Freddie, and they travel up to Leicester for a week to visit John’s mum and sister.

By the time they return to the studio in September, John is feeling completely refreshed and energised to continue work. 

But it only takes a few days for John to start missing his children again, and he knows the others must feel the same because the tension starts to build again. 

Brian’s antagonism slowly returns; it becomes apparent that he isn’t at all happy about the lack of guitar solos on this album so far, and makes it very clear that he feels as though he’s being sidelined. 

“Christ, Brian,” John sighs for what feels like the hundredth time. “Not every song needs a five minute guitar solo.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” Brian retorts, his tone laced with frustration. “What I’m saying is that it feels like I’m being edged out here-“

“ _You’re_ being edged out?” John is about ready to tear his hair out. “On one of the songs you’ve written there isn’t even any bass! And on Dancer you’ve insisted on playing the bass yourself. How do you think that makes _me_ feel-“

“Alright, darlings,” Freddie yells loudly. “I think we’d better call it a day.”

Roger is sitting behind his drums in silence; he’s been unusually quiet so far. John wishes the other sub would say _something_ , but he can understand the difficult position that Roger must be in at the moment, torn between his Dom and his best friend. 

That night, John tries to forget about the arguments they’ve all been having in the studio lately, but he just ends up ranting to Freddie as they get ready for bed before breaking down in tears. He’s in such a terrible mood that his submissive urges take over, and he ends up pushing Freddie into an armchair so that he can settle on the floor at his Dom’s feet. 

“Do you think this album will be a flop, Fred?” John sniffs as his Dom strokes his hair. “Do you agree with Brian that it’ll be a total disaster if we keep doing things my way?”

“Brian doesn’t think that, my love,” Freddie says softly. “He’s just worried about taking a risk. You know that Brian isn’t quite as willing as the rest of us to take risks.” He cups John’s chin and tilts the sub’s head so that their eyes meet. “And I love the album, John. I love that it’s got so much more of your stamp on it and that we’re trying something different. I want you to know that I’m not just supporting you because I’m your Dom; I genuinely think we’re making great music. And you’re completely right- we should try something that people aren’t expecting. That’s the essence of Queen.”

John smiles, affection for his Dom overwhelming him. “Thanks, Freddie. It means so much to me to have your support.” He blinks up at Freddie shyly. “It would be nice not to think about work for a little bit. Would you like to try tonight?”

Freddie’s face softens and he chuckles. “You _are_ keen for another baby, aren’t you, love? Good thing I am too. Come on then, clothes off and up on the bed. Let’s try and be loud enough to keep Brian and Roger up, hm?”

John just giggles as Freddie helps him up and takes him into his arms, the tensions of the day long forgotten as his body melts against his Dom’s.

*****

Over the next few days, things seem to go from bad to worse.

Arguments in the studio only seem to increase in frequency, and at first John tries to blame it on the fact that they’re all irritable because they’re homesick and missing their children. 

But really he knows the arguments are just the result of Brian being a bit of a prick. 

They’ve all had clashes before, but nothing like this. It’s clear that Brian _really_ isn’t happy about the direction they’re taking with this album, and he’s responding by turning into a perfectionist arsehole, micromanaging every detail of every track. In particular he becomes a bit of a dictator when it comes to producing the songs that he wrote, and the deliberate exclusion of some of the bass parts makes John wonder if this is Brian’s way of trying to tell them all exactly what he thinks of John’s role in the band. 

It leaves John wanting to scream at Brian until he’s blue in the face, and he ends up scribbling some lyrics down in his notepad one night as a way of venting some of his frustration. It’s actually incredibly cathartic, and he stays awake most of the night tweaking it and sketching out some notes while Freddie sleeps next to him. The next morning he does some solo jamming in the studio which helps him to iron out the creases, and by the end of the day he has a pretty decent song pulled together. 

Of course, he removes any references to Brian specifically before he presents it to the band. He’s actually pretty proud of it.

And it doesn’t sound half-bad at all with Freddie singing the lyrics while John plays acoustic guitar, although he can feel the disapproval radiating off Brian in waves. 

“You know, I rather like it, darling,” Freddie says with a smile when they finish. “Very powerful.”

John blushes in response to the praise, but then he catches Brian’s scowl. 

“You’re not actually suggesting putting this on the album?” Brian asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” John says firmly, “I am.”

_You stand so tall you don’t frighten me at all_

“Oh come on, John,” Brian snaps. “Cutting the guitar parts is one thing, but writing a song that’s clearly about me and intended to embarrass me is something else.”

“It’s not _clearly_ about you.” John can feel his temper taking over as he raises his voice. “This song could be about anyone, that’s the point. That’s why it should go on the album.”

The tension in the room is thick now, and while ten years ago an argument like this would have made John want to keep out of everyone’s way, he’s determined to stand up for himself. 

“Freddie.” Brian turns to the other Dom. “You’re not going to let him do this, are you? This is fucking disrespectful and you know it. If Rog did the same thing to you, you know I’d-“

“Disrespectful?” John blurts out, putting his guitar down to draw himself to his full height. “So you want to talk about respect now? You’ve done nothing but criticise me since we started recording this album and I’m fucking tired of it. Now I know it’s hard for you as a big strong Dom who likes to be in charge to be told what to do by a mere sub-“

“Deaky,” Freddie says warningly.

“-but that’s tough! When you let me join this band you told me that my status didn’t matter. That you wanted to hear my ideas. But now it’s clear that was all just a fucking lie-“

“ _Deaky_.” Freddie places a hand on John’s shoulder. 

“-and you’re such a _fraud_ , Brian! You like to pretend you’re a champion of sub rights, but when it comes to actually _doing_ stuff, to actually _listening_ to sub voices, you don’t care!”

Brian’s face is pale at this point as he steps into John’s personal space. “How fucking dare you. After all I’ve done to protect you. This has nothing to do with the fact that you’re a sub, John. This is to do with the fact that you’re not the strongest songwriter, and you’re running this album into the ground.”

“You’re threatened by me,” John says in a trembling voice. “You’re threatened because I actually have some good ideas and I want to try something fresh and new-“

“Oh fuck off, John!”

“-and the reason you’re micromanaging us all is because it’s the only thing you’re good at. You’re a shit Dom and a shit father and this is all you’ve got left.”

John is breathing heavily by the time he’s finished, feeling as though he’s just run a marathon. The other three are looking at him as though they don’t recognise him, and Brian looks too shocked to say anything. It all just came tumbling out of John’s mouth; he’s released the years of pent up frustration like a dam breaking from the force of a river. 

He’s glad he said most of it, but he regrets saying that last part.

“Right,” Freddie says, his voice laced with anger and something that sounds a little like disappointment. “That’s enough. John, that was uncalled for and you ignored me twice. Pack up your stuff- we’re going back to the hotel and we’ll talk about your punishment there. Brian, I suggest you take Roger back to your room and cool off for a few hours. I’ll call you tonight.”

John packs up his bass as noisily as possible, too furious to even worry about what his punishment might be. He just finds it so fucking unfair that he’ll be punished for this whereas Brian will get away with speaking to John like that scot-free.

He can’t even bring himself to look at Brian as he heads for the door, but he does fix his gaze on Roger.

“Thanks for standing up for me, Rog,” John chokes out sarcastically. “So much for sub solidarity.”

He storms out of the studio leaving Roger with a stunned expression on his face. 

*****

_Smack._

John shudders as Freddie’s hand hits the flesh of his arse again, leaving behind a stinging warmth.

“Say it again, John,” Freddie says firmly. “Tell me why you’re being punished.”

John swallows, staring at where his hands are braced against the wall in front of him. “Because I was disrespectful to Brian.”

_Smack._

“Disrespectful to him how?” Freddie whispers in his ear. 

“I said things that I didn’t mean to hurt him. I told him he was a bad Dom and a bad father, and that he didn’t care about subs.”

_Smack._

_Smack._

_Smack._

It doesn’t really hurt too badly; John has had worse punishments, but as usual, it’s the thought of disappointing his Dom that’s the greatest punishment. 

Freddie gently takes hold of John’s wrists to bring his hands away from the wall, before turning his sub in his arms so that they’re facing each other. 

“That’s enough for today,” Freddie says softly, brushing a tear from John’s cheekbone with a thumb. “Let’s get you into a nice warm bath, eh? You deserve something nice after taking the first part of your punishment so well.”

John frowns, his stomach dropping. “First part?”

“Well yes, darling. That was your private punishment. I’ll need to punish you in front of Brian as well, so that he knows I’ve taken this seriously and am disciplining you for it. We’re back in the studio the day after tomorrow, so you’ll apologise to Brian, and you’ll spend that recording session without any clothes on.”

John suddenly feels incredibly dizzy and wants to throw up. “Freddie...Master...please. You know how much I hate public nudity.”

“I know, darling,” Freddie says gently. “But it is a _punishment_ after all. And we did agree that we could use nudity as a punishment in front of Brian and Roger in the appropriate situation. As your Dom, I do believe this is the appropriate situation. You can always safeword if it gets too much, but I’d really like you to try it for me.”

John nods shakily, rubbing his eyes. The punishment is still over a day away, and yet he can already feel the humiliation burning through him.

“Good lad,” Freddie praises softly, caressing his sub’s cheek. “Now let’s get you into a nice hot bath.”

By the time John is sinking into the warm water, he’s calmed down a little, but the events of the day are still clouding his mind. He really misses his boys. 

Freddie is about to undress as well when there’s a knock at the door, and the Dom strokes John’s hair gently before going to answer it. 

John sinks lower into the bath, wishing now more than ever that he could see his sons. He could really do with a cuddle from Andy and George, and he really wishes he could just give them a goodnight kiss.

He allows himself to daydream until Freddie returns to the bathroom, followed by a sheepish looking Roger.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Freddie says softly in response to John’s confused expression.

Roger just gives John a shy smile once Freddie has left, nodding at the bath. “Room for one more?”

John gives an overly dramatic sigh, ignoring the tension crackling between them. “I suppose.”

Roger undresses quickly, seemingly afraid that John might change his mind, before heading to the opposite end of the bath to climb in. John shuffles forward though, leaving a gap behind him so that the older sub can climb in, and Roger smiles as he takes a seat at John’s end of the bath, before opening his legs so that John can slot in and rest against Roger’s chest.

Roger presses a kiss to John’s hair. “I’m so sorry about today. You were right. I should have backed you up.”

John sighs, interlinking their fingers. “No need to apologise, Rog. I just got a bit angry and took it out on you. I put you in a difficult position. I know it’s not exactly easy to outrightly disagree with your Dom.”

“Still, though. Us subs have to stick together. That’s what we’ve always said, isn’t it?”

John hums, tracing patterns on the arm Roger has looped around his waist. “It is. But sometimes it’s not as straightforward as it sounds.”

“Well, even I could see that Brian was being a bit arsey earlier. I’m going to talk to him later and tell him that I think he should apologise to you.” 

“Thanks, Rog. That means a lot. And I’m going to apologise to him about the thing I said about him being a shit Dom and a shit dad.”

“Yeah, that’s what he’s most upset about I think.”

John nods, but doesn’t say anything else. Instead he relaxes in Roger’s arms and takes in the older sub’s scent like he’s done so many times before. He’s never been able to stay mad at Roger; they’re too close and their relationship is too unique. Roger has a way of making John feel better even when Freddie can’t, and John values having a sub best friend more than anything.

He tries not to think about his upcoming punishment and the major damage control he’s got to do, and instead focusses on Roger’s warm arms. 

*****

When they return to the studio two days later, John can barely look his bandmates in the eye as he quietly undresses in the corner. 

He can feel them trying to avert their eyes as he pushes his underwear down his thighs, and John is reminded of why he hates this particular punishment so very much. 

He knows that Brian wasn’t aware that John was going to be punished in this way, because the Dom gives him a slightly sheepish look when John stands before them fully unclothed.

“Deaky,” Brian says weakly, trying to keep his eyes above John’s neck. “I’m sorry...I didn’t think-“

“No, sir,” John says, deliberately keeping his arms by his side and emphasising Brian’s title. “ _I_ need to apologise to _you_. I’m sorry about the way I spoke to you the other day. It was very disrespectful of me.” But then John’s tone softens, and he drops the bitterness. “I really am sorry for what I said about you as a Dom and as a father. I didn’t mean that. You’re a good Dom to Roger and an amazing dad. I just said those things in the heat of the moment.”

John lowers his eyes, and bows his head.

“It’s okay, Deaky,” Brian says gently. “I forgive you.”

“Wonderful,” Freddie says with a satisfied smile. “Now John, give Brian a kiss so we can move on and put this behind us.”

John glances up at Brian from beneath his lashes, and although he hesitates for a moment, the apologetic look on Brian’s face is enough to make John willing to go along with this. He shuffles into Brian’s personal space, before pushing himself onto his toes and pressing a chaste kiss to the Dom’s lips, holding on to Brian’s shoulders to keep his balance. Brian squeezes John’s bare hips gently, and they give each other a quick nod before parting. 

The rest of the recording session is oddly quiet; it’s the least argumentative any of them have ever been. John is painfully aware of his nakedness throughout the session, and as a result he just doesn’t have the energy to talk much. He does as he’s told; he plays the role of the perfect submissive.

Despite some really lovely aftercare from Freddie that evening in the form of cuddles in bed and room service, John finds himself becoming more despondent over the next few days. For the first time since joining Queen, John finds himself questioning his place in the band, and wondering if this is still what he really wants to do.

It doesn’t help that a letter arrives for him at the hotel reception a week later, with the Foster Records logo stamped across the top right hand corner. John is tempted to just throw it in the bin, but his curiosity gets the better of him. He keeps the letter in his back pocket, and then locks himself in the bathroom and tells Freddie he’s taking a bath before pulling it from the envelope and reading it.

He bites his lip as he scans the page. 

_My dearest John,_

_I hope you are well._

_Forgive me for writing out of the blue, but I saw you and the boys on the news the other day and it made me want to check in on you. It’s amazing to see you doing so well, and I have to say I’m very sad indeed that Queen is no longer signed to my label._

_I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss you in particular, John. You were always the most talented and such a clever, kind, caring sub. I always saw the potential in you and felt as though out of all of you, you would be the one who could make it as a solo artist._

_I hope Freddie and the boys are treating you well. I know what they can be like. I know how tensions can run high in bands with your level of success, and it can’t be easy for you as a sub to be heard in a band with two Doms._

_I just wanted to say that if you ever get too tired of it all, you’d be very welcome back at Foster Records. I’d be happy to sign you again as a solo artist, or I could link you up with some people as part of a group if you’d like. Your talent shouldn’t go to waste._

_Please do let me know if you’re interested in my offer. It would be lovely to hear from you again. Send my love to Freddie and the children._

_With love,_

_Ray Foster_

The letter only puts John in a worse mood. It couldn’t have come at a poorer time, and despite allowing himself to very briefly wonder about what it might be like to leave Queen, he quickly snaps out of it when he reminds himself who wrote this letter. A master manipulator who doesn’t value John for his musical talent at all. A man who wants nothing more than to enslave John. 

It makes him feel sick.

John phones Freddie’s parents that evening and spends nearly an hour talking to his children. Just hearing Andy and George’s voices again makes him feel a lot better, and he finds himself smiling again as he listens to Andy babbling happily about the story he wrote at school today and how his teacher loved it. 

When John passes the phone to Freddie, the Dom kisses his neck gently above his collar, and John wonders why he ever questioned where he belongs.

He tears the letter into pieces and tosses them in the bin.

*****

John is still thinking about the letter when he and Freddie arrive in the studio the next morning, and with the memory of yesterday’s punishment still fresh in his mind, he’s really not in the mood to be approached by Brian while he’s setting up his bass. 

“Hi, Deaky,” Brian says quietly. “Could I have a word? Somewhere private?”

As much as John doesn’t really want to be alone with Brian right now, he’s also not prepared to start another argument, so he allows the Dom to lead him to a quiet storage room down the corridor. It’s musty and full of junk, but John takes a seat on one of the old folding chairs that Brian gestures to. 

“Okay,” Brian says, running a hand through his hair. “Look. I just wanted to apologise to you for everything that’s happened since we started recording this album.”

John blinks. “Apologise?”

“Yeah.” Brian’s voice softens. “When I saw you being punished yesterday, I felt awful. I should’ve spoken to Fred and told him to drop it, but I was just so angry and a little part of me was pleased to see you like that. That was wrong, and I’m so so sorry. I know this hasn’t been one-sided; I’ve said and done some things to antagonise you, but _you_ were the one who was punished because you’re a sub, and that isn’t right. I’m going to speak to Freddie so he knows how I feel about you being punished, and I’m going to ask him to make sure you’re rewarded for standing up for your views. You’re right, John; I do like to think of myself as a champion of sub rights, and I’ve been doing a pretty shitty job lately. I should be encouraging you and trying to amplify your voice, and all I’ve done is try to silence you.”

Brian stares at the floor, and for a moment John isn’t quite sure what to say. 

“Oh,” John says. 

“I won’t micromanage anymore,” Brian promises softly. “And I think we should include Back Chat on the album.”

“Oh.” John blinks. “Really?”

“Yeah. It’s a good song. I like most of what you’ve written. Most, not everything.” Brian finally meets John’s eyes. “And you’re right about me feeling threatened by you.”

John almost laughs, because _that_ he hadn’t been expecting. “What?”

Brian offers a small smile. “Yeah. I mean, how could I not be? You’re an amazing musician and songwriter, on top of everything else you have to deal with. You handle the crap from the press with such grace, and you always keep your cool when Doms make comments to you or try and grab you at parties. You do all the odd jobs for the band that would usually be taken on by Doms; helping the roadies fix up the equipment and looking after all our finances...things Freddie or I wouldn’t have a clue about. And yet Freddie and I are the ones who get all the glory.” Brian laughs bitterly. “Ironically, I’ll be the one officially credited for writing Back Chat.”

The Dom looks so miserable that John can’t help but move his chair a little closer to Brian’s, so that he can reach out to cover the Dom’s hand with his own. 

“Thanks, Brian,” John says softly. “It means a lot to me to hear you acknowledge me like that. And your apology means a lot to me too. I know I gave you a bit of a half-arsed apology yesterday, but I really am sorry for what I said. Especially about you being a bad Dom and a bad father. That’s not true at all. Rog never stops talking about how lucky he is to have you as a Dom whenever we have sub time together. And you’re raising your children to hold the same values as you. I know Liam and Sophie will turn out to be good Doms like you.”

Brian smiles. “You think?

“I really do. Their father is a great champion of sub rights. An amazing Dom role model. You may not be my Dom but you’ve looked after me from the moment I joined the band. I’ve always felt safe with you.”

Brian’s smile grows warmer, and he squeezes John’s hand. “And you’re an amazing sub role model. You’re an incredible mum, John, and I know there’ll be plenty of our sub fans who will realise that it’s possible to raise children _and_ have a career because of you.”

John smiles back. “Well, we’ll see if that’s still true when I’m tearing my hair out after the next one comes along.”

Brian looks confused for a moment, before his eyes widen. “Are you...are you pregnant?”

“Not yet.” John blushes. “But Freddie and I are trying again.”

“That’s great, I’m really pleased for you.” Brian’s eyes soften. “So are we friends again then?”

John grins. “Yeah, friends again.”

They stand and give each other a hug, and Brian cups John’s face gently before leaning down and briefly pressing his lips to John’s. It’s chaste without any passion; a kiss that wouldn’t be unusual between two sub friends, but probably a bit beyond the normal affection shared between a Dom and a sub who are just friends. But then, Queen has never really been _normal_ , and John is just glad to feel the tension between them dissolve.

“I love you, John,” Brian says with more tenderness than John has ever heard him use for anyone other than Roger. “And I’ll always look after you.”

“I love you too, Brian,” John replies. “And I’ll look after you too.”

When they return to the studio hand in hand and looking a lot happier than when they left, Freddie and Roger both give them relieved smiles.

“Finally!” Freddie exclaims, clapping his hands together. “Now let’s finish this fucking album.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has some exciting news, but he also has some tough times ahead...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’re all well and staying safe folks! 
> 
> Warnings in this chapter for traumatic childbirth/descriptions of childbirth

_January 1983_

John glances at his reflection one more time in the bathroom mirror, fluffing his hair and checking his teeth. 

He’s still not _entirely_ sure about the babydoll nightie that Roger had gifted him for Christmas. Which is why it’s stayed in its box until tonight. 

John sighs and tugs it a little further down his thighs- not that it really hides anything. It’s probably the skimpiest piece of nightwear he’s ever worn, but he wants tonight to be memorable for Freddie. He wants it to be _special._

John smiles at himself as he gently lays a hand on flat stomach, imagining it swelling over the next few months. He wonders if he’ll still be able to fit into this nightie come spring. With one final fluff of his hair, he takes a deep breath and slips out of the en-suite bathroom. 

Freddie is lying in bed flicking through a magazine, but he looks up immediately as soon as John takes a seat on the mattress next to him, striking a pose that he hopes is sexy. 

“My my,” Freddie chuckles, immediately putting down his magazine. “What have we here?”

His gaze makes John shiver a little with anticipation. The hunger in the Dom’s eyes is clear, and John knows that no matter how much weight he gains, if Freddie keeps looking at him like that, he’ll always feel sexy. 

“Thought I’d give Roger’s Christmas gift a try,” John says with a smile, tracing the slight curve of Freddie’s bicep gently. 

“Well I’ll have to thank Roger for his very generous gift,” Freddie says firmly, running a hand up John’s thigh, brushing beneath the hem of his nightie. “Is there a special occasion I’m forgetting? Or were you just in the mood to wear something skimpy?”

“Well,” John, grins, straddling Freddie’s lap and enjoying the way his Dom’s eyes widen as the nightie rides up. “I actually have some exciting news-“

They’re interrupted by a soft knock on the door. 

“Shit,” Freddie sighs, squeezing John’s waist. “Don’t say anything and pretend we’re not here.”

“Mummy?” George calls, his tiny voice slightly muffled. “Are you in there? I need your help.”

“Pretend we’re asleep,” Freddie says huskily, kissing John’s neck. 

“He’ll only come in here, Fred,” John sighs, untangling himself from his Dom and pulling his nightie down his thighs, before grabbing his dressing gown to cover himself.

When he opens the door, he finds George standing outside timidly, with a small wet patch on the front of his pyjama bottoms. 

“Sorry,” George says sadly, his face red. “It happened again.”

John brings himself down to his knees so that he can kiss his son’s face and give him a cuddle. 

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” he says softly. “Don’t worry about it; I’m not cross. Let’s get you cleaned up, eh?”

John takes George’s tiny hand in his own to lead him back to his bedroom, where he finds his son’s bed in disarray, with another wet patch in the middle of the mattress. This is the third time this week this has happened, and while John isn’t bothered at all by it, he can tell that it’s already affecting his son’s confidence. 

Freddie pads in after them, and ruffles George’s hair before silently stripping the bed. John helps his son find some clean pyjamas to change into, and once Freddie has changed the sheets he helps George into bed.

“There we go,” Freddie says warmly. “Nice and clean.”

George giggles and smiles shyly at his parents. “Can I have a cuddle?”

While Freddie tickles their son, John slips out to head back to their bedroom so he can quickly change out of his nightie and into his regular pyjamas. When he returns, he joins in the tickle fight, and then settles next to his son when George’s eyes start to droop. 

John places a hand on his own flat stomach as he watches his son drift off to sleep while Freddie reads him a story. 

He can tell Freddie the big news another night. 

*****

John doesn’t actually get a chance to tell Freddie until a week later.

Andy comes down with a tummy bug, so John spends the next few days busy nursing him back to health. He barely has a minute to breathe let alone have a private conversation with his Dom. At night he’s absolutely exhausted, and he wants his announcement to be special, so he decides to keep quiet for the time being.

But that plan soon goes completely out the window. 

When they head to the studio a few days later, John is feeling a little unwell himself, and he wonders if he’s maybe caught Andy’s tummy bug. He’s been desperate to get out of the house and back to work, especially since Andy has recovered now, but John’s been feeling a little queasy and disoriented the last couple of days. 

He’s pretty sure he knows why.

“You alright, Deaky?” Roger asks with a concerned look on his face as he watches John weakly pull his bass strap over his head. “You look a bit pale, mate.”

John smiles tiredly. “I’m fine. Andy’s not been well and I haven’t had a lot of sleep.”

Brian also looks worried, but doesn’t say anything, and Freddie gives John’s wrist a reassuring squeeze before they start playing. 

Usually John finds himself feeling recharged once he starts playing his bass; music is the one thing that always helps him to de-stress and make him feel relaxed. But today he can barely focus; his vision is becoming blurry and every muscle in his body aches. He feels as though he just wants to go home and curl up on the sofa. He feels like shit.

It’s after about twenty minutes that John feels his fingers go numb, and the room starts to spin.

He’s vaguely aware of the others talking to him as he stops playing, but the last thing he remembers is Roger’s concerned face looming over him as he feels himself stumble and fall.

*****

When John regains consciousness, he finds he’s been carefully placed on the sofa in the corner of the studio.

Freddie is sat beside him with worried eyes, clinging to John’s hand tightly. 

“He’s awake!” Freddie says, and Brian and Roger immediately rush over. 

“Deaky!” Roger says worriedly, stroking John’s curls from his face. “Are you okay? You really gave us a fright, mate.”

“What happened?” John asks groggily, still feeling dizzy. 

“You fainted, darling,” Freddie says softly. “You passed out. Luckily Brian managed to catch you.”

John catches Brian’s eye, and gives him a thankful smile. But then John freezes when he remembers the reason he probably fainted. 

“I’m pregnant,” John blurts out.

Freddie’s face pales. “What?”

“I’m pregnant.” John can feel the panic growing as he thinks of the tiny embryo inside him. “I’m sorry, Freddie. I found out last week and I’ve been trying to find the perfect moment to tell you-“

“It’s alright, darling,” Freddie says reassuringly. “That’s wonderful news. Let’s get you to a doctor, eh? I’m sure everything’s absolutely fine, but better to be safe and get you checked out.”

“Congrats, Deaky,” Brian says with a warm smile. 

John smiles back, but he can’t help but worry as the boys help him up. His stomach is churning and he’s so dizzy, and he knows he won’t relax until he’s seen a doctor. 

He’s never passed out while pregnant before, and while he’s sure it’s probably nothing to worry about, there’s a part of him that can’t help but feel a little anxious. 

_It’s probably nothing_ , he tells himself. 

*****

It’s reassuring at least, to be told that the baby is fine. 

After an afternoon of being scanned and prodded and poked, John is satisfied that the baby is healthy, especially after Freddie interrogates the doctor for twenty minutes.

“Your sub just needs plenty of rest,” the doctor tells Freddie calmly. “He mustn’t over-exert himself.”

John is given a long list of things he should and shouldn’t do during pregnancy, and foods he should avoid. None of the items on the list are huge surprises, and John had been bracing himself to be a little less active than he usually would be, but he still finds it just a tiny bit patronising. 

“This is my third baby,” John huffs on the way home. “I _do_ know how to take care of myself during pregnancy.”

“I know, darling,” Freddie says. “But you’ve never fainted before. It was best to just get you checked out.”

John does as he’s told though, and spends the evening cuddled up with the boys watching Disney movies. Freddie insists on making dinner and putting the boys to bed, which John appreciates. He has been feeling more tired lately, and he wonders if maybe he should ask Freddie if they can push the album back a little so that he can rest more. 

Even though he has a more relaxing evening than usual, John doesn’t get a good night’s sleep. He ends up waking up three times in the night to throw up, and despite the doctor’s earlier reassurances, he can’t help but feel a little on edge. 

This pattern of sickness continues for another three weeks; at first just at night, before creeping into the morning, and then all day. 

John had been lucky when he was pregnant with Andy and George; he’d only suffered mild morning sickness. But this is _constant_. And it’s so severe that John can barely get out of bed some mornings. 

It gets to the point where Freddie arranges for a doctor to come to their home and examine John privately. 

“It’s nothing to worry about,” the doctor reassures John. “Nothing that will harm you or the baby. Just a case of hyperemesis gravidarum. Severe morning sickness.”

John can feel himself deflate though when he’s prescribed bed rest for the rest of his pregnancy. Apart from keeping hydrated and not moving too much, there isn’t much that can be done to put him out of his misery.

It doesn’t help that Freddie becomes a little over-protective. John appreciates his Dom preparing his meals and bringing him tea and entertaining the boys all day, but he hates that Freddie glares at him every time he so much as gets up to use the bathroom. 

Most of the time John feels too rotten to lift his head up anyway, but he hates feeling so helpless. He’s used to having his independence and now it’s been stripped from him. Freddie has to do _everything_ for him, and John can’t help but feel as though he’s letting Andy and George down. They’re not getting the attention from their mother that they usually would, and it breaks John’s heart. 

The weeks and months seem to pass achingly slow. Freddie sets up a TV and VHS player in the bedroom, and despite the fact that Queen is on a break, Freddie isn’t able to spend most of the day with John as he’s taking care of Andy and George.

Andy and George seem to thankfully be on their best behaviour, and John suspects his sons have had a firm talking to from their father. On the whole they’re not too noisy, and they’ll usually come into the bedroom once or twice a day to see John and give him a cuddle. 

“I don’t like the baby, mummy,” George says firmly one afternoon, glaring at John’s bump. “He’s making you sick.”

“It’s not the baby’s fault, sweetheart,” John says with a tired smile, stroking his son’s hair. “Don’t worry, I’ll be better soon.”

“We’ll take care of you, mummy,” Andy promises, wrapping his small arms around John. “We’ll help make you feel better.”

As much as John’s family cheers him up, it’s actually Roger who becomes John’s main source of support towards the end of his pregnancy. Even though Freddie and the children are around, John feels so lonely and isolated because none of them really understand what he’s going through. 

Although Roger has never suffered from morning sickness quite this bad, he does at least have the experience of being pregnant, and his mere presence lifts John’s spirits a little. His scent is soothing and non-threatening, and John is grateful when Roger offers to spend most days with him. They don’t do anything other than cuddle up in bed and watch TV together and talk quietly, but it does John a world of good to have so much sub time.

“Poor Deaky,” Roger says softly as he massages John’s back one afternoon. “I know you’re too poorly for it now, but Freddie will give you a nice big reward after you’ve had the baby.”

John can’t even think that far ahead though; he just wants to get through this. He just wants this pregnancy to end so that he can know for sure that his baby is safe, and he can be put out of his misery.

But the end seems a long way away. 

******

When John does eventually go into labour, he wishes he were dead. 

From the moment of his first contraction, he can tell that something is wrong. 

He’s never experienced pain like it. Neither of his previous pregnancies had been as excruciating as this, and he can feel himself panicking as Freddie helps him downstairs and into the car.

“Something’s wrong,” John gasps, clutching his bump as sweat pours down his forehead. “Something’s really wrong.”

He can tell that Freddie is trying to stay calm, and John can’t help but give Roger a worried look as the older sub settles Andy and George into his own car.

“Mummy’s going to be fine,” Roger reassures the children as they glance worriedly at John. “It’s just time for him to have the baby. But we’ll have lots of fun at my house tonight, yeah? Uncle Brian is buying sweets as we speak.”

Andy and George’s worried faces stick with John all the way to the hospital, and by the time he’s finally stripped down to a gown and in a bed, he’s in absolute agony. 

“The baby is in distress,” the doctor says as he feels John’s bump. “We’re going to induce you and get you to the delivery room.”

Suddenly John’s own pain takes a back seat in his mind, and all he can think about is his baby. 

If anything happens to the baby, he will never forgive himself. 

Everything seems to happen in a blur, and before John knows it, someone is screaming at him to _push_ , and Freddie’s terrified face is leaning over him, kissing his hair and promising everything will be alright. 

He grips his Dom’s hand as he pushes, praying to whoever will listen that his baby will be safe and healthy. But it’s _so_ painful, and he’s shattered, and soon he just becomes too exhausted- 

“We need to do an episiotomy,” the doctor says to the midwife behind him. “The baby is in distress and the mother is tired.”

“What does that mean?” Freddie demands, his face pale as he watches the midwife gather some instruments. “What’s happening? What’s going on?”

“Keep the father calm,” the doctor says to the midwife as he’s passed the instruments. “Or ask him to leave.”

The next ten minutes are the most traumatic of John’s life.

He’s vaguely aware of what’s going on and the sensations around him- the needle with the anaesthetic, the numbing in his nether regions, Freddie squeezing his hand, the scalpel- 

The pain and the horrible atmosphere in the room just melts away though, because right now nothing is more important than the baby, _nothing_ -

He feels close to passing out when the doctor finally lifts the baby from between his legs, and he’s only relieved for a moment before the silence hits him.

The baby isn’t crying.

 _Why isn’t the baby crying_ -

“He’s having trouble breathing,” the doctor says quickly. “We need to get this sorted-“

He passes the baby to the midwife who quickly heads towards the door. 

“What’s happening?” John croaks, tears streaming down his face as he tries to sit up. “Is my baby okay?”

The doctor starts speaking, but John’s eyes are fixed on the midwife leaving the room hurriedly. 

“Go with her,” John begs Freddie. “Follow her, something’s wrong with the baby-“

Freddie looks conflicted, torn between staying with his sub and seeing to their baby, but at John’s desperate look he quickly follows the midwife after giving the younger man a quick kiss. 

The last thing John sees before he passes out is Freddie’s terrified face as he leaves the room.

*****

When John regains consciousness, he temporarily forgets where he is. 

He half-expects Andy and George to come skipping in for their morning cuddle, until he realises he’s not in his own bed, and he’s wearing a hospital gown. The pain between his legs suddenly returns, and anxiety hits him like a train when he remembers where he is and why he’s here-

“John?”

John blinks, relaxing a little when he sees Freddie sitting beside the bed, a bundle of blankets in his arms.

Their baby.

“He’s okay,” Freddie says quickly, clearly sensing John’s unease. “We have a healthy baby boy, darling.”

John smiles as Freddie stands and comes over to sit on the bed. He sits up slowly, ignoring the pain down below, and holds his arms open for the baby.

“He’s really fine?” John asks as he gently takes the baby, inspecting him quickly. 

One mouth, one nose. Two eyes, two ears. Ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. 

“Absolutely.” Freddie beams. “He had a bit of trouble breathing at first, but his airways are clear and the doctor says he’s doing fine.”

John can feel himself welling up with tears as tiny eyes blink up at him. All the pain, all the distress- all worth it. 

“He’s a Dom,” John says softly, inhaling the baby’s scent. 

They sit there for a few minutes in silence, and John presses his fingers to the baby’s chest, feeling that tiny heartbeat and his son’s chest rising and falling. 

But when he looks up, there are tears in Freddie’s eyes. 

“I nearly lost you,” Freddie says quietly. 

John reaches forward to caress his Dom’s face. “I’m here. I’m safe.”

Freddie smiles, leaning in to kiss John. “Yes you are. Thank you so much for giving me another child. I’m never going to let anything happen to you, John. You or our children.”

John is reluctant to hand the baby back to Freddie when the nurse comes to check on him and sort out his stitches, but Freddie stays with him and they chat quietly about ideas for names. 

“Nathan Arthur Mercury,” the nurse says approvingly as she scribbles the name on a band which she fastens around the baby’s wrist. “A lovely name.”

John meets Freddie’s gaze and they share a smile. 

Every second of the last nine months has most definitely been worth it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still struggling to balance family life with work, Roger starts to suspect that all is not well with Freddie and John...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’re all keeping well at the moment lovelies <3 We’ve made it to the penultimate chapter which is very exciting but beware of angst ahead...
> 
> Additional warnings in this chapter for mentions of implied alcoholism and terminal illness (cancer).

_March 1984_

Roger bats his eyes in the mirror and pouts, tossing the blonde hair of his wig over his shoulder. 

“So what do you think?” he asks, glancing over his shoulder at his Dom as he bends over slightly and wiggles his bum. 

Brian’s eyes are wide as his gaze travels up Roger’s nylon-clad legs to where they disappear beneath his skirt. The older man looks rather ridiculous in his pink nightie with a collar around his throat, but right now his outfit is at the back of Roger’s mind. 

Roger’s breath hitches as he watches the Dom take a few steps towards him in the mirror, and then there are large hands settling on his hips and squeezing. Roger’s eyes flutter closed as he feels Brian nose at the hair of his wig to get to his neck, and he lets out a little sigh when one hand skims up his thigh beneath his skirt.

“Christ,” Brian says breathlessly, “you look gorgeous, Rog. I know I was a bit hesitant about this idea at first, but if I’d known I’d get to watch you prance around looking like _this_ -“

“Oh fucking hell!”

Roger straightens, pulling down his skirt slightly as Brian springs away from him. 

Freddie is standing at the doorway with an annoyed look on his face as he tries to adjust his massive fake breasts. Thankfully he seems too preoccupied to have noticed Brian and Roger canoodling. 

“These bloody things are a nightmare,” Freddie sighs, giving his fake boobs a squeeze, but he grins when he catches sight of Roger. “Goodness me, darling. Look at you. Poor Brian’s going to have a hard time hiding his stiffy today.”

“Fuck off!” Brian laughs playfully, but there’s hunger in his eyes when he looks at Roger.

“Roger, darling, now you’ve done your make-up, would you mind popping next door and helping John watch the children? Brian and I need a quick word with the director.”

“Sure,” Roger says with a sweet smile, batting his eyes at Brian and deliberately brushing up against his Dom on his way out. 

He’s disappointed that they haven’t had time for a quick grope and some necking before the shoot, but Brian gives him a promising look. They’ll be plenty of time for that later, and Roger can’t wait for his Dom to have him up against the wall this afternoon.

He finds John in the dressing room next door, and he smiles at the sight of his friend in a conservative granny overcoat and a grey wig. Somehow the ensemble suits John, and Roger thinks his friend actually looks very sweet.

It’s not exactly _chaotic_ in the dressing room, but it is a _bit_ loud. Liam, Andy, Sophie and James are all colouring some pictures noisily on the floor together while John tries to coax George out from under the table, bouncing Nathan on his hip gently. 

“I want mummy!” George whines tearfully from beneath the table, glancing up at John with fearful eyes.

“It’s me, sweetheart,” John says softly. “I’m just wearing a wig and some funny clothes.”

Roger chuckles as he enters and bends down to look under the table. “Come on, Georgie Pie. We’re all just dressing up today. Come out for mummy and Uncle Rog. We can have a quick game of kiss chase before we have to go to set?”

This seems to persuade George, and Roger spends the next twenty minutes chasing the children round the dressing room so that John can have a break. 

It’s a challenge, balancing family life with work. It always has been, and it only seems to be more difficult now that there’s a small clan of children to look after. A _growing_ clan. 

“Not so rough,” John scolds Andy when the boy attempts to jump into Roger’s arms and kiss him. 

“He’s fine,” Roger grins. 

“I still don’t want to take any chances,” John says quietly. “The last thing you need right now is kids jumping on you.”

“Well they won’t be able to soon.” Roger pats his flat stomach. “And it won’t be long before I won’t be able to dress up like a schoolgirl anymore!”

Thankfully his morning sickness hasn’t been too severe this time round so he’s still able to work. This will be his fourth child, and he suspects probably his last. He loves his children more than anything in the world, but he’s finding it increasingly difficult to balance being a so-called rock star with being a mum.

He spends a little while longer playing with the kids until their assistants turn up to take over as babysitters. Roger kisses his children goodbye and reminds them to be good before heading over to the set with John.

“How come you get to be the gorgeous schoolgirl?” John sighs. “And I’m stuck as the frumpy granny?”

“I’ll loan you the costume if you like,” Roger says with a grin. “I’m sure you and Freddie can have some fun with it.”

When they walk onto set, Roger rolls his eyes at the playful wolf whistles but blows the crew kisses as he skips over to Brian, tossing his locks over his shoulder and wiggling his bum, before seating himself in his Dom’s lap. 

Brian settles a hand on Roger’s thigh, creeping up beneath his skirt, and Roger giggles and slaps him away.

Things may be very different now from when they started in this business over a decade ago, but some things never change. Brian is the constant in Roger’s life, and he’s glad he has someone to share all this with. Both the celebrations and the burdens.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

*****

As the months go by, Roger starts to see the line between his professional life and personal life blur even more, and the juggling act of balancing the two is bloody draining. 

His latest pregnancy is highly publicised in the press, despite him trying to avoid the paparazzi at every opportunity, and when he finally gives birth to his beautiful Dom baby girl, a photo of him and Brian leaving the hospital with their daughter is slapped across every newspaper. It makes Roger so angry; seeing photos of _himself_ in the papers is one thing, but seeing pictures of his _children_ in there is something else entirely, and it breaks his heart just a little bit to know that _he’s_ the reason that that their privacy is constantly invaded.

When they bring her home, Charlotte is a wonderfully good baby, and even though they have a few months’ break after the birth, Roger feels it just isn’t long enough. The endless cycle of recording and touring begins again far too quickly, and he just feels so bloody tired all the time. He can’t give his children the attention they need or deserve, and when he’s working they’re all he thinks about.

He feels conflicted though; as much as he thinks that Queen is detrimental to his family life, he also feels as though they’re finally making a difference to the world. Over the last few years, he’s seen more and more submissive artists in the industry which has been promising, and he’s been touched by the amount of fan mail he’s personally received from subs around the world. 

And that only seems to increase when they do Live Aid. The buzz of performing in front of billions is incredible of course, but it’s looking out into the crowd and seeing so many subs smiling back at him that really drives him on. 

The volume of fan mail seems to triple after that performance. Letters from countless subs, telling Roger how happy they are to see him and John on stage. Telling him how good it is to see subs balancing a career with motherhood and being so successful. It makes Roger tear up a little to know that he actually gives people _hope_. 

That’s a measure of Queen’s success more powerful than album sales. 

And it makes Roger want to keep on fighting, even though the cost may be high. 

*****

In retrospect, Roger will always look back on Live Aid as their high. 

And what goes up, must come down. 

It quickly becomes apparent that the Magic Tour will be their most difficult tour to date. For one thing, the timing of it means that they can’t bring their children with them, so they’re all constantly irritable and homesick anyway. But there’s also another undercurrent of tension simmering beneath the surface that’s never been there before. 

Arguments seem to erupt far more frequently and far more easily than they used to, and it doesn’t escape Roger’s notice that it’s usually Freddie and John who start them. That’s very unusual, considering John is rarely the one to start arguments. At least when they were recording Hot Space, it was fairly clear what was upsetting John, but Roger has no idea what the bloody hell is going on with his friends now.

Something isn’t right. 

Freddie isn’t himself. He still gives as much energy as ever to their performances, but as soon as they’re backstage he’s quieter and more reserved than Roger has ever seen him. 

And as for John...well. Roger’s just a little bit afraid for his best friend. 

John has always enjoyed a drink, and his years of having a secret ‘backstage bar’ has always been a bit of joke between the four of them. But throughout the tour Roger watches that bar become crowded with more bottles and glasses, and John looks more exhausted with every show they do.

At first Roger just chalks it up to John missing his children. 

But when they have sub time together, John is distant and won’t talk about what’s upsetting him. Now matter how supportive Roger tries to be, his friend won’t let him in.

That’s even more frightening, because John tells Roger _everything_. They’ve always been open with each other and they both know that they can talk to each other about anything. Which means whatever is bothering John must be something so big that he thinks even talking to Roger won’t help. 

It all ends up building to a climax during their final show of the tour at Knebworth, when John takes a drink between every song despite Freddie’s worried looks. 

His performance is still perfect of course, but Roger can see John’s red eyes and shaking fingers from where he’s sitting and for the first time, he’s actually _scared_. It’s so unlike John. 

Something is _wrong_ , something has been wrong for a while, and Roger just wants this concert to be over so he can figure out what it is. He ignores the roar of the crowd and keeps his eyes on John, and he just wants to take his best friend into his arms and keep him safe like he always used to. 

The moment that _really_ shocks him though, the moment that really makes his blood _freeze_ , is when John takes off his bass after Radio Ga Ga and throws it across the stage into the other bass guitars lined up at the back. 

It’s a move that most rock stars wouldn’t bat an eye at, but it’s so uncharacteristic of John that it makes Roger wonder if this lifestyle has finally taken its toll on the younger sub. He seriously wonders if this should be the end of Queen, for all their sakes. 

Roger barely pays attention to Freddie’s closing words to the crowd; he just wants to scoop John into his arms and take him home. The minute they’re offstage, Roger immediately grabs John’s hand before cupping his face, staring into his red-rimmed eyes. 

“Deaky,” Roger says in a shaky voice, ignoring the crew and roadies bustling around them. “Tell me what’s wrong. Please. Just tell me-“

But before John can say anything, Freddie is looming over them, pure anger on his face. 

“What the _fuck_ , John?” Freddie hisses. “What the hell do you think you’re playing at? You damaged a load of our gear, not to mention you could have _hurt_ someone. How much have you had to drink tonight?”

“None of your business,” John slurs, removing his arm from his Dom’s grip. “I’m a bloody rock star.”

Freddie’s face hardens as he raises his voice. “You know this is not the behaviour I expect of you when we’re performing. And I can tell you now, when we get home I won’t be allowing you to kiss our children goodnight smelling of alcohol.”

Brian meets Roger’s eyes, helpless to do anything as their friends argue. 

“How _dare_ you,” John says with a dangerous glare. “You have no idea what it’s like to have to deal with this alone. I’m not going to pretend that I’m coping but I can’t live like this any more and I need help, Freddie.”

Roger doesn’t have a clue what they’re talking about, but it confirms his suspicions there’s something going on here that him and Brian don’t know about. 

“We’re not talking about this here,” Freddie says sharply. “Go to our dressing room and we’ll deal with this there.”

John blinks back tears, clearly too exhausted to argue back as he stumbles off in the direction of the dressing rooms.

Freddie runs a hand over his face, looking as though he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“What the hell is going on, Fred?” Roger asks quietly, trying to keep the fear from his voice. “You and John are both scaring me. He hasn’t been himself these last few months and I just want to help.”

Freddie sighs, his shoulders slumping. “Listen, I need to go and deal with John and make sure he’s okay, but we do need to talk to you about something. Can you come to our dressing room in twenty minutes?”

Roger nods, frowning as he watches Freddie run after John. 

“That sounded ominous,” Brian says worriedly.

Roger takes hold of his Dom’s hand and steps closer to him, inhaling his scent. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt more frightened, and he’s grateful to have his Dom by his side.

Whatever it is that’s going on here, they can face it together.

*****

The next twenty minutes feel like the longest in the world, but by the time they arrive in Freddie and John’s dressing room, it’s clear that their friends have calmed down a bit. 

John looks as though he’s been crying, but he’s sat quietly at Freddie’s feet now, leaning his head on the Dom’s knee as Freddie strokes his curls gently. The sub is wearing a dressing gown, his clothes from earlier discarded on a chair, and there’s a small paddle on the table in the corner, which suggests that Freddie has already delivered John’s punishment. 

“Before we talk, John has something to say to you first,” Freddie says softly as Brian and Roger take a seat on the sofa opposite. “Go ahead, love.”

John glances up at them through his lashes, giving a shaky smile. “Sorry for my behaviour earlier. I didn’t mean to worry you both.”

Roger sits forward and takes Brian’s hand. “It’s okay, Deaky, but we can’t help but worry. What’s going on? Whatever’s happened or is happening, we can deal with it together. We’re a family, remember?”

“Yes,” Freddie says. “You’re right. We were waiting for the right time to tell you, but I think that time has come.” 

Roger fully expects Freddie to announce that he and John have decided to quit the band so that they can spend more time with their family. He steels himself to tell them that he supports them, and that their children are more important than Queen ever will be. So he’s very unprepared for what Freddie says next.

“I’m afraid I’m very unwell.”

There’s a heavy pause, and John rests his head on Freddie’s knee again.

Brian frowns. “Unwell? You’re sick?”

Freddie nods glumly. “I’ve been diagnosed with cancer. Lung cancer.”

Roger feels as though the floor has dropped from beneath them. The room is spinning and he feels sick. 

This isn’t right. He’s dreaming. There’s been a mistake.

“Lung cancer?” Roger echoes. “But you’re only thirty-nine.”

Freddie smiles sadly. “We thought it was a chest infection at first. But we found out a couple of months ago that it was a bit more serious.”

“It’s treatable though, right?” Brian asks. 

“Yes,” Freddie says gently, “but I’ve already been told that it doesn’t look good. The doctor says it’s terminal.”

“Shit.” Roger chokes out a sob. “Did they tell you how long?”

“Could be months. Could be years. It’s difficult to tell.”

They sit there in silence for a moment, and Roger just wants to scream at how unfair this all is. He doesn’t understand. Freddie doesn’t deserve this. John doesn’t deserve this. Their children don’t deserve this. 

Roger’s eyes meet John’s, and the younger sub gives him a hopeless look. 

It seems as though there’s so much to say but none of them know where to begin. 

Instead, they settle for a hug. 

The four of them stand wordlessly and embrace each other, and Roger feels himself start to cry. He inhales their four scents mixed together, memorising this moment. They’ve always been a family, and they’ll help each other to get through this just like they’ve helped each other a thousand times before. 

Except this is different.

This isn’t them trying to get out of an outdated clause in a record contract, or working through relationship issues, or preparing to have a baby.

This is Freddie’s life.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Freddie becomes more ill, he reflects on everything that Queen has given him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we made it to the end. Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck with me over the last few months and left such lovely comments. I really do appreciate all the kind words and I really hope you’ve enjoyed this fic. My plan is to write at least one more fic in this series which will be set after Freddie’s death, and I hope to begin that shortly. But otherwise hope you enjoy the final chapter, and much love to you all! <3
> 
> Warnings in this chapter for frequent mentions of terminal illness and referenced future death. As mentioned previously, Freddie dies of cancer in this universe although it’s not discussed much specifically, but there are mentions of how unwell he is and his own reflections on his mortality.
> 
> For those who don’t follow my blog- there are mentions in this chapter of ‘nominated Doms’. As subs legally can’t own property and be paid wages directly, they nominate a Dom to look after their money for them and to provide consent for them to do certain things (eg. to get hold of contraception). In some cases, but not all cases, they may also provide the sub with pastoral care in terms of punishments/rewards (which aren’t always sexual). If a sub is claimed, their Dom partner will automatically be their nominated Dom, but if they’re unclaimed it will usually be a relative or close friend. All children also need a nominated Dom who is legally responsible for them (essentially just acting as their legal named guardian)- this is usually their father. 
> 
> So the nominated Dom role is very different to a Dom who claims a sub- claiming is like marriage and there’s a romantic relationship between the two people, whereas the nominated Dom is more a legal title and usually held by family members.

_February 1991_

Freddie has always loved parties, but tonight he just can’t get in the mood.

He’s usually high on adrenaline at album launch parties; they’re a chance to celebrate after months of hard work, and usually a signal that a tour is not far off. They’re also an opportunity for Freddie to do what he does best; mingle and show off while getting impossibly drunk. 

But he doesn’t feel like showing off tonight. He knows there’s no tour to look forward to this time- no chance to perform the songs they’ve worked so hard on to their fans. They haven’t toured in four years, and while the rest of the band insist that it’s a relief, that they’ve been wanting to stop the endless cycle of recording and touring, Freddie knows they would have kept going it weren’t for him being ill. He’s knows his health is the only thing stopping Queen from performing to their fans. 

And Freddie _really_ does feel ill tonight. He feels exhausted and weak, and John had tried to make him stay home earlier when he was having breathing difficulties, but Freddie wasn’t having it.

Not when this is likely his last ever launch party. 

Freddie glances round the room, smiling to himself as he considers how lucky he is. He’s so lucky to have had such an incredible career, to have been able to actually make a difference in this industry. To know so many titans of the music business who are in this room right now. 

Freddie scans the faces in the crowd, smiling when he spots his sub across the other side of the room, talking to Roger.

John’s eyes meet Freddie’s, and there are wrinkles around his eyes as he smiles back. The lilac submissive robes he’s wearing tonight are Grecian in style, leaving his arms bare. The armlet he’s wearing was a Christmas gift from Freddie, as were the jewels that are fixed into his greying curls. Their youngest son had attempted to help John with his hair tonight, which is why the jewels are spread a bit unevenly, but he’s never looked more beautiful. 

Freddie knows that even if he died tomorrow, he’d still die the luckiest man on earth. 

He can feel his smile grow as the younger man makes his way over, politely dodging well wishers as he heads over to his Dom. Freddie opens his arms for his sub to step into; John isn’t usually big on public displays of affection, but he can clearly sense that Freddie needs a hug.

“You alright?” John asks gently. “Do you want to go home? You look a bit tired, Fred.”

“I’m fine, my love.” Freddie kisses John’s cheek. “I’m staying off the alcohol tonight. I haven’t had a chance to say it yet, but you are an absolute vision.”

John laughs, and gestures at his robes. “Do you like the gown then? It’s new. I thought I’d better not be photographed in the same sub robes I’ve worn for our last two launch parties.”

“It’s gorgeous, darling. Looks a lot more comfortable than some of your other sub robes.”

“No corset with this one,” John says happily. “Could you imagine if I’d worn something like _this_ when we first started out twenty years ago? The scandal of a sub not wearing a corset to a formal event! At least some things have changed for the better.”

Freddie cups John’s cheek and brushes a thumb over his bottom lip. This will probably be in the papers tomorrow but he doesn’t care. He wants to make the most of this if this could be his last party with Queen. 

He’s just about to lean in for a kiss when his stomach starts to churn, and a wave of dizziness hits him. John clasps Freddie’s hand tightly, a worried expression on his face. 

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright, Fred? We can leave if you’re not feeling well-“

“I’m fine, darling,” Freddie says quickly, squeezing John’s hand. “I’m just going to pop to the loo quickly. I’m alright, sweetheart. Promise.”

John doesn’t look convinced, but Freddie reassures him with a quick kiss and a gentle smile before speeding off in the direction of the loos. 

He feels a little hot by the time he makes it to the toilets, but splashing some water on his face helps. Physically he felt fine before they arrived, and he suspects that his queasiness is due to psychological factors more than anything else. Looking around the room tonight and feeling the buzz has really hit him with the realisation that he might never get to do this again; he might never get to _be_ like this again. He might never get to see John dressed up in formal robes again, looking happy and heartbreakingly beautiful.

Freddie blinks at himself in the mirror. He looks pale and tired and gaunt, and his beard is no longer doing the best job of hiding his blotchy skin. He looks like a very ill man. 

He’s just dabbing his face with a handtowel when he becomes aware of another Dom entering the room and standing at the sink next to him. 

“God, you look awful.”

Freddie freezes, his heart sinking. He’d know that voice anywhere.

He puts his towel down to look at the Dom, his stomach churning again. 

Ray Foster grins in a way that makes Freddie’s toes curl. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Freddie growls.

“I _am_ still one of the most powerful record executives in this industry, lest you forget,” Ray chuckles. “ _You_ may not respect my contributions to the music business, but other people do. On a serious note, I wanted to congratulate you on another successful album.” He clears his throat. “I also wanted to tell you how sorry I was to hear about your illness.”

Freddie feels his heart sink further. They haven’t formally announced anything to the public yet.

“Heard it through the grapevine,” Ray says quietly. “Don’t worry. No one’s leaked it to the press.”

“Yeah, well. Shit happens.”

“I am sorry though, Freddie.” Ray’s voice is oddly soft; it’s a tone that doesn’t sound right coming from him. “I know you and I had our differences when we worked together, but this is not something I would wish on anyone.”

Freddie nods, and he’s just about to head for the door and pretend this conversation never happened when Ray says something that makes him sick to his stomach. 

“I feel terrible for John too, of course. He’ll be an attractive prize for any Dom when he’s widowed.”

It’s a threat, Freddie knows it, and before he can stop himself he grabs the front of Ray’s shirt and shoves him up against the wall. The older Dom looks momentarily surprised, but then he’s grinning again. 

“Touchy subject?” Ray chuckles. “At least you know there will be plenty of Doms who will be willing to look after John when you’re not here anymore. People always ask me who the greatest beauty of the music industry is, and even after all this time, I still tell them it must be John Mercury or Roger May of Queen. I’ve always had a soft spot for John though.”

“Don’t you fucking _dare_ say his name,” Freddie spits. “I don’t want you going anywhere near him, understand? You stay away from him.”

“You won’t be around to stop me, lad,” Ray chuckles. “I’m sure John will appreciate a bit of comfort from a well-meaning Dom when he’s weeping at your funeral-“

Freddie can’t stop himself from punching Ray square in the jaw, and it’s hard enough to draw blood, which gives Freddie an incredible sense of satisfaction, especially when he sees Ray looking so shocked. He’s about to throw another when they’re interrupted by someone else entering the bathroom, and Freddie lets Ray slide to the floor. 

“Stay the fuck away from my family,” Freddie yells, tears in his eyes as he pushes past whoever’s just come in so he can get out of here, it’s _suffocating_ -

He heads back to the function room, grabbing a glass of champagne and downing it before he finds John. The sub is busy talking to a couple of other subs Freddie doesn’t recognise, but he has a worried look on his face as the Dom approaches. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” Freddie says, forcing a tired smile, “but I’m feeling really unwell. Is it alright if we make a move?”

“Yes, of course,” John says gently, soft concern on his face. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

They quickly stop to say goodbye to Brian and Roger, who also can’t hide their concern.

That’s the thing Freddie probably hates most about all this. People always look at him like _that_. Like he’s made of glass.

“Had too much to drink then, Fred?” Roger asks playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow,” Freddie chuckles tiredly.

They manage to escape without too much fanfare, and luckily they have a driver waiting outside for them because all Freddie wants to do is curl up with John in the backseat. The drive home is quiet; Freddie holds John’s hand the entire way, Foster’s words echoing in his mind. He’s grateful for John’s soothing submissive scent, and wonders how on Earth he would have dealt with this dreadful illness without his loyal sub by his side. 

When they get home, John offers to make them both tea, but Freddie just wants to go to bed. 

The boys are all fast asleep, and Freddie goes to each of their rooms one by one to kiss them goodnight, stroking their hair gently. He smiles when he sees that Nate has left his own bedroom to climb into bed with Andy, the two of them cuddled up together and snoring softly. 

By the time Freddie heads into the master bedroom he’s feeling a lot better. He always marvels at the effect his children have on him. They can make him feel optimistic about anything. 

He pulls off his tie and starts to undress, watching John carefully remove his jewellery from the corner of his eye. Watching John undress after a formal night out has always been one of Freddie’s favourite activities; he loves the domesticity of it, and he loves knowing that he’s the only one in the world who gets to see this. 

John wordlessly comes over and turns around so that Freddie can unlace the back of his gown, and Freddie smiles as he goes about his task. His throat feels a little dry as the robes slip from John’s shoulders and down his body to pool at his feet, leaving him in just his collar and a pair of black briefs. As John shoots him a grateful look while rummaging around for his nightwear, Freddie can’t help but wonder if his sub will ever let another Dom look at him like this when Freddie is gone.

They finish changing and brushing their teeth in silence, and it isn’t until they’re climbing into bed together that John questions him about this evening. 

“So,” John says softly as he settles back against the pillows, “are you going to tell me what happened earlier? When you went to the loo?”

John always knows when something isn’t right.

“Honestly, love, I don’t feel the alcohol sat well with me tonight. I was just really queasy. I feel better now though.”

Freddie pulls the sub close and kisses him gently. 

John chuckles. “I think you’re getting old, Mr Mercury.”

“Hush, darling.” Freddie gives John’s backside a playful swat. “If anyone asks, I’m barely a day over thirty.”

The gentle banter seems to be enough to keep John from prying for now. They kiss goodnight and cuddle up as they usually do, and Freddie watches John fall asleep in his arms with the events of the night still running through his head.

_He’ll be an attractive prize for any Dom when he’s widowed._

*****

After a sleepless night of running through plans in his head, the first thing Freddie does the next morning is drive to Brian and Roger’s house. 

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” John asks worriedly, placing Nate’s breakfast down in front of him as Freddie searches for his car keys. 

“Much better, darling, thank you.” Freddie gives John a quick peck on the lips, feeling oddly energised despite the lack of sleep. “I just want to pop over to speak to Brian about this holiday we’re all going on. Think he needs a hand with sorting out some logistics.”

They’re all planning to take a trip to Spain together during the Easter holidays, which seems like an appropriate excuse to visit Brian. They had been planning to go to America for a few weeks originally, but a few months ago Freddie’s health had taken a turn for the worse and John had thought it better that they go somewhere closer to home. They also subsequently decided to sell their holiday home in Los Angeles, as John didn’t want to have to deal with the upkeep while Freddie was going through treatment. 

“Holiday!” Nate says excitedly. 

“Yes, that’s right,” Freddie chuckles, stroking Nate’s hair and giving him a quick kiss on the head. “You have to be good though if you want to go on holiday.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” John asks. “After I’ve dropped Nate off at school?”

“No, don’t worry, love. It shouldn’t take long.”

Freddie says a quick goodbye to Andy and George on his way out, who are already ambling down the driveway with their school blazers slung over their shoulders. 

“Want a lift to school, boys?” Freddie offers as he climbs into the car.

“We’re fine, thanks daddy,” George replies with a smile.

Freddie waves to them both as he pulls out of the drive, and the London rush hour traffic gives him more time to think through his plan, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he runs through everything in his head. He knows what he has to do now, and he can’t believe he waited this long to do it. 

By the time he pulls into the driveway of the May household, Roger is wrestling Charlotte into the backseat of his car, while Liam, Sophie and James all look incredibly bored. Looks like they’re running late again.

“You’re over early,” Roger frowns, pushing his sunglasses up his nose with one hand. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, fine.” Freddie runs a hand through his hair, pulling a funny face at Charlotte which makes her giggle. “Is he in? Just want to have a word with him about something.”

“Yeah, he’s in. Bastard reminded me it’s my turn to do the school run this morning. It always seems to be my turn when we’re out the night before.”

Freddie laughs. “Would you have thought fifteen years ago you’d be doing the school run after an album launch party? Look at you now, yummy mummy.”

They exchange a little more banter before Roger sets off, at which point Brian appears to let Freddie in. 

“Are you feeling better?” Brian asks as he leads Freddie inside and starts to make them tea. “You looked a bit peaky last night, Fred.”

Freddie drums his fingers against the kitchen counter. “That’s probably because I ran into Ray Foster.”

Brian frowns. “What? He was at the party last night?”

“Yep. Saw him in the gents. Doesn’t matter what we do, Brian, we’ll never get away from him. That bastard will haunt us forever.” Freddie sighs. “Which got me thinking. About John. And it made me realise I haven’t taken care of everything I need to in my will.”

Brian’s shoulders slump. “Freddie-“

“We need to stop pretending that this isn’t going to happen, Brian. We all know it will, but none of us will bloody talk about it. And it could be soon.”

There are tears in Brian’s eyes now. All of them avoid talking about the inevitable end to all this whenever they can, and Freddie knows it’s painful, but they need to start acknowledging it. 

“I want to ask you to do something for me,” Freddie says quickly. “And I’ll get on my knees and beg you if I have to.”

Brian nods. “Of course. Anything.”

Freddie takes a deep breath, trying to articulate all the thoughts he’s had over the last eight hours. 

“I need to name a nominated Dom for John for after I...when I’m not around anymore. George will also need a nominated Dom, and Andy and Nate will need one until they turn eighteen. There are only a few people I trust enough. I think you would be the best for them.”

Brian swallows, raising an eyebrow as if he wasn’t quite expecting to be asked that. “Me? Are you sure? John wouldn’t prefer his sister, or your sister?”

“They live too far away,” Freddie dismisses. “And I don’t want to put the burden of Queen on them. Whoever I choose will need to deal with mine and John’s finances, not to mention the media attention this is likely to bring. I know you can handle it.”

Brian nods. “That makes sense.”

“And it won’t be just the legal stuff to deal with, Brian. It won’t just be signing a bit of paper every once in a while to give John access to money...there’ll be the pastoral care side of it too. I have no doubt that the minute I’m in a coffin there’ll be Doms from all over the world who will take an interest in John and want to claim him. Him and Rog are still considered two of the most beautiful subs in the music industry, after all. And John’s Dom will have access to half of Queen’s royalties- my share and John’s. I need someone who isn’t going to take advantage of him and abuse their power. I need someone that he can trust.”

“It would be easier if I could _claim_ John,” Brian says bitterly. “That would keep the vultures away. But I suspect that’s something John wouldn’t want.”

“That would be ideal, yes. But I think you’re right. John might put his foot down on being claimed again so soon. And it might cause us similar issues to when you and I originally claimed the subs and Foster accused us of fraud. So you might have to stick to being his nominated Dom to begin with. Which means you’ll get requests from Doms wanting to claim him, and you’ll need to say no. Every time. It will be draining and tedious-“

“I can do it,” Brian says firmly. “No problem. I’ll keep them away from John.”

The determination in Brian’s voice makes Freddie relax a little. He knew he could rely on his best friend. A part of him had wondered if Brian might refuse, but he knows now he won’t have to worry about that. Queen are a family, after all. 

“Thank you,” Freddie says gently, reaching out to squeeze Brian’s hand. “And I know this is a big ask but...it might be safer if John and the kids come and live with you. At least for a little while. I don’t like the idea of them being in a house alone without an adult Dom around, especially when the world and his wife know where we live.”

“I think you’re right,” Brian says. “John would be safer here. And Roger and I can help him with the kids.”

“Do you think Roger will be okay with this?”

“I’ll need to talk to him about it, but I think he’ll be fine. He will understand. And he’ll want to be there for John. I think it’s a good idea for them to be in the same house so John can have sub time when he needs it.”

Freddie nods. “Thank you. So...in principle, you agree to this?”

Brian’s face softens. “Of course, Freddie.”

“You promise to look after John? Keep him safe?”

“I promise, Freddie. I’ll treat him like my own sub.” Brian hesitates, as if he thinks he’s said something wrong, but Freddie just smiles.

“That’s what I wanted to hear. You have my complete permission and blessing to see to John’s submissive needs in whatever way you and him see fit- rewards, punishments, whatever. I know it will be weird at first, but John loves you and trusts you. So do I. I know you’ll do what’s best for him.”

They sit in silence for a moment, and Freddie stares at his tea. 

“There’s one other thing I wanted to say,” Freddie says softly. “John has always loved you, and I know you love him. It’s only natural that the love you already feel for each other might grow into something stronger-“

“ _Freddie_.” Brian blushes. “I would never take advantage-“

“I know you wouldn’t, Brian. I’m just saying...it’s only natural for a Dom and sub who live together and who are already close to develop romantic feelings. And I don’t want anyone to feel guilty about it. I just want you all to be happy. And if later down the road, John decides he might like you to claim him...then you have my blessing.”

Brian smiles. “This is probably the most surreal conversation we’ve ever had. And we’ve had some very odd ones while drunk.”

Freddie laughs, and he’s suddenly hit by a wave of affection for his best friend. He pulls Brian into a hug.

“Thank you,” Freddie says, his voice wobbling. “Thank you so much. I know what a huge ask this is.”

“Of course, Freddie. I know you’d do the same for me.”

Freddie nods. “All we need to do now is get John on board.”

Brian frowns. “You haven’t talked to John about this yet?”

“I wanted to make sure you were willing to do this before I spoke to John. But I can’t put off talking to him about it any longer.”

He’s one step closer to securing John’s protection, and it feels like a huge weight off his shoulders. They spend the rest of the morning catching up on gossip from the party last night, and Freddie finds it oddly relaxing after their heavy conversation. It’s a welcome distraction, and once again Freddie counts himself lucky to have such a wonderful best friend. 

He will forever be grateful for Brian May.

*****

That afternoon Freddie has a hospital appointment, which John accompanies him to, and which only seems to emphasise the need for him to finalise his plan with Brian.

“I’m afraid your x-rays don’t look good, Mr Mercury,” the doctor says sombrely. “Your lungs don’t seem to be responding to the treatment as we’d hoped. The tissue has deteriorated quite a bit.”

It’s news that doesn’t surprise Freddie; he’s known he’s been getting iller for some time. He coughs up blood into the sink most mornings, is utterly exhausted most of the time, and he’s so breathless he can barely chase Nate round the garden anymore. It’s still not an easy thing to hear though, no matter how much he’s prepared himself or come to terms with the fact that he’s not going to be around much longer. 

The mood in the car on the way home is low, especially after Freddie argues with John about who should drive. He insists that he’s fine to drive but John isn’t convinced, and they sit in stubborn silence for most of the way home. 

It isn’t until Freddie notices John wipe a tear away in the passenger seat that he decides to pull over onto the hard shoulder, and he unbuckles his seatbelt so that he can pull his sub into a hug. 

“I’m sorry, darling,” Freddie says gently, kissing greying curls. “I’m a stubborn git who should listen to his loving submissive more often.”

“It’s not that, Fred,” John sniffs. “I just can’t stop thinking about what the doctor said. Your x-rays-“

“I know, my love, I know. We knew this was coming but that doesn’t make it any easier to hear.”

They sit there for a few minutes and cuddle, and they both have a little cry. It does all feel rather hopeless at the moment, and even though Freddie has come to terms with what’s happening to him, he hasn’t come to terms with how much pain he’s causing John. How much pain he’s causing his whole family. 

“I need to pop over to Brian’s again tomorrow morning,” Freddie says gently, deciding that now may be the best time to raise this before they get home and see the kids. “There are some things we need to sort out.”

“After seeing him this morning?” John frowns. 

“Yes, we’re having a steamy gay affair, you see.”

John laughs at that; a proper laugh that causes little wrinkles around his eyes. A laugh Freddie hasn’t seen in so long. 

“Actually, darling,” Freddie says seriously, “I’ve been chatting to Brian about my will, and I wanted to run something past you.”

The wrinkles disappear from around John’s eyes. “Oh?”

“I realised that I haven’t named a nominated Dom for you. For when the time comes.”

“For when the time comes.” John’s expression is difficult to read. “And you’re thinking Brian might be a good choice?”

“Well, yes. We need someone we can trust. Someone who will look after you and not abuse their power. I’ve spoken to Brian and he’s agreed in principle, but of course I won’t do anything without you being happy with it. Brian has said he’s happy to become the nominated Dom for you and the boys, and for you all to move in with him and the family. Him and Roger can provide you with the support you need, and keep interested parties away.”

John swallows. “Well that’s...very kind of him. But I don’t know, Fred. Brian has already got a sub and four children to look after. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You know Brian and Roger will love having you and the kids around, darling. There’s no one better suited to this. Brian understands the finances of Queen almost as well as you do, and he’s got a house big enough for everyone to live in comfortably. Plus he lives close enough that it won’t disrupt the kids’ education and they can be near all their friends. I don’t think we could make the same ask of your sister, or my sister, or Miami.”

John bites his lip, considering this for a moment. “What does Roger think about it?”

“Roger doesn’t know yet. We only talked about it this morning. But Brian thinks Roger will want to help in any way he can.”

“I don’t want to agree to anything unless Roger is comfortable with it.”

“Of course, love.”

“And I don’t want Brian to claim me. I don’t want anyone else to claim me.”

Freddie smiles. His sub’s loyalty to him always makes his chest fill with warmth. 

“Nominated Dom only,” Freddie says reassuringly. “He knows that. But if you ever did want to be claimed, John, by Brian or anyone else, you’d have my blessing.”

“Don’t talk like that.” John buries his face in Freddie’s chest. “You’re talking like you’re gone already.”

“I just want you to be happy.” Freddie kisses John’s cheek, his heart breaking a little. “I just want you to be safe and happy.”

They sit together a little while longer and cry. 

*****

Over the next few days Freddie and John have a few meetings with their solicitors to work through Freddie’s will, and all the arrangements are in place once Brian signs his parts of the paperwork.

It’s a relief for Freddie not to have to worry about it anymore, a huge burden off his shoulders, but he notices John’s behaviour becoming more submissive as the days pass. 

The sub seems to prefer sitting at Freddie’s feet when they’re watching TV or having dinner, which earns him a worried look from his children. John often won’t look Freddie in the eye until the Dom starts speaking to him first, and he also starts calling Freddie _Master_ a lot more, even when they’re in private. 

Freddie does all he can to indulge John’s submissive urges, and he even invites Roger over one afternoon to have some extended sub time with John, while Freddie takes the kids out for a bike ride to the park. 

“So what’s up with mum?” Andy asks as they sit on the grass and watch George push Nate on the swings. “Have you guys had a fight or something?”

“No,” Freddie chuckles. “Nothing like that. I think it’s all just hitting him, you know. He’s worried.”

“Your hospital appointment didn’t go well the other day, did it?” Andy keeps his eyes focussed on his brothers. “I haven’t said anything because I don’t want to scare them. But I can tell. You didn’t get good news, right?”

Freddie has always been struck by how perceptive his oldest son is. And how grown-up he seems all of a sudden. 

“No,” Freddie says quietly. “It wasn’t good news. My lungs have got worse. I think it won’t be much longer now.”

Andy blinks at him, and he looks torn- as if he doesn’t know whether it’s appropriate for him to burst into tears right now. It’s a look Freddie never wants to see on his son’s face again, and once again it kills him to think of how much pain he’s causing his family.

“It’s alright,” Freddie says gently, pulling Andy into a hug. “It’s okay, Andy. I know it’s horrible. But we’ll make the most of every moment together.”

“I’m sorry, dad,” Andy sniffs. “I’m so sorry this is happening to you.”

“I’m sorry this is happening to all of us. You’ve all been so brave. I’m really proud of you in particular, Andy. You’ve been looking out for your mum and your brothers, and they’re only going to need more support in the future. You’ll be the Dom of the family soon.”

Andy nods. “Don’t worry, dad. I’m going to take good care of them all.”

Freddie picks up a clump of grass and starts fiddling with the blades, just to give his hands something to do. “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. Your mum and I have decided that when it happens...Uncle Brian is going to be his nominated Dom.”

Andy frowns. “Until I’m eighteen, right? Then I can be the nominated Dom for mum and the boys.”

Freddie sighs. “Look, Andy. Being someone’s nominated Dom is a huge responsibility-“

“And you don’t think I’d be ready?”

“I’m not saying that. I’m saying that you’re still just a kid and you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. You want to go to uni after your A-Levels and you want a career...I don’t want you to have to worry about the burden of this nominated Dom business on top of all that. Especially if you might be starting a family of your own at some point. So Brian will take on the role for now, and if it’s something you still feel strongly about a few years down the line then you can have a conversation with him about it.”

“But dad-“

“This is what your mother and I want. It’s not up for discussion.”

Andy’s shoulders slump, and he stares at the grass. 

“You have noble intentions, Andy,” Freddie says softly. “And I’m really proud of the Dom you’ve become. I know I can rely on you to help Brian. It’s going to be hard for him, even as an experienced Dom. He’ll have two subs to care for, one of whom will be recently widowed, as well as seven children. He’ll need your support. He’ll need you to be his second in command. Can I rely on you to do that for him, Andy? For me?”

Andy gives a small smile. “Of course you can. Between us, we’ll have it covered.”

They share another hug, and Freddie can’t help but feel immensely proud of his son, who’s being forced to grow up far too quickly. 

“Alright,” Freddie says as he clears his throat and stands, yelling over to his two youngest sons. “Who wants ice cream? I’ll get you whatever you want as long as you keep it secret from mum!”

*****

When they arrive back home that evening, they find John in the living room with Roger having a cup of tea. They both look very content and relaxed, which makes Freddie glad that he gave them the opportunity for some alone time together. 

“Uncle Rog!” Nate says excitedly, immediately throwing himself into Roger’s lap.

“Hello, rascal,” Roger laughs, tickling Nate’s tummy. “Did you have a good time with daddy at the park?”

“Yeah,” Nate giggles. “George pushed me really high on the swings.”

“Until he got distracted by a couple of Dom teenagers,” Andy says with a wink, nudging his brother. 

“They said hello to me,” George shrugs. “I was just trying to be nice.” He smiles at Roger. “I’m thinking about getting my hair done like yours, Uncle Rog. All the sub style magazines are saying it’s really cool.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to copy your mum’s hair?” Roger asks with a grin, reaching over to stroke John’s curls. “He’s probably one of the few people who can still get away with a perm in the 90s.”

“Yes, well, I’m thinking about losing the perm,” John laughs. “It’s probably not a sensible hairstyle for a sub of my age. And it doesn’t look as good now I’m going grey.”

“I love your hair, mum,” Andy says warmly, leaning down to kiss John’s cheek. “And I think grey hair looks badass.”

“Mama’s boy,” George mutters quietly beneath his breath.

“But your hair looks really nice too, Roger,” Andy says, blushing a little when the sub winks at him. 

Freddie smiles at John; it would seem Andy still hasn’t grown out of his teenage crush on their friend. 

“Are you going to stay for dinner, Rog?” Freddie asks. 

“Would love to, mate, but it’s pizza night at home and I promised I’d be back in time. We should all definitely get together for dinner soon though.”

They wave goodbye to Roger a little more than half an hour later, and Freddie is suddenly very glad that his family will still have this man in their life when he’s gone. He always manages to lift their spirits and is adored by all of them, and Freddie knows that his family will be in good hands. 

They’re all in a positive mood when they settle down to dinner, and Freddie just takes a moment to enjoy his family’s playful banter. He knows it’s not as if he’ll be able to miss anything when he’s gone, but he definitely wishes he could stick around for more of this.

“So,” Freddie says through a mouthful of chicken. “George. Tell me about these Dom kids who were chatting you up at the park today. Must’ve slipped my notice, which is very unusual.”

“They were just being friendly, daddy,” George sighs, rolling his eyes playfully. “We didn’t swap numbers or anything like that.”

“Just being friendly, eh? Yeah, I’ve heard that one before.”

“George doesn’t need to flirt with random Dom kids in parks anyway,” Andy grins. “He’s already going out with a Dom at school.”

“You snitch!” George glares at his older brother. 

“George has a Domfriend!” Nate sing-songs, giggling. 

“Domfriend?” Freddie frowns. “Why haven’t I heard about this? Darling, did you know anything about this?”

John holds up his hands and shakes his head with a smile. 

“He’s just a guy in my English class,” George sighs. “He walks me home from school sometimes. That’s it.”

“I want to meet him,” Freddie says immediately. “I want to meet any Dom who’s sniffing round my twelve year old son.”

“He’s not _sniffing_ , daddy,” George insists. “He’s really nice, honestly. And I’m nearly thirteen, so don’t you think it’s about time I started going out with Doms?”

“I want to meet him,” Freddie says again. “Your father has spoken, end of conversation.”

George sulks for a little while but the rest of dinner is mostly pleasant, and they all laugh at the look on Nate’s face when John insists he has to eat the pile of vegetables he’s left on his plate. 

They all clear up cheerfully together once they’ve finished eating before settling down to watch some TV. This is always Freddie’s favourite part of the day; spending time with his family and making stupid jokes with them as they watch old reruns. One of the good things about not touring over the last few years is getting to do more of this. He only wishes they’d started doing it sooner. 

Around nine the boys decide to head upstairs and finish some last bits of homework, and John is just about to get up to put Nate to bed and read him a story, when Andy insists he’ll do it instead. 

“You guys stay here,” Andy says with a smile. “I can take care of Nate.”

The young Dom gives Freddie a hug before lifting John’s hand to his lips and kissing his knuckles. Freddie smiles as he watches Andy take his younger brother by the hand and lead him upstairs. He thinks back to their conversation earlier this afternoon, and he knows his family will definitely be in good hands. 

“That kid used to be such a cockblocker when he was younger,” Freddie laughs, “but now I think he’s trying to get us hot for each other.”

John laughs, but there’s a heat in his eyes that Freddie hasn’t seen in a while. Freddie’s treatment hasn’t left them much time or energy for sex recently, but Freddie is in such a good mood from his relaxing day with his family, and John is clearly still warmed up from his sub time with Roger, that they end up necking like teenagers right there on the sofa.

“Let’s take this upstairs, shall we?” Freddie grins. “Somewhere a little more private?”

They’re laughing as they run upstairs hand in hand, and the minute they’re in the bedroom, Freddie presses his sub up against the wall and kisses him. His heart is hammering in his chest just as it was the first time they did this nearly twenty years ago. 

John gives Freddie a look that can only be described as _saucy_. 

“How can I please you, Master?” John whispers, and _that_ goes straight to Freddie’s dick.

“Strip,” Freddie growls, stepping back to give the sub space. 

He watches John pull his t-shirt over his head, his erection growing as he admires John’s torso, which has grown slightly softer with age, but is no less beautiful. He watches John reach for his belt and unbuckle it slowly, giving his Dom a sensual look. 

“Cheeky minx,” Freddie chuckles. “Hurry up.”

John pulls off his socks before pushing his trousers and underwear down in one go and stepping out of them. He stands naked before his Dom, wearing nothing but his collar, his cock already hard, and Freddie can’t help but think that his sub has only grown more beautiful with age. 

“Lovely thing,” Freddie praises. “Why don’t you show me what you can do with your mouth?”

Freddie unbuckles his belt as John eagerly falls to his knees, and he lets out a gasp as his sub swallows his cock whole.

“Fuck,” Freddie groans, grabbing a fistful of John’s hair as the sub slowly bobs up and down. “You really are the perfect cocksucker, John. You know exactly what to do, gorgeous.”

The pleasure clouds his head as he loses himself in the sensations of John’s warm wet mouth. The sub’s tongue teases the head of his dick gently, and Freddie lets a string of praise spill from his mouth. Tonight he doesn’t want to think about his illness; he only wants to think about John. 

John pulls away to take a breath, a string of saliva connecting his lips with Freddie’s dick, and Freddie decides he can’t hold on. 

“On the bed,” Freddie orders. “Grab the lube and start fingering yourself.”

Freddie undresses as John fumbles for the lube in the nightstand, and once he’s naked, he takes a few minutes just to watch John touch himself. Freddie loves fucking John, but sometimes he thinks he loves watching John pleasure himself more. 

Freddie licks his lips as he studies the way John’s eyes flutter as he fingers himself, before grabbing the lube and a condom and preparing himself. 

“Let me check if you’re ready,” Freddie says, batting John’s hand away so he can replace the sub’s fingers with his own. He slides three fingers in easily, and John lets out a breathless sigh. 

“Good boy,” Freddie praises. 

He fingers John gently, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the sub’s expressions. No one else in the world gets to see John like this. He’s Freddie’s sub and he always will be. No matter who has John when Freddie is gone, Freddie knows that it will always be his fingers, his dick, his touch that John thinks of when he’s on his back like this. 

He reaches over to the bedside table to grab John’s leash, which has been neglected as of late. He catches John’s delighted smile as he attaches the leash to his collar. 

“Hands and knees, love. You’re gagging for a good dicking, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Master,” John says breathlessly, getting into position. “Want you inside me so badly.”

Freddie grabs John’s leash with one hand and uses his other to steady John’s hips as he slides inside the sub slowly. 

“Oh, Freddie,” John sighs. “ _Please_ , fuck me-“

“Your wish is my command, my love.”

Freddie fucks his sub with as much energy as he can muster, using John’s leash to tug the younger man’s head back as he drills into him. He finds John’s sweet spot quickly, and aims for it with every thrust. He smiles in response to the sub’s pleasured sighs, and for the first time in a while, he’s not afraid. He’s completely and utterly content. Happy beyond measure. 

He could watch his cock disappear into John’s delicious arse forever, and he loves fucking his sub like this, but he suddenly starts to feel sentimental, and he pulls out so he can flip John over.

“Want to see you,” Freddie says, unclipping John’s leash and throwing it aside. “Want to see your lovely face as you come.”

Freddie hitches one of John’s thighs up so he can slide back inside his sub. He keeps it slow this time; brushing his lips against John’s gently as he fucks him slowly. They smile at each other, making eye contact, and Freddie wonders how many more times they’ll get to do this together. 

John wraps his legs around Freddie’s waist, arching his back as Freddie’s stomach drags against his cock. The Dom laces his fingers with John’s, their hands joined next to the sub’s head as he reaches down to stroke John’s cock in time with his thrusts, kissing John’s neck above his collar.

John comes with Freddie’s name on his lips, and Freddie doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything more beautiful in his life. He follows his sub a few minutes later, and they laugh before kissing breathlessly. 

“I love you,” Freddie says. “I love you, John.”

John smiles warmly, his eyes shining. “I love you too, Freddie.”

They do a very basic clean up before settling into each other’s arms, still naked and buzzed on the afterglow of good sex. 

“Everything is going to be just fine,” Freddie says softly, kissing John’s knuckles. “I promise.”

John nods, trust in his eyes. “Everything is going to be just fine.”

Freddie kisses John’s forehead and inhales his scent. 

Whatever happens, he’s grateful for this incredible life he’s had. This gorgeous submissive, who so easily could have been someone else’s. His wonderful friends. The music they’ve created. His beautiful children.

Queen has given him so much, and he hopes he’s been able to give just as much back in return. 

END


End file.
